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is this some sort of mass murder suicide thing
kotor 2: alternate start (make them kiss)
Permalink Mark Unread

Sharra is tired and annoyed and her feet hurt and she's pretty sure someone is trying to kill her and she hasn't eaten since the night before and —

"Is this some sort of mass murder suicide thing??"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Hey now," says Atton as he goes through his stretching routine, "I wasn't actually going to use the blaster in the mines."

Permalink Mark Unread

She watches him, bemused and tired and completely dumbfounded. But also appreciative of the view.

"Why else would you take a blaster into a place that will explode everyone if you use it?"

Permalink Mark Unread

He shrugs, "Things have been going missing in the barracks," he tells her, turning press his back against the wall and slide down into a comfortable sprawl, "Did you bring food?" 

Permalink Mark Unread

"I came from the caf," she says as she reaches into her bag and takes out their dinner. "I had to bribe Elka eighty credits to give me extra. And that's on top of the four hundred it took for me to convince Wesk not to dunk you in carbonite and ship you off station."

Permalink Mark Unread

He takes his pack, "My saviour," he praises her, and then he opens it up immediately to start in on the food within, ravenous after spending most of the day starving in his cell. 

Permalink Mark Unread

...she rolls her eyes, sits down next to him and starts in on her own pack. Things have been going missing and not just from the barracks.

"Five days in the cage."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Urmgh," he swallows a mouthful, "Couldn't they just electrocute me and get it over with." 

Permalink Mark Unread

Sharra leans her head against his shoulder and oms.

"They considered it. Alongside just spacing you and also maybe blowing you up with the next detonation."

Permalink Mark Unread

"At least it'd be quick," he mutters, digging back in. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Mmmm. So hungry.


"Lettin' me come an give you breaks," she says, omming and reaching over to take one of his pepper pretzels. "Then we're gettin' locked in here for sleep shift."

Permalink Mark Unread

He snags one of her seedrolls in retaliation.

"Why don't they just lock me in one of the unused barracks," he grumbles. 

Permalink Mark Unread

"Blaster make whole station go boom. And they didn't wanna spend money and time to set up a camera feed that will need to be dismantled in a week."

Permalink Mark Unread

Grumble grumble food. 

"You gonna have much time for me between all those droid malfunctions lately?" he asks, after devouring half his meal in silence. 

Permalink Mark Unread

...she doesn't want to think about it. Grumble.

"No, but I'll make it work. Lug them up here and work on them while you sleep." She finishes her food and passes the last two bites to him. "It's like they're infecting each other. They're not even networked! Griy is pissed at me for the trouble and it's not even working! And I swear Coorta is having me followed. I keep seeing his minions everytime I turn a corner."

Permalink Mark Unread

He happily eats her last two bites. 

"You expect me to sleep with those things in here?" 

Permalink Mark Unread

Uuugh. She flops her face into his shoulder. She also doesn't think that would be smart. More like suicide.

"Had to spend an hour plastered in kolto this morning. One of them somehow got back online while I was in it's guts and nearly took my face right off."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Droids," he scoffs, "Guess you could work on them in here during the day. It'd keep Coorta out of your business, too."

Permalink Mark Unread

Hm. She nods and takes his hand to play with it. "I'll bring all my stuff up in the morning. Uthuar might pout a little, but Grant will appreciate not having to guard you all day. Can you kick Coorta out of the camera feed?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Who, me? I'm just a prisoner." 

Permalink Mark Unread

"A prisoner with free access to the security systems. I convinced Griy that locking the door behind me was enough security for the night. Cameras are disabled for privacy reasons. He was horrified at the thought of the other sec officers getting a free show."

Permalink Mark Unread

He lets out a laugh, "Devious," he nudges her, "Alright, I'll poke around the system, see if I can give Coorta some problems."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Maybe lower the cage settings while you're at it. Unless they're already on the lowest... don't want you falling over and burning your face off. I like your face."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Well, it's not on the highest," he rubs his arm, "I'll see what I can do." 

He pushes himself up from the wall to make his way over to the console, shaking out a brief limp as he goes. 

Permalink Mark Unread

...Sharra pouts and flops down on the ground, bereft of her Atton pillow.

"You don't think I'm being paranoid, do you? With Coorta."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Nah," he taps away at the console, "He's a shifty son of a bitch. Opportunistic" 

Permalink Mark Unread

"Taking advantage of the chaos but not the one orchestrating it? I don't know why he's targeting me though. To stop me from fixing the problem? I'm hardly getting anywhere in that department."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Could be anything. Maybe he has slaver contacts. Pretty girl with mechanic skills; you'd go for a lot in some sectors." 

Permalink Mark Unread

"What about you? You're the best slicer on station. And you're pretty. I guess they could be put off by your mouth and attitude problem. Can't relate to that myself."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I dunno about that. Most people don't know about my slicer skills. Anyway, slicers aren't the hot commodity on the market right now, according to the rumours."

Permalink Mark Unread

"You hear rumors? What kinda rumors." She turns to face him him properly. "Nobody tells me anything."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Sure we do, you just don't pay attention," he smirks over his shoulder at her.

He refocuses on the console, "Rumour is, the Exchange has put a massive bounty out on Jedi," he says, nonchalant. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Her face scrunches and she feels a rising anxiety. Thoughts of - thoughts she doesn't want to have.

"...what would the Exchange want with Jedi? That's just asking for their shit to get fucked up."

Permalink Mark Unread

"They do go for a lot on the market," he shrugs, "Or, the young ones do. Trained ones are more trouble than they're worth. Apparently. I mean," he shrugs again, "I can see it. Especially now they've all vanished."

Permalink Mark Unread

 

"I'd hardly call them vanished. The war took out a bunch of them, sure, but there's still the Order."

Permalink Mark Unread

-he looks up at her now, "What, you hadn't heard? The whole order up and vanished in the past few years. There was some meeting that turned into an ambush that took out a bunch of them, but they were dropping like flies before that, too." 

Permalink Mark Unread

What??? "That sounds wrong. They're Jedi, they don't just up and disappear, and they don't get caught in random ambushes."

Permalink Mark Unread

Shrug, and back to the console, "Maybe they missed a sith in the civil war. You know those things are like roaches." 

Permalink Mark Unread

"Civil war."

Permalink Mark Unread

Okay, now he turns to stare at her.

"Yeah, the Jedi Civil War. You know, Revan and Malak, Sith Lords, trying to conquer the republic? Revan doing a heel-face-turn and killing Malak to save it? All of that?" 

Permalink Mark Unread

Permalink Mark Unread

 

"What rock were you hiding under?!"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Verth 27I. Sith? That's - there's no way."

Permalink Mark Unread

He snorts, "I promise, there's a way. I mean, no idea what happened to them to make them go all," he gestures at his jaw, "Psycho Murder Conqueror. But they definitely were. Malak bombarded Telos, you know? That's where most of the fuel here goes, powering the project to rebuild." 

Permalink Mark Unread

"I knew it goes to Telos but... that's..."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Well," he coughs, "Sorry to be the one to tell you? It was a big shock for everyone back then, too. Hero of the Republic turning around to lead an army against it? Yeah." 

Permalink Mark Unread

Permalink Mark Unread

 

Should he, uh. 

 

He joins her back at the wall and. Hug? 

Permalink Mark Unread

...she buries her face into his shirt. Which smells like he's been locked up in a cage for the entire day and also burning and —

She curls up small.

Permalink Mark Unread

Okay. He'll just hold her then. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Helps. Makes her feel as close to safe as she's been in. A long time. She can't remember...


Sharra swallows hard and tries to steady her breathing. Her heart, her chest, feels hollow. Empty and yearning for —


Nothing.

Permalink Mark Unread

He... runs his fingers through her hair? Does that help? 

Permalink Mark Unread

...she lets out a deep involuntary breath and leans into him. Atton.

Warm. Soft. Solid and easy and safe.

Permalink Mark Unread

It takes him much longer to relax into the hug, but even he can only be vigilant in the face of comfort so long. He breathes in and out slow and steady, rustling her hair with every breath. 

Permalink Mark Unread

 

She calms. She still has that knowledge she once had. The training. Even if the majority of it is useless to her now, calming herself with meditation was etched into her very soul. She needed it then, and after. More than anything else, the after.

Sharra runs her hand down his chest, just a touch. "We could leave. M'sure they'd be happy to watch us go."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Mm. Sure. I support running from our problems."

Permalink Mark Unread

She looks up at him, resting her chin on his chest.

"Our problems include homicidal droids, probable attempted murder and being locked up in a force cage for a week. Why can't we run?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"I guess Coorta might follow us," he muses. "But hey, outside the station I could just shoot him." 

Permalink Mark Unread

"Not if we take the only way off the station with us."

Permalink Mark Unread

"The freighter? Yeah, he's not slick enough to sneak onto a ship without us noticing," he admits. "Isn't it grounded, though? Some kind of damage to the hyperdrive?" 

Permalink Mark Unread

"I'm no ship mechanic but I might be able to fix it with some help. I've done some work on hyperdrives before."

Permalink Mark Unread

"...it came in with a couple utility droids," he suggests, "They might know something about it. Probably need a kick in the can if they aren't already at work on the station, though."

Permalink Mark Unread

She reaches up to touch his face. Running her thumb lightly over his jaw.

"Really gonna run away with me? I don't have a lot of money. They're not going to pay us after we skimp out on our contracts with a stolen ship."

Permalink Mark Unread

He smirks, "Hey, I'm a pilot, you're a mechanic; we could do some shipping, maybe a little smuggling on the side..."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Have you been thinking about this since you learned it was a freighter?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Maybe," he admits nothing. "Wasn't really planning to live out my days as a security grunt on a backwater mining station that could blow up at any moment, though." 

Permalink Mark Unread

"It's not so bad. But I do miss. Everything. The freedom of travel. Being able to dictate my own schedule. Not having Coorta lurking around every corner waiting to jump me and sell me off into slavery."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I could get my hands on a mining drill and up the intensity," he muses. 

Permalink Mark Unread

"Maybe before you brought a gun into the lower levels, you could have," she says, laughing.

Permalink Mark Unread

He shrugs! "If we're abandoning ship anyway, wanna go through the secure storage and take some contraband? They have a stealth field generator," he tempts. 

Permalink Mark Unread

"...why is there a stealth field generator in secure storage? Why would someone bring one to a mining facility in the outer rim??"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Before my time. But hey, all sorts end up in places like this, don't they?" 

Permalink Mark Unread

She kisses him! "It wasn't my first choice, and I have only a few regrets, considering everything."

Permalink Mark Unread

Kiss! "Well, I'm full of regrets. Let's get out of here before we make more of them?" 

Permalink Mark Unread

"Tonight? I was thinking we could spend tomorrow preparing, at the very least..."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Depends on how long it takes you to fix the ship." 

Permalink Mark Unread

She thinks about it while she starts to untuck his shirt from his pants.

"Can you bring up the report? If they made one. They've been skimping a bit, from what Uthuar has been saying."

Permalink Mark Unread

He shifts a bit to make her work easier, "I can give it a go," he agrees. 

Permalink Mark Unread

He's so accommodating. She moves as well, straddling him, then running her hands over his stomach. He's warm and still a little sweaty from his day. She runs her nails lightly over him.

"Where would we go first? This is my first time being on the run in a stolen ship."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Mm... Telos? First stop out of the asteroid belt... Then again, they're the ones who'll get the report when we steal the ship." 

Permalink Mark Unread

"And Nar Shaddaa has a big Exchange presence..."

She leans into him more and kisses his neck. Her hands move to his side, continuing her light sharp touches.

Permalink Mark Unread

"There are more planets in the galaxy than Nar Shaddaa and Telos..." He trails off, raising his hands to hold her waist, thumbs brushing up and down. "Not Hutt, not Republic..." 

Permalink Mark Unread

His belt is an obstacle she will overcome. She starts working his neck with just a hint of sharp teeth.

"Lotsa colony worlds in need of supplies."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Mmm... I've got... contacts in the Rim," he admits. He drags his hands up her sides, thumbing the underside of her breasts through her suit. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Likes his hands. His touch. She closes her eyes and bites a little harder, as a treat.

"Trustworthy?" she asks, as she finally unlatches his belt and runs her hand down, palming him through his tight tight pants.

Permalink Mark Unread

-he presses up into her hand, "Hhha, no one's- trustworthy-" he squeezes! 

Permalink Mark Unread

Mmmwrong, but - she licks his neck and then leans back up to catch him into a heady kiss.

"Can trust me," she whispers against his lips, just as she slips inside his pants and wraps around his cock. "I take care of what's mine."

Permalink Mark Unread

His eyelids squeeze shut and he moans, muffled in her lips. A shudder runs down his body, and he twitches in her hand, precum pebbling at his tip and wetting her fingers.

Permalink Mark Unread

Good boy. She swallows his moan and begins to move her hand. Feels so good under her. Her Atton. Must be so ache and pain from the day. She kisses him again, then shifts her weight, pushing back and moving down his body to settle over his crotch.

- she licks his tip, lathering her tongue with his cum.

Permalink Mark Unread

His hands slip to rest to either side, holding himself to the floor. Almost all of his attention is focused intently on her tongue, her hands, her body against his. 

He can be good. For her. Anything for her. Anything she wants.

Permalink Mark Unread

Everything. She takes him. Drawing him out, with her hands and mouth and teeth and eventually, takes him inside. Riding him hard and fast, holding him down. He's hers. She takes and takes and takes. Filling up that empty space inside her with him and his body and thoughts and feelings and -

Permalink Mark Unread

Everything is hazy and filmy except for her and him. Warmth and closeness, and silence. There's nothing in his head except warm, post-coital relaxation and the bliss of holding her in his arms. 

Whatever's going on outside can just shut up for now. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Nothing is going on outside. Just nose kisses and happy snuggles.

Permalink Mark Unread

It's not his problem, anyway. 

Permalink Mark Unread

She buries her face against his neck. "You smell," she says, very muffled.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Oh yeah?"

Permalink Mark Unread

Licks! Licklick. "Sooo bad."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Fresher's just over there," he doesn't gesture, but she probably knows where it is anyway. "Could take a sonic before you go." 

Permalink Mark Unread

But licks!

"Maybe I like it."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Mmm..." He runs his fingers through her hair, "You gonna like it after I spend another five hours in the cage?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Probably. But the others might riot and space you."

Permalink Mark Unread

"After all the hard work you put in saving my ass?" 

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She squeezes said ass. "You call what I just did saving?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Oh yeah," he rolls his hips under her, "It's what all the kids are calling it these days." 

Permalink Mark Unread

She laughs and kisses him, then continues into giggles.

"Need to get back to work anyway. Uthuar will probably appreciate me not smelling like sex and cage-boy sweat."

Permalink Mark Unread

"The cage sweat would be new, at least," he admits. "Alright," he levers himself up under her, helping her to her feet. "Ugh," he adds, gingerly stretching out his back. 

Permalink Mark Unread

She hups! And then wraps around him to press her fingers deep into the muscles of his lower back.

"You're so old."

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"I'm in my prime," he counters, wincing as she digs her fingers in, "Normally people don't lie on the floor."

Permalink Mark Unread

"It was either the floor or on our feet. I doubt you could hold me for long."

She moves her fingers and finds a solid knot - presses her fingers deep.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Mmmmn," he arches into it, "Fuck- right there-"

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She watches his face, hungry, and presses her thumb right there, massaging it out.

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He hisses, slumping into her a bit. 

"...mmn. Thanks," he kisses her shoulder, "S'better." 

Permalink Mark Unread

"Selfish. Watching you squirm is my favourite pastime." She leaves him with one last snuggle, then pulls him over to the fresher. "Only pastime?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"So no double career as a masseuse?"

He pulls up behind her just outside the sonic, pulling off his tunic and shirt and sliding his pants and underwear down, shoving the whole ensemble into the sink and setting the thing to give them a quick clean. It won't be as thorough as a sonic clothes cleaner, but better than nothing. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Sharra, having taken off her suit and underwear already, throws her bra and tank top into pile.

"Traveling masseuse? That could be our big break. Though all the others I've heard of were also offering sex as part of the service..."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Guess I'll have to be on-guard for anyone who tries to push for that, then." Into the sonic with them! 

Permalink Mark Unread

Sonic sonic sonic. Clean clean clean. More kisses and a little bit of grabby. Since it's right there.

Permalink Mark Unread

Well, so it is. He does some grabbing of his own. 

Some time later, they emerge from the fresher with clean skin and cleanish clothes. 

"...cage time?" He asks, glancing over at the clock on the console. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Hm. "Better. Bee will be here soon to take over watch till tonight. Unless you think you could convince her to let you stay out."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Unlikely," he shrugs. "You wanted to see that report first? On the freighter." 

Permalink Mark Unread

"Oh, yeah. Let's have a look at what I'll be working with. And our future home."

Permalink Mark Unread

He pulls it up for her, then. 

Apparently, the ship called the Ebon Hawk had drifted into the asteroid belt and was towed into the station to prevent it from crashing into any of the volatile asteroids. Aboard, security personnel found two damaged utility droids, a working protocol droid, and the body of an elderly woman. The utility droids were placed in storage in the hangar bay control room, the body placed into the morgue, and the protocol droid was put to work assisting the lead mechanic, first in assessing the damage to the freighter, and then in his usual work. 

As far as Uthuar could determine, the major issue was that the ship's hyperdrive had been somehow damaged. Not being skilled at fixing hyperdrives, he'd chosen to leave that to the station administration's discretion while he fixed up some damage to the bulkheads and minor issues in the life support system. As it was, the only problem remaining was that one thing he couldn't fix. 

Permalink Mark Unread

"Mmm. Surprised he didn't ask me to have a look at it..." She moves closer to the console, pressing her back against his chest and pulling his arm around her waist. She navigates over to the blueprints. "I've been on a few dynamic-class ships before... he lent me out to the mech," she mumbles, thinking back to- she shakes her head and focuses. "Did he fix the utility droids?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Doesn't seem like it. Should still be in the storage closet in hangar control." 

Permalink Mark Unread

"I'll grab them when I go speak to him," she says, nodding, sends the data to her 'pad, then turns into him. "I'll drop back by soon with a pillow? And another snack."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Grab my cards? Give me something to do while I'm languishing in prison." 

Permalink Mark Unread

"Will do," she says, with a kiss. "I'll get this done quick, maybe even tonight. Tomorrow at the latest. You won't have to suffer too long for your misdeeds."

Permalink Mark Unread

Kiss, "I wasn't going to use it," he grumbles again. "See you tonight, then." 

Permalink Mark Unread

Tonight. One last kiss and then off she goes, pulling her jumpsuit up over her shoulders and zipping it up. The least amount of ire she can collect, the better. Griy will take any excuse to make her life harder, especially after all the chaos. Sharra heads over to the 'lifts, nodding at the few people she passes on the way. No Coorta, thankfully, or any of his minions.

Maybe her luck is finally running true?

Permalink Mark Unread

The dormitory lifts are past the medbay, where the dead woman who'd been found in the Ebon Hawk was left. She  has to pass Griy in security on the way there, but he ignores her, this time.

Permalink Mark Unread

Sharra ignores him too! She's very busy.


...the morgue. Right. She is stealing the woman's probable ship. It feels a lot slimy to not pay her respects, at the very least. And- she looks Attonwards

Permalink Mark Unread

He's probably very bored! If he was there, though, he'd probably tell her to stuff the old woman, she has things to do and she's dead, anyway. 

Permalink Mark Unread

 


Good point.

Sharra moves on past and takes the lift to the dorms.

Permalink Mark Unread

She has to pass through the refectory on her way to the actual barracks, where she receives some waves and she can drop off her and Rand's trash from their meal. Then she can move into the first barracks itself, where Atton's room is just inside to the right. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Hmmm. She digs out his cards, first thing. They're hidden in a little hidey-hole that she only figured out the other day. She doesn't know why he didn't just put his blaster in there. Would have saved them both a lot of grief.

She snatches up his bag, next, and stuffs his pillow inside... and a few change of clothes... and...

Permalink Mark Unread

...there are a few other things in that little hideyhole. Some credit chits, a box of datapads, another box filled with Hutt coins, and a small device of some sort, one she doesn't recognize. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Well. She might as well take them now and stash them in the storage compartment near the hanger... hm. No reason right now for her to be searched, which might change later. Sharra bites her lip and tucks them inside the pillow, then the bag. Annnything else she should grab? She squints around his room.

Permalink Mark Unread

Nothing else yanks her attention like the things in the little nook had. Maybe she should stop by her room and grab her stash of hidden items too, though? While she's here. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Pocket Atton has a point. She doesn't have much, really, just her own Hutt currency and the 'pad she uses for art and music. And her own pillow. She'd just gotten her hands on a new one, no way she was leaving without it. Lastly she stuffs her very few articles of clothing into her own bag and slings them over her shoulder. Nothing to see here, just going to be spending a few days in lock-up!

She heads on back to lift three to make the trek to the hanger.

Permalink Mark Unread

Everyone knows what Atton did at this point, and that she'd be spending a few days sleeping with him up on the Admin level, so she receives no odd looks on her way there. Up on the level in question, she has to walk all the way back to the other end to take lift one down to the fuel depot, and then make her way through the halls and across the catwalk above the fuel lines to reach the hangar bay. 

Permalink Mark Unread

She makes the detour back to lock-up and her suffering boy. And the aforementioned Bee?

Permalink Mark Unread

The aforementioned Bee is sitting in a chair near the security console reading a datapad and ignoring the prisoner. She powers the cage down when Sharra arrives to allow her to pass Atton his pillow and cards. 

Permalink Mark Unread

He gives her a thankful kiss, "Have fun terrorizing the droids." 

Permalink Mark Unread

Kisskiss! "These ones did nothing wrong. Probably. Though I might look into whether they have anything to do with what's going on with the others..."

On top of everything else she's doing.

Permalink Mark Unread

"I'm sure they've done something," he grumbles. 

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Patpat. She opens up his bag, making sure to shield it from the uncaring Bee.

"Want anything else? I forgot to get a snack..."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I'll survive," he shrugs, glancing down into the bag. He raises an eyebrow. 

"You'll be back soon enough, anyway," he says, rather than commenting. 

Permalink Mark Unread

She nods, then shoulders their bags, less her own pillow. "If you put your ass on this, I will destroy it."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Promises," he smirks up at her, taking a seat on his own pillow with hers settled into his lap. 

Permalink Mark Unread

She runs her fingers through his floppy hair, then gives him another pet.

Which is where she leaves him. And Bee. Who she just gives a little wave of thanks.

Permalink Mark Unread

Bee waves back. 

Off to lift 1, now? 

Permalink Mark Unread

Lift 1! And then she will cut through the fuel depot towards 5, hopefully not running into anyone in particular.

Permalink Mark Unread

She passes a single maintenance worker, but they're busy working at a console, and don't do more than offer an absent-minded greeting as she passes. 

The hangar bay, meanwhile, is entirely empty. Up the ramp to the right, the freighter is visible through the window, cream and brown and wearing a few visible patches where something had wrenched it open before it drifted into the asteroid belt. The door leading down into the bay is across the room from the door she'd entered through. Meanwhile, the storage room where the utility droids were reportedly left is to the left of the door. 

Permalink Mark Unread

 

She stares at the ship for a very very long moment. Eyes drifting over it slowly. Not the nicest looking ship she's come across. Obviously been through a lot. A lot a lot. And yet... she's charmed.

The Ebon Hawk. She wonders how it got that name.

She wonders if it'll be a good place to raise children.

Permalink Mark Unread

It's a rugged little ship, but well-made! Maybe it could be a good home. 

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She has a good feeling about it.

Finally, she drags her eyes away from the Ebon Hawk and makes her way over to the storage bay and the droids.

Permalink Mark Unread

The droids are locked up past another door inside, in a little half-dug tunnel into the asteroid at the back of the storage room. Luckily, she has the credentials to open the locked door without any trouble. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Inside, she finds the two droids. One is a T3-series, with their signature circular dome. 

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The other is a familiar T7-series, olive-painted and customized by the hands of a skilled mechanic. 

Both appear to be offline. 

Permalink Mark Unread

 

 

buh???

Permalink Mark Unread

 

Actually nevermind, this one is not offline!

<Little Jedi!> T7-I17 - or Isk, to their friends - whistle-screeches at her, their lens lighting up with the distant speck of white that signifies their active state, <What is little Jedi doing here?!> 

Permalink Mark Unread

Sharra drops her bags and her back hits door. Panic and terror and - she can't breath.

Permalink Mark Unread

The droid rolls up to her and sticks a proboscis into her face, poking her, <Breathe!> they demand. 

Permalink Mark Unread

She's breathing!!!! Too much!!!

"Isk???" she somehow manages to get out. Does that mean - is he - she begins to hyperventilate in earnest. Panic-panic-terror-Atton- she needs to get -

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They poke her again, harder this time, <Your systems are overheating. Run cooling protocols.> 

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- Sharra squeezes her eyes tight and -

goes through the motions of meditation. Calming, calming, there is only - no. Her heart picks up again and she tries to switch tracks

in - in - in - out. In and out. She repeats this. Over and over and over.

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Isk retracts their arm, monitoring the little Jedi's progress as she calms. 

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Behind them, the other droid whistles softly, rolling gently back and forth.

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She opens her eyes and stares at her former master's droid companion.

"Are you okay? I have my tools here with me."

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<Fully functional. Allowed station personnel to believe these droids were both damaged. Look at T3-M4.>

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She nods and follows their orders. "Can you give me a damage report, T3?"

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T3 does so! His back right tread is stuck, in a way Isk couldn't fix with their built-in tools. His internal systems and Isk have fixed most of the damage to his chassis, but he needs an entire new wheel. He can move without it, but only very slowly. 

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Well she can patch the wheel temporarily and give him mostly full functionality, and then head to her workshop and pick up a replacement for the long term. He'll have to be careful though, until then. No high speed menuvours. Or any menuvours at all, really.

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<Understood!> he beeps. He shuffles back and forth, carefully, and beeps happily. 

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Isk is prodding at the bags she'd dropped, <Going?>

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"There's been trouble. My partner and I were going to take the ship and get out of here. There's something wrong with the other droids and a group of the miners have been taking advantage of the chaos. We think they're planning something, maybe directed at me."

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Isk blats, <Assassin droid. Designation HK-50. Still on-station?>

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"...assassin droid?" She stands! And pulls out her 'pad. "HK? That's the protocol droid? Let me—"

She quickly swipes through to the report Atton sliced for her.

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Yep, there it is, hiding in plain sight as a protocol droid. 

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<Based on stupid rust head stupid Jedi built. HK-47. Origins of HK-50 unknown.>

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Stupid Jedi—? Ignoring it.

"Griy assigned the droid to Uthuar, the head mechanic; my boss. I don't know where it's gone from there, but. Why is it here? What's going on? Atton mentioned something about a bounty? But I'm not a Jedi anymore, it can't be here for me."

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<Bounty only demands force-sensitive. This droid was on Republic vessel bound for this station. Republic knows little Jedi is here. Want your help. Assassin snuck on-board.>

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"There are no force-sensitives here. The Council made sure of that. I can't help you."

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<...Assassin droid does not care. Cannot determine force ability.>

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Sharra sighs and closes her eyes. Breathing.

 

"If the assassin is behind the chaos with the mining droids, and the assassin is after me... just makes the current plan when more urgent. Need to fix the Hawk's hyperdrive and get the fuck out of here. No reason to continue killing people if your quarry is elsewhere."

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Isk whistles agreement. 

<Droids will assist,> they tell Sharra, <T3-M4 unable to fix, needed new part. Part has been found now.>

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T3 whistles happily! He trundles a bit to the side to reveal a small box that had been hidden behind him. 

<T3 will fix! Friend Jedi proud of T3!> 

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...cute. She bends to lie a hand on T3 and also take a look in the box.

"What does the Republic need help with?" she directs to Isk.

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T3 chirps happily in response to her hand, his dome wiggling a little under her palm. The box contains a few odds and ends, including a somewhat uncommon part not ordinarily associated with Dynamic-class freighters. A sign of the modifications to the ship, probably. 

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<Unclear. Stupid Admiral told Harbinger to find little Jedi. This droid did not hear why.> 

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"Well. Regardless, I'm not a Jedi and I don't have a connection to the Force, so I wouldn't be able to help anyway." She sighs sharply and does not let her fear and anxiety take hold. "This is what we need to fix the ship?"

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T3 whistles again and Isk beeps a single affirmative beep. 

<Will transfer ownership of ship to little Jedi,> Isk informs her, <Belonged to Stupid Jedi. Inheritance,> they whistle, somehow smug. 

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Not a Jedi.

"Thank you. Make your way down to the ship and get started on the repairs. Do you know how long they'll take? I'm going to go get my partner and collect a few things from my workshop. I'll grab anything you think we'll need."

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<Not long! T3 will be quick! Six standard minutes!>

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"I'll run then," she says, petting him again. Atton wasn't wearing his comm when she left him, and she has all his 'pads here... "If you can live with the patch wheel for a little while, I'll be even quicker."

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<Fast enough,> T3 agrees. 

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<Will take bags,> Isk is in fact reaching out a hook-arm to scoop them up, <Will move faster unburdened.> 

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"...I'm glad to see you again, Isk. I missed you."

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Isk prods her with their hook, <Missed you. You will stay with this droid, this time,> they demand then, drawing out their binary into more words for once, <I taught you better than to be stupid.> Unlike some people.

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Becoming a Sith Lord and trying to take over the Republic kinda stupid?

"Once the drive is fixed, begin start up. My partner is in lock up right now, and getting him out will probably cause commotion. We'll want to be hot and ready to go the moment we land on deck."

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The beep their agreement, and then they roll past her, T3 following in their wake with the box of parts. 

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She is not going to undo everything she's worked all these years for. She is not.

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Sharra gets back to her feet and makes her way back to the lift. They're getting out of here. She's going to collect Atton from his cell, there will be no problems — he's needed somewhere, an emergency, Bee trusts her — and they will make their way to the Ebon Hawk without any trouble and get the fuck out of here.

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There's someone waiting in front of the lift when she enters the room outside. One of the miners, Kove. He has a mining laser in his hand, and a nervous look on his face. 

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She continues into the room.

"Hey, Kove. How's Kelleani? Popped out the little one yet?"

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-he flinches, and raises the laser, pointing it at her. 

"Don't move," he orders, all false confidence. 

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She continues to the lift.

"I'm just going to go see Atton, you can come with me, if you want."

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He growls, shaking the laser at her, "I'll shoot! Stop!" 

The lift opens behind him, revealing another human, Renil, tall and rangy and generally avoided for his hair-trigger temper and cutting words. He also holds a mining laser, and he steps up beside Kove with a scowl, "Useless idiot, hold that straight. Stop moving, Garon. Kove might be a soft sack of shit, but I'll shoot you."

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"For what? You really think Coorta is going to split whatever creds he thinks he's gonna get with you? You know him just as well as I do."

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"He'll split it or he'll regret it," he says, unimpressed, "Now turn around and stop making a fuss." 

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Mrrrrrr.

She turns around. "They're not going to give him anything. They're after Jedi, and I am no Jedi."

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Coorta is in front of her now! He was behind her before, and now he is pointing a laser in her face.

"That so? I heard different." 

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— she only jumps a little.

"If I were a Jedi, this would be going very differently."

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He rolls his eyes, "Barely trained Jedi's still a Jedi. There's a holo floating around, you know, you as a little apprentice and all." 

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She's not going to explain herself to this asshole. "What happens now? You're going to give me up to some assassin droid and, what, be showered in non existent credits?"

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"We're taking you to the exchange. Come on," he steps to the side a little, gesturing for her to move past him, back into the hall leading to the hangar. 

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Alive, then?

She moves quickly, lashing out with her palm and strikea him in the throat. She ducks down immediately and throws herself back and through the other men, into the lift.

Shut!

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No shut! Also there's yet another man in the lift, and her sudden entrance startles him into shooting her in the shoulder! 

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Screaming!

She throws herself into him, and into the wall, with said shoulder. While still more screaming.

SHUT.

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Kove catches the door before it can shut! He also hovers uncertainly in the doorway, unsure what to do next as she and the fourth man scuffle and scream. 

His colleague pushes past him, "Useless," he reiterates, and then he wades into the fight to help subdue her. 

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She KICKS him in the DICK and elbows the other in the FACE.

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-he makes a sort of breathless squeaky noise, staggering to the side. The other one - one of the new guys, he'd come in with the latest fuel pickup from Telos - accepts the punch to the face with a grunt and the crack of broken cartilage, continuing to grapple with her unabated. 

Kove moves in front of the lift console, laser pointed but uncertain where to shoot with all the flailing. 

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She doesn't really know what all happens with the new guy, but she does know that he eventually gets thrown into Kove, and also that her shoulder is PAIN.

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They collapse into a pile in front of the lift controls, struggling to get apart and only making it worse.

With all his minions out of the way, Coorta shoots into the lift! He misses, but he sure is shooting!

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If she WERE a Jedi she would — slam the fucking lift shut!

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-the doors rattle, lightly. Her attackers don't notice, busy untangling themselves and trying to subdue her. 

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Coorta shoots into the lift again! His shot misses once more, but it's closer this time, hitting the ground near enough to her hand to burn a little. 

Renil grabs hold of her before anyone else can do anything stupid, gripping her wrists together in one large hand while his other arm goes around her waist to hold her still. 

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She's still.

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"-right," Coorta lowers his mining laser with a burst of breath, gesturing to Renil, "Come on, we're meeting on the ship." 

Renil half-carries her out of the lift. The other two follow, keeping their weapons trained on her. 

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Her arm hangs limp. She looks at it, numb and ears ringing and dizzy —


she's standing on the bridge, saber clipped to her belt, sirens loud, eyes reflecting the planet below, death

She's not bleeding, at least. Probably she will lose the arm.

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The station walls pass her by as they make their way to the Hawk. One man stays behind to unlock the hangar bay doors, to allow them to leave once the ship is running. The others carry and surround her up the ramp and inside the freighter. 

There's a small medbay a short ways inside. Her most immediate captor drops her on the bed and makes to start strapping her in. The others have a brief, muffled conversation, before one makes for the engine room, and the other moves towards the cockpit. 

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"Nar Shaddaa?" It's the obvious destination.

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"Quiet," says Renil.

 

And then he jerks suddenly upright, a strangled noise escaping his mouth, and falls to the ground.

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A soft whistle comes from just below the surface of the examination table she lies on, and then T3 lifts his dome up just far enough that she can see him.

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"Thank you, T3. Please cut the ties, my left arm is injured."

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Concerned beep! He does as asked, his little soldering attachment serving to slice through the straps. His lens flutters side to side as he takes in her injured shoulder. 

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The mining laser instantly cauterized the wound, but the arm itself is barely hanging on.

"We'll use the straps," she says, still numb. "Help me get it around my chest."

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<Understood,> he beeps, and helps her do that, little manipulator arms helping her hold her arm to her chest and tuck and tie the straps in place.

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Success. Her arm will no longer fall off, for now. If she gets to some kolto in a timely manner, probably she will be fine and regain use of it.

"You fixed the hyperdrive?"

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<Yes!> He beeps a happy affirmative, <Ready to go. Rude man offline in engine room,> he adds, <Eject before leaving?>

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"Yes. We'll drop him in the hanger before we take off." She bends and picks up the man's fallen laser. "Do that and I'll take care of the one in the cockpit. On your way, if you're connected to the stations security, put the station on alert and send the mechanic Uthuar a summary of what just happened."

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There's a shout from the cockpit! And then a crash.

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<Isk in communication,> T3 beeps, <Isk very skilled at offlining rude men!>

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Nothing has changed then.

"Get them both off the ship then, man the turret and shoot anyone that tries to get onboard. I'm going to get my partner."

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<Repair kit!> T3 rolls around the unconscious Rude Man and pokes open a drawer, revealing some - somewhat old, so less effective, but likely still usable - kolto patches. 

<T3 will take rude man to ramp,> he says then, trusting her to look after herself. He grabs hold of Runil and starts dragging him out of the medbay. 

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Sharra grabs the patches and gets moving. She can't exactly put them on herself with one hand, which is why she has an Atton.

She makes her way out of the medbay, right behind T3, and is off the ship and heading back to the lift in the next minute.

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She encounters no one on her way up the ramp to or on her way through the control room!

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Lucky her. Maybe she won't have to kill anyone today.

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The door to the storage room is ajar, but then she'd left it that way when she left to find Atton the first time. 

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She had not, however, left Atton himself there. A bit of an inconsistency, as he steps out from behind some crates inside when she passes.

"Sharra!" 

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There is now a hole in the crates, centimeters to his left.

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-he jerks to the right a few centimeters as the shot lands, widening the space between himself and the shot.

"Sithspit! It's me!" He holds his hands up!

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She drops the laser to the floor. "We have to go. Now."

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"No shit we have to go now, the droids are in full revolt up there," he says, approaching her now. He has both their pillows in hand, acting as impromptu sacks.

"And- your shoulder!" 

He leans down for a better look, hands hovering over the injury. 

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She hands him the kolto patches. "Protocol droid is an assassin. Must have convinced Coorta and his goons to help it grab me."

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He takes them and starts patching her up! 

"The droid? Hells," he huffs, "Not surprised it was a droid behind all the killer droids, but Coorta wouldn't work with one of them. He trusts 'em less than I do." 

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"S'smart. Based on a design of Revan's," she says, mumbling a little. "Impersonated?"

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He nods, "Could have taken a voiceprint and manipulated a holocall," he agrees. "Doesn't matter, really. It had total access to mechanical. Speaking of, I passed mechanical on my way here, seemed like Uthuar had the place locked up to keep the mining droids out. Seems like they've pretty much taken over the station. I didn't see any bodies on my way down here, though. Their lasers weren't even making a mark on the durasteel," he adds, thinking back, somewhat surprised. 

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"Routine to lower the settings if any of their parameters changed. Should be stuck there," she says, shaking her head. "If we go, it should stop. It'll follow, no reason to continue killing."

She takes his arm and starts to pull him back to the ship.

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"-I'm not done!" he squawks, nimble fingers just saving the half-used kolto pack he was setting over her wound. Still, he follows her down the ramp despite his protests. 

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Busy! More pulling and running towards the Hawk. Probably bypassing Coorta and his crew on the way?

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Indeed, and Atton does a double-take as they pass the three of them on the ground outside the ship, "Kove, really? Wouldn't have taken him for it."

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"Creds," is all she has to say to that. Up the ramp they go. "Push off!" she shouts to Isk, once they're inside. "He'll take over once we're clear of the station."

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"Who're you talking to?" 

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A beeped acknowledgement comes over the ship-wide intercom. 

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T3 whistles a greeting, <All rude men ejected!> 

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"Oh. Joy, more droids." 

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Onwards to the cock-pit. "T7-I17 and T3-M4. T7 was Revan's droid companion when I was a padawan. I trust them."

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"Oh, sure, if it was Revan's companion," he mutters. "And stop moving and let me put this patch on, damn it!" 

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Just then, the ship lifts off with the barely-there feeling of subtle vibration. 

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- she stops, because this will be quicker. "You said he saved the Republic."

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"-yeah." 

He takes the opportunity to stick the patch back on, over her wound, holding it there until it properly sticks. Conveniently it means he doesn't have to look at her just now. 

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<Require navigation charts to escape asteroid belt,> Isk calls over the comm. 

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"-I have those," he huffs, "Hold this on," he demands of her, "Need to go enter them into the navigation computer."

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She nods and does as he demands.

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And he vanishes down the hall to go do that. 

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<Rude,> T3 diagnoses. 

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Terrified-guilty-suspicious-betrayed-on the edge of a wide fathomless void about to-


"No," she says instead. Everything starts throbbing, her arm finallyfinally screaming in agony. The lights of the Hawk pierce into her brain and everything goes sharp-hard. "Where. Am I need," she manages to get out.

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T3 whistles concern! 

<Friend Mechanic damaged,> he rolls over to her, settling under her good arm, <Charging station?> 

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"...Isk on the turrets?"

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<T3 will check! Friend Mechanic sit!>

He trundles out from under her arm and down the hall to communications and the cockpit.

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Sharra. Starts to make her way over to the medbay.

Pain.

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A short time later, Isk appears at her side. 

<Little Jedi,> they prod her carefully, <T3-M4 on turret. Will stay. Damage report.>

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"I felt it. The Force."

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She receives a short blat and another prod, <Damage to chassis,> they clarify, before adding, <This droid cannot advise on Force.>

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"It's been twenty-one years, Isk."

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<Work-around for damaged wiring?> they suggest, after a moment, <This droid did nothing. Attempt cooling protocols?>

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She struggles not to immediately follow the order.

"Where is he?"

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<Unknown Regions. Ordered T3-M4 to bring ship back. Sought Sith. Stupid Jedi,> they add, <Found Sith before. Became Sith.> 

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She doesn't understand. Understands the words and the meaning, but -

"I'm going to pass out."

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Beep! <Will guard.>

They nudge her towards the medbay bed, which she will be able to fall on without effort. 

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Yeah.

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She feels worry. Foreign, and fuzzy, but there.

She feels a hand brushing through her hair. 

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Thirsty. Leans into her Atton. Wanting more.

"Don't leave," she mumbles, tongue thick and dry.

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The hand pauses. 

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She opens her eyes and looks up at him. "We'll run."

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He keeps petting her.

"We're running, actually," he tells her, "Well, not right now. Right now we're orbiting a moon a few systems away." 

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She tucks herself closer to him. "Knew you'd get us safe."

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"Ship's got a lot of quirks," he shifts on the bed, sliding an arm under her, "But I know what I'm doing." 

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Presses so so so close into him. Face against his chest. Safe.

"Best pilot in the galaxy," she echoes.

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He tightens his grip, "With a pilot like me and a mechanic like you, we'll really be going places. No one'll be able to compete." 

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Buries her nose into him and breathes deep. Hers. Isn't leaving her. But...

"The Republic and the Exchange are looking for me. Don't know why."

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"...did someone put out a bounty on you or something?" 

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"He – Coorta – said he had a holo of me from when I was a padawan. So."

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He nods, "So the Jedi bounty. The rumours paint that reward pretty high." 

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...she nods.

"I'm not a Jedi."

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"Sure, but if there's holos of you as a padawan kicking around, it's not like anyone's gonna care that you're not part of the order anymore. They'll show off the holos and they'll show off you and then they'll take their cash." 

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True. And yet.

"I mean," she starts. Stops. Closes her eyes and breathes in him. She can do this. "After the war. I was exiled. And. The Council cut me off from the Force."

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"-didn't know they could do that. Which war?" 

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"Mandalorian. It was news to me then too."

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"Shit, how old are you? I mean, I know you're near-human, and Jedi age weird- but if you don't have the force-"

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"Thirty-six? Or thirty-five. One of those. I'm sephi, amongst other things."

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"Huh. Explains the hair. So you were with Revan, then, back before everything." 

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She nods against his chest.

"He was my master. I haven't seen him since — since the war." The end of the war.

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He- squints down at her. 

"You were- you're General Vikaré." 

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Nod.

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"Pretty sure you're supposed to have died at Malachor. In all the official files, I mean." 

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"I was comatose for months, after. When I woke I was blind and deaf and — the Force was gone. I couldn't reach it. I had to relearn how to breath and see and touch..." She curls up small against him, remembering. "It was over a year later that I found myself in front of the Council."

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He shifts to accomodate her, but, "Hang on, I thought you said the Council did it? Broke your connection." 

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"They — must have. They did. What we, what I did at Malachor was the antithesis of everything the Force was. Is. Jedi can reach over vast distances in times of need. They didn't deny it."

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"-well that's even more terrifying, then. Doing that halfway across the galaxy," he shakes out his free wrist. "But anyway, it's not like anyone really knew what that thing was going to do, right?" 

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"We built it. We knew."

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"Mm." 

He accepts this.

"So. Everythug and their mother thinks you're a Jedi. You're not a Jedi, but it doesn't really matter, because they're after you anyway. Not like 'not being a Jedi' is something you can prove to every bulkheaded idiot you meet." 

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"You're right. People don't just stop being Jedi — force users. I've never heard of it outside myself. Anything I say will just be ignored, especially with my face out there." But. She continues. "There was a moment, in the lift, when I was fighting Coorta and his men. I think... maybe I'm wrong. I was in pain and high on adrenaline, but. I think it was there. The Force. Just for a split moment..."

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"...don't Sith use pain to make their force shit more powerful?"

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"...not something I ever learned. But that sounds plausible. I always had trouble controlling my emotions, and that made my connection to the Force powerful. Unstable, but powerful. I spent a lot of time in meditation. I can see how pain would act similarly."

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"So do you want to try it again?"

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"No."

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"You sure?" 

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"I hurt so many people. I've. They did it for a reason. At this point I've lived more of my life without. I don't. I can't."

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He nods, "Okay then."

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She reaches up to touch his jaw. Needs to shave.

"So we run. Sell this ship, they know we have it now and we could get a lot of credits for it. Then... just you and me?"

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"Sounds good to me." 

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There is an irritated beep from the hallway! 

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She kisses him, then turns to look out to the doorway.

"If you're going to eavesdrop and have opinions, you should just come inside, Isk."

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They will do just that, then! 

<Not leaving without this droid,> they tell Sharra.

<Ship difficult to trace,> they add. <For smuggling. Comm scramblers. Fast. Many licenses. Compartments. Change paint? Change name?> 

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Atton's eyes narrow, "Right, and the droids," he grumbles. 

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"Isk, I understand where you're coming from. I appreciate everything you did for us on the station, things would have gone a lot worse if not for you and T3. But it's been twenty years. I'm not a padawan anymore. Not a child. I can't help you or the Republic."

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They blat, <This droid does not care. Will stay with little Jedi.> 

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She closes her eyes, slightly overcome with anger, frustration and pain. Then:

"Pick a new name. I'm not a Jedi anymore and I haven't been for a very long time."

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<Little sunspot,> they say, and then they reverse out of the medbay door. 

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Sharra shakes her head and tucks back against her Atton. "How's my shoulder? Am I getting a fancy new robotic arm?"

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"It's fine. Could have done with a dip, probably, but it'll heal. You'll have a scar." 

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"Terrible. No droid lover for you."

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"Hmm, bionic arm strength..."

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Giggles!

She wraps around him more and squeezes, as much as she can with one arm.

"I love you."

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"I. Uh."

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She kisses him. Pulls his face close and holds him gently. "You're mine. Don't need to say anything. I just wanted you to know."

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 He leans into her hands.

"Uh."

He clears his throat.

"Bit early for that, isn't it?" 

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She doesn't roll her eyes, and just kisses the side of his mouth. "Do you want me to take it back?"

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"I mean, not if you don't want to," he kisses the side of her mouth. 

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"I don't," she responds, kissing him properly. "I love you and you don't need to say anything. My love isn't contingent on anything. Just is."

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Kiss. He clears his throat, "Okay then. Uh. Moving on?" 

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"Go check out the dorms? Make sure everything is comfortable and clean enough for us. I don't want to stay in the medbay for much longer."

And it'll give him some time to freak out in private.

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"Oh, sure, yeah. See how they're laid out, move some stuff around. They're probably set up for crew style sleeping," he kisses her and then rolls out of the bed.

"Oh, water," he hands her the cup that was sat on the counter nearby, "And food," he hands that over too.

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Her all consuming thirst makes itself known again.

Water.

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Water! There is more available from the sink, if she turns the setting to water instead of sonic.

She'll be left alone for at least a few minutes, if she wants a bit of time to decompress. 

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Yup. She refills her water a few times, pokes a little at her shoulder and just.... listens to the quiet thrum of the engines. Everything is fine. They're safe. Nobody can find them.

Peaceful.

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"-THE FUCK!" 

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Sharra is up and out of the medbay in the next moment. Blaster? He must have brought it —

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If he did, it's probably on him. His voice continues to echo towards her from the starboard dormitory.

"-what kind of fucking Jedi bullshit is this."

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Master?


Sharra is at his side, body aching and ALERT.

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There is an old woman in the starboard dormitory, sat calmly upon one of the bunks, legs crossed, back straight. She wears a dark brown cloak over robes of a familiar kind, though perhaps not exactly the most standard style for a Jedi. 

At the foot of her bed, the 'protocol' droid HK-50 lies in pieces, cut cleanly in half by what could only be a lightsaber.

"-ah," says the intruder, interrupting her companion's latest flailing, "And here you are."

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Atton makes a frustrated noise, high in his throat. He has his blaster out and pointed at the woman. 

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Sharra itches to take his arm, step in front of him, guard. She doesn't, stays out of his way, clear of his blaster. He needs space.

"...I don't know you," she replies, moving to the side so they're not looking at Atton. Breaking the line of sight.

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She folds her hands over each other, obligingly following her movement away from the boy.

"Are you sure?" 

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Sharra stares, takes her in.


"I don't know you," she confirms.

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"Mm. You will come to know me, then." She puts one hand to her chest, "I am called Kreia. I am an exile, like you."

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"You're an undead Jedi is what you are," Atton growls, turning to Sharra, "She was definitely dead! Cold, not breathing, the whole shebang. She was in the morgue for three days.

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Eyes on the Jedi.

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She continues focusing on Sharra.

"I spent those days in a death-like trance. This machine," she gestures to the droid at the foot of the bed, "Wished harm on myself, and on you. In order to survive my first encounter with it, I chose to let it believe it had killed me." 

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"Kreia," she says. She resists the urge to look down at the droid. "The bounty?"

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"Yes. I was once a Jedi. Records remain of my appearance, then, records which this machine was able to use to recognise me. I do not think it sought me, however; I was a more opportunistic target."

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"Kreia isn't a name I know..." But. Memory rings. "Arren Kae? She was one of my master's teachers."

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She nods, slow and thoughtful, "That name was once mine. I taught your master; what little he learned from me was once my greatest achievement."

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Okay. That's. Something. She needs to deescalate this.

"Thank you for taking care of the droid and... I'm glad you're safe. Do you need healing? We have kolto."

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She smiles, "I am well. It was not expecting me, and my days of trance healed what injuries I had."

She gestures to Sharra's shoulder.

"And your own injury?"

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"It'll heal." She pauses then. Finally checking Atton, then meeting her gaze again. "We're orbiting a moon right now, but we can take you where you need to be in a few days."

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Atton meets her eyes when she looks to him, then returns to watching the old woman with her.

"We can trade the ride for killing that bucket of killer bolts," he agrees, "But I'm not carting an ancient Jedi around the galaxy." 

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She keeps her focus on Sharra.

"Are you certain you wish me to leave? You may need guidance, as the force returns to you. I can provide that guidance, if you wish; I have done so many times before."

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"I'm not — how — that's not happening." Breath! Sharra breathes. Panic coming back. "What do you know."

Was she part of the Council? She doesn't remember her. She wasn't there? Could she have been?

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"I can feel it; can't you? The currents of the force, answering your command as you fought those fools. Your connection is frail, for now. Thin. New. But it will only grow, with time." 

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"No."

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A small smile tilts her lips, "You would prefer to ignore it? To reject it? All the power of the force? All it's guidance?" 

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"Hey," Atton takes just a step, in front and to the side, "She said no, lady. Leave off." 

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Sharra places her hand on his lower back.

"If you know me, you know why I was exiled. I have no need or want of the Force. I have commited atrocities by way of it. I will not."

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"You can ignore it, if that is truly what you wish. You have that luxury. Though you can touch the force, it cannot touch you. In your exile, you have a unique freedom." 

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She squints, slightly. "You seem to know a lot about it. You weren't on the Council when I last met them."

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She bows her head, "I was not. I have, indeed, never been on the Council. I have met others in circumstances similar to yours, however." 

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Blink. "The Council has done this before? Or after."

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"There are other circumstances through which one may be severed from the Force."

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She feels pulled in circles. Kreia's words at once confusing, but also clear.

"The Force isn't everything." Beat. "I mean, obviously it is, but being one with the Force doesn't have to define everyone. Shouldn't."

She sighs, so fucking tired, and presses firmly against Atton's back. "You must be hungry. I'll bring you something to eat, and once we've all rested we can talk of the future."

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"Mm," she has that tiny smile again, "Indeed, it has been quite a while since I last ate. I will remain here, and await your return." 

She settles in on the bunk, closing her blind eyes to meditate.

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Atton is scowling, but he does at least reholster his blaster. 

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She runs her hand down his back, out of sight from the other woman, then turns. Her heavy boots loudly marking her exit... she only doubts that she will hear him follow a minuscule amount.

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There's a moment where it seems he might not follow... but no, he turns and stalks after her, his boots making softer noises in her wake. 

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T3 tilts his dome to look at them as they enter the central hub of the ship, releasing a concerned whistle.

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Isk pokes their dome out of the hall leading up to the cockpit.

<Intruder?> they demand. 

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"If that's what you call Revan's old Jedi Master. She's calling herself Kreia, now. Do you remember her, Isk? I never met the infamous Arren Kae." She pauses. "Which might have been on purpose..."

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Isk deets thoughtfully to themself, <Was,> they agree, <Smartest thing Stupid Jedi did. Careful, Little Sunspot.> 

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"So I'm right to be worried, then," Atton grumbles behind her. 

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Sharra turns, instinctively reaching out to him.

"She was controversial. But I don't know exactly why..." she looks to Isk again?

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<Sought knowledge. Curiosity. Dark Side. Stupid Jedi worried for other reasons, though,> they note, <Persuasive. Manipulative. Always plans.> 

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-he takes her hand.

"Isn't that their MO? Plans within plans, persuasion and manipulation." 

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"...it's one part of being a Jedi. Not the whole of it and some lean more that way than others." She squeezes his hand and thinks. "She was found on this ship - the first time. Did either of you see her then?"

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<Not this droid. Entered ship to escape battle on Harbinger. Did not see her.>

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T3 beeps a negative, <Old Jedi was not on ship before Harbinger!> he insists. 

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"You mentioned Harbinger before... Republic ship?"

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Affirmative tweet! 

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<Sent to look for Little Sunspot,> Isk adds.

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"Which suggests that she was on the Harbinger. It's not unusual for a Jedi to travel that way, and keeping her presence hidden would have been a smart move, considering the bounty." But. She looks at Atton. "Did she say anything before I stumbled in?"

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"Just, you know, "About time you found me,"" he makes a credible attempt at mimicking her voice, "Then she ignored me." 

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She can't help the smile at the mimicry. "No accounting for taste," she replies.

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She looks around the area. "Sadly we can't kick her off the ship here. Jedi can survive for a little in no atmo, but this is a little excessive..."

She thinks aloud. "Stay here for a few days, take inventory, heal a little, and try and get off the radar of anyone that's looking. Then we find a busy backwater no place planet and get our feet under us. She can hop off there and find her own way."

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Atton sighs, "Good enough for me," he nods. 

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Isk blats, <Did not explain, before. Harbinger attacked. Attackers came from Sith ship, ship was attacking Hawk.> 

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T3 beeps agreement, <T3 not sure what Sith wanted. Maybe Sith know Ebon Hawk was Friend Jedi ship? Maybe Sith want Friend Jedi?>

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Wait what.

"Sith."

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<Sith,> T3 tweets agreement, <Ships from last war,> he adds.

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"Revan's Sith? or, Malak's, I guess." 

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<Human male,> Isk relates, <Grey skin, blind eye, scarred.> 

Actually, they have a recording. 

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A man floats in a kolto tank, his eyes half-lidded and apparently unseeing. Well, one of them certainly is, being as blind-white as Kreia's eyes are, but the other is glazed and unmoving as well. His skin is pale, perhaps grey as Isk had said, and cracked and pocked and crevassed by innumerable scars. He seems made up more of them than actual skin, as the painful lines and cracks cover every visible part of his body. 

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"...Yikes," Atton offers, staring, "The hells happened to him?" 

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Stars.

"Don't know him," she mumbles, staring at the holo. "But he might have been a child when I left... or. I just don't recognise him with. Everything going on there."

She has no idea what's going on there.

"Humanoid male. I don't know of any humanoid speices that look like that... did the Harbinger get any data from the tank?"

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<Took copy to give to Network Jedi and Stupid Admiral. Could not tell if dead or alive,> they swap their projection for a readout of the data instead.

He was, in fact, more scar than flesh, and not only on the surface. It's as though he had been ripped apart from every angle, and somehow been pulled back together. By the Force, presumably, because it's hard to imagine any other way it could have happened. 

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"Network and Admiral?" But actually she isn't paying attention to that. "Fuck."

All the fucks in the entire fucking galaxy!

"How is he alive??" He can't be alive!!!

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"Jedi bullshit?"

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T3 beeps, projecting a still image of a woman for Sharra's benefit, since Isk is busy. 

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<Network Jedi,> he offers, then, <Friend Admiral!>

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"Sith bullshit," she amends. Sharra blinks at the other holos. At the woman in particular. She seems... "Familiar. Name?"

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Isk spells the name out for her, grudgingly, <B A S T I L A . S H A N.>

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"Sure," he mumbles, in response to her statement. 

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She steps closer to him and presses her back against his chest. "Right. She was an initiate. Rhae made me teach a handful of classes at the academy when I was a padawan. I think she bit someone. Cute kid."

And yet her eyes are drawn back to the Sith.

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His records are still scrolling down.

<Found Dead Sith in ship with Ebon Hawk. Was attacking. Captain thought was derelict. Dead Sith brought to medbay, Sith Assassins sneak on Harbinger.>

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Atton wraps his arms around her waist, "So, Mr. Sleeps-With-Vibroblades there wakes up in the medbay and kills everyone there, and the assassins go through and kill everyone he doesn't get to first," he assumes. 

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"...are we sure Kreia didn't come by way of the same ship? It would explain why they were both injured, if they fought."

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<Could be,> Isk agrees. 

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"You think the old woman's a Sith?" 

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Does she?


"No? She doesn't look like what I imagine a sith would look like. Though I can't exactly feel her..." She looks up at him and squeezes his arms. "Does she feel like a sith to you? You have any Force sensitivity."

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He- makes a face, "Me? I'm no Jedi." 

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"I know that. Obviously. But you can feel the Force, even if you can't do much with it. I feel you in my head all the time." Usually during sex, but she won't say that aloud.

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-he lets go of her, "I- no. That's crazy, I don't have the Force." His face isn't panicking but he definitely is. "You're just- I thought you didn't have the Force anymore? How would you know?" 

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"I. Guess I don't? I'm sorry, I thought it was... I thought it was a thing unspoken between us."

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"I don't know anything about that." 

He takes a step back.

"I'm- going to go check the other dorm. Make sure there's no other stowaways." 

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Sharra nods. Wants to reach out to him, but he's obviously... she can't feel him. He's closed himself off.

"Could you unpack our bags, too? I'll bring you some food when it's ready."

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"Yeah, yeah, I can do that," he shifts his heading, instead moving towards the cockpit where he and Isk had left their stuff. 

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Sharra moves over to the kitchenette so he doesn't have to be awkward when he walks back through the room.

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Which he does shortly afterwards, lugging their pillows and her bag through to the starboard dormitory. 

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<He is lying,> Isk says, once he's passed out of sight. They say it in a little known dialect, though, because he probably hasn't passed out of earshot.

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She hasn't spoken Zaldryian in... well. Since she last time saw them. But she understands it just fine.

"I know," she replies in the non-binary dialect. "I don't think it's— we have other things to think about, right now."

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<Yes,> they agree, then assure, <He will tell eventually.>

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<T3 convince him?> The younger droid offers, cheerily ominous. 

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Sharra can't help a little laugh. "No, baby. If he wants to talk about it, he can come to the decision himself." She looks through the stores of food. "Is this all the food?"

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T3 offers an apologetic boop, <T3 travel alone a long time.>

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Hm. Is there at least enough for three or four days?

"I was imagining Rhae might have had a stockpile somewhere, that's not on you."

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<Some food not deteriorate!> So saying, T3 rolls carefully out of the central hub towards the cargo hold!

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Sharra follows! "How long have you been by yourself?"

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He gives a short beep, calculating, then, <Two standard year cycles, two hundred seven standard day cycles.>

In the cargo hold he trundles between a few stacked crates until he finds what he's looking for. He taps it with an extended arm. 

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"Where were you two standard year cycles, two hundred seven standard day cycles ago; can you mark it on the star map?"

She peeks through the crates!

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The crates she peeks at mostly claim to contain ship parts and fuel canisters, though a few of them are unlabeled, and one lidless crate seems to hold unused sheets and other linens. 

The one T3 points her to contains shelf-stable food items! Powdered soup mixes, spices, some ration bars, dehydrated meats, fruits, and vegetables, and grains. 

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T3 beeps a negative, however. 

<Information not accessible.>

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— Sharra knows exactly what to make with this. She spent years on a ship with her master, making due with that they had. The Jedi Order wasn't known for their generosity with credits. Usually Rhae would keep them well stocked, but sometimes...

Sharra looks down to T3 and frowns. "Oh. Um." What was the code? "... probably I can't ask either of you to remind me of the secret passphrase."

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He deets, <T3 remember something! Not location, but message! Friend want to see?> 

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"Yes, absolutely. And if it's not already in Zaldryian, could you translate it? We still haven't properly processed the ship."

And with an unknown Force User nearby...

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<Message in [Zaldryian]!> he assures, before projecting an image from his lens:

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"Padawan," says Rhae Ryen's image, his eyes meeting hers directly despite the fact that he's a recording.

His pale hair is longer than she's seen it since before the Mandalorian wars, and his eyes are pale as well, the blue of the holoimage masking any colour but also lacking any glow one might expect in a Sith's eyes. He wears a dark hooded cloak over pale tunics, and she can just glimpse the hilt of a saber on his belt. 

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"It seems T3 has succeeded in finding you where I did not. Or perhaps it was a coincidence, as much as those occur for those of us connected to the Force. Though, I suppose, it is possible you believe you are not. Is this the case? I cannot hear your answer, but my study into your fate suggests it is so." 

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- she scrunches her nose. He would say that.

"There's no such thing as coincidence," she echoes him. "Even if I can't be purposefully guided by it. Everyone else is."

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He smiles.

"I've looked into your case. To truly cut someone off from the Force requires the Dark Side. It is not, therefore, something the Jedi Council could do. It is, however, possible to place blocks within a person's mind, to prevent them from hearing, seeing, sensing the Force. This is what I believe has happened to you." 

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...this is. Her brain just kind of stops. Confused, uncomprehending, not moving forward.

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He pauses, folding his hands in front of himself. He appears to be giving her time to think, or at least to set aside what he'd told her for now. 

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She literally can't think through that. She sets it aside to try to shift through never later.


"Where are you?" she asks instead.

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He nods, "You're wondering where I am. I cannot tell you that yet; you are needed where you are, more than you are needed by me. Further, were you to seek me out now, there are those who would follow you through no fault of your own. Should they discover where I have gone, and meet our enemies here, the results would be disastrous." 

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"I don't understand why they're seeking me out, or how they know I'm alive. I've been off the grid for twenty years. I can understand how you would know I'm alive, but everyone else..."

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"Yes, unfortunately, I am not the only one from your past who has sought you out. At least two others, whom I know of, have kept track of your movements over the years of your exile. My old Master is one of these; you may have already met her. If so, I would remind you to be wary of her. While she is a skilled combatant, and wise in the ways of the Force, she remains a creature of great ambition. Listen to her words, yet take what she tells you with caution. Think it through. She will respect you better for it, and you will be better off." 

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Sharra can't help but look in the direction of the other woman, frowning.

"Well, at least you're not telling me to run away screaming." Hm. "She kept track of me because of my connection to you? That seems... unlikely." Why unlikely? Rhae - Revan - was one of, if not the most powerful Force user in the galaxy, or at least this corner of it. But. Hm. "I'll be mindful, master."

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"The other is very much a figure from your past, and an unpleasant chapter of it. Atris, master of the archives at the temple on Coruscant, has watched your movements for some time now. I do not know her motivations; she is a strange one. I sensed deep emotion within her, though she held back in my presence. Many Jedi must regulate themselves carefully in my presence, however, so I cannot draw many conclusions." 

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Oh. Atris. Ugh. Complicated emotions. Complicated memories.

"...I suppose that makes sense. She always did have a weird thing for me." Understatement.

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"Perhaps she is still bitter that I took you for my Padawan before she could make her bid." 

He smiles, not a little smugly.

"At any rate, I am sure she will appear sooner or later, and I cannot offer you any advice there."

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Sigh. Deep deep sigh.

"Seems likely she told the Republic where I was... which doubtlessly leaked to the... Sith," she says the last with a face. "Sith, master? You."

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He sighs.

"I still do not know what I was thinking. That is, I know what took me on this journey the first time, but not what occurred that I returned a conqueror. A Sith. I am not sure I will ever know. My memories of the years I was fallen are lost to me.

"I am sorry to have shamed you this way." 

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Does she feel shamed? She's hardly had time to processes the last - however long it's been. But this.

Furious. Guilty. Terrified. A deep longing and loneliness. Emptiness. She hasn't felt the presence of her master in so long. She should have known.

And shame? Yes. She's ashamed of him.

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She can't stop the tears that fall.

"I miss you."

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His expression softens.

"In time, you will know how to find me. You will regain your skill, and be strong enough once again to face the enemies I have found here, past the edges of known space. I have every faith in your tenacity." 

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She doesn't believe it. Even when she has so much faith in him and his words and he's always right. Always been a beacon of truth in her head. Up on his pedestal. His throne. This is. He's wrong.

"I'll try. If you need me. Always."

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He reaches out to her, as though to touch, "When my memories were taken from me, and I had to begin anew, it was my bond with the woman who has since become my wife, and the support of friends I made throughout my journey, which made my training possible. I encourage you to look for similar bonds. This was always your greatest strength, after all."

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She closes her eyes, and images she feels his touch. And thinks of Atton.

"I don't think it's quite that simple, master. I'm not as socialised as I used to be," she says, a little wry.

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"Have faith, Padawan. All will be well." 

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She feels him. Padawan.

"You keep forgetting the promotion you gave me."

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He chuckles, "You will see me again soon, my Padawan. The Force is with you." 

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The holoimage flickers off. 

<Friend Jedi made many holos!> T3 chirps at her. 

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"He always did like the sound of his own voice."

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Amused deet! 

<Friend make food now?>

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Right. She looks down at her haul of foodstuffs.

"Better. Atton may be upset now, but if I don't feed him he'll start ripping off pieces of the hull with his teeth."

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Alarmed noises! <Rude Man cyborg? Metal-eating species?!> 

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"I've always suspected," she says, smiling, then makes her way back to the galley. "How's your wheel? There should be some replacements in the hold, knowing Rhae."

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Thoughtful whistle, <No replacement in hold, need to buy new parts,> he lifts his tread to shake it gently as he rolls after her, <Is okay for now.>

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"I'll take another look at it after I eat and get some rest. Even if it's just to oil it up and replace some bolts."

She gets started on her stew. She hopes Kreia doesn't mind some heat.

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T3 moves to a nearby outlet so he can plug himself in to get some charge while she cooks! She's left alone, otherwise.

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She appreciates it. The ability to turn off her brain and go through the motions, all thoughts of the past and impending future pushed aside.

Spicy spicy stew.

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Atton actually reappears before she finishes plating up.

"Where the hells is the fresher on this boat?" he asks, peering around corners and examining the buttons on the holotable. 

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"Door on your right," she says, still focused on the prep.

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"Oh-" he presses the release next to the door, and-

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"-KARKING SON OF A SITHSPITTING WHORE-" 

There is the sound of a blaster shot, and then silence. 

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!!!!

Sharra drops her utensils and whirls-

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"It's alright! It's dead," he calls, ducking into the small room. 

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What's dead?! Sharra cautiously walks over to inspect.

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It appears to be another HK-50 on first glance! Much more banged up and rusted over than the one currently in pieces in the port dormitory, but it looks to be the same - or a similar - model. 

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Atton is trying to push it out of the fresher as she looks her fill.

"Don't think I can take much more of these surprises," he grumbles, turning to drag it through the doorway, "My heart's gonna give out at this rate." 

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Sharra absolutely agrees, and steps inside to help. "Out the airlock?"

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"Fine by me," he agrees, "Can do the same with the other one while we're at it."

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T3 beeps up, <Wait! Ally. Not HK-50.>

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Sharra blinks. "Ally? This stack of rust??"

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Resigned boop, <Friend Jedi make. HK-47. Damaged before T3 left Friend Jedi.>

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"So- just so I'm getting this straight, 'Friend Jedi' is Revan, right?" 

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Affirmative tweep!

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"And this droid being made by him is good? This 'protocol' droid that is probably also an assassin droid?"

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<Will listen to Friend Sharra!>

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She squints down at the - at HK-47. "It's not listening to anyone anytime soon. It's missing more than half of it's circuitry."

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Beep, <Friend Jedi not have parts to fix. Kept in storage.> 

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"Well, I'm sure there's a nice big crate somewhere in the cargo hold where it can stay. Unless you have objections?" she says to both T3 and Atton.

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"I have objections! Many objections! How do you know you can trust that bucket of bolts, anyway," he waves at T3, "For all we know it was working with the assassin droids!"

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Outraged deep! <T3 friend to Friend Sharra! T3 not hurt!> 

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"I don't think he's working with the assassin droids. And he just showed me a holo of Rhae - Revan," she corrects, "and it confirmed that he sent T3 to look for me. Plus Isk trusts him and I trust Isk."

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Ugh, "Fine, fine, don't say I didn't warn you. Can you take it to the cargo hold on your own? I really do need the fresher. You know, now that it's not being used as storage for a murder droid." 

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"I'll get it done. Somehow."

T3?

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T3 reaches out a magnetic limb and clamps onto HK-47, helping her lift it!

<T3 help,> he confirms. 

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"Great, be right out." 

He ducks back into the fresher, closing the door behind him.

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Sharra rolls her eyes and continues on with the job.

In the cargo hold: "So this is the HK unit the others are based on?"

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<Probable,> T3 offers, <Uncertain. Was famous in hunting circles. Not surprising.> 

He lifts his arm, taking HK with it, until the droid's inactive chassis is hanging over the half-open top of an empty crate.

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Sharra finishes the job and fits it in snug in the crate. Then secures the lid... and locks it with a passcode. She makes sure T3 can see.

"Makes me nervous," she explains, sheepishly.

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Understanding dwoo, <Would approve,> he offers, <HK-47 appreciate paranoia.> 

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She smiles again, and reaches down to run a hand over his 'head'.

"You're a good little bot. I can see why he trusted you so much."

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Happy tweeting! 

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Petpetpet. So cute.

Now, food. Hopefully it hasn't gone too cold in the meanwhile.

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She hasn't been gone long! Also, Atton has the lid half on the pot again, and is poking at the steaming stew within. 

"What is it?" he asks as she enters, glancing over at her. 

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"Zaldrie fire-breath stew. Or as close as I could make it with what we had."

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"Huh. Never heard of it." 

He scoops out a spoonful and takes a careful sip.

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"-hooo," he drops the spoon to fan his tongue! 

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Giggles! She steps up close to him and hands him a cup of water. "The other pot is for the weak."

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He drinks! 

"I'm the weak," he says, morosely. 

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She kisses his spicy lips. "I like 'em weak."

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-he flushes, "Ah. Good?" 

 

He ladles himself a bowl out of the mild pot.

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More giggles. She ladles up two bowls of the spicy. "You wanna eat in the dorm? I'll take this to Kreia and meet you there."

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"Sure you don't want back up?" He takes a - much less painful - sip of his stew, making a pleased noise as he does so, "Hey, not bad." 

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"My crowning achievement. And I'll be fine. I think she wants to catch me alone for a little bit anyway. Putting it off seems hazardous."

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"Right, well. I'll be in the dorm, then." He lifts his bowl in salute, and then backs up and turns into the hallway leading starboardwards. 

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Sharra watches him go. She does really like watching him walk away.


And after a few (half the bowl) sips of her own stew, she picks up the second and makes her way to Kreia.

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Kreia is sat meditating on the floor of the port dormitory. She looks up when Sharra enters, tilting her head in an inquiring way.

"Yes?" 

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"Stew? There's a less spicy version, but I thought you might like the more intense."

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She reaches up to take it.

"Ah... Zaldrie stew. It has been a long time since I smelled this aroma." 

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She passes it to her carefully.

"It was the first meal my master and I shared together. It's not quite the same, we don't have all the ingredients, obviously. But it's as close as I could make it."

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She takes a careful sip from the bowl.

"It is perfectly fine," she is assured, "The Zygerian groundlily powder is an adequate substitute for... whatever it was that Revan put into that stew," she smiles slightly, almost fond. 

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"His most closely guarded secret. I once tried to sneak into his dreams to find out, when I was a padawan. He chased me off with a hoard of dragons."

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She chuckles, "Yes, he always was obsessed with those beasts. I suppose it's a good thing we were never granted permission to visit his homeworld, or he might have made off with one of their eggs." 

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"You think he needed permission?"

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"Hmm. With the most promising young Jedi in my care, and my history of interest in fringe Force theories and practices, we were under rather too much scrutiny. Further, his mother had warned the order against it," she takes another sip of her stew, savoring it for a long moment. 

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"I never met his mother, but we visited his home-world twice, before the war. We changed our appearance, of course. But we spent some time there, learning the culture. It is truly the most breathtaking place I have ever been."

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"Ah," she chuckles again, "And he didn't leave with a dragon?"

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"He did not." But only because the first time he travelled there, he left with an egg. "But he was tempted. I also have some Zaldyrian ancestry, so, if it were possible we would have left with two."

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"Ah! That's quite interesting. You know, they're a very isolated system." She tilts her head, considering Sharra. 

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She lets herself be considered!

"I'm a whole bunch of things, if that helps."

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She hums, "Indeed."

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"Have you thought on my words, while you cooked?" 

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Right. Hm.


She sits down before the other woman, so as to be on her same level. Crosses her legs - for a moment brought back to her past at the academy. She shakes it off.

"A lot has happened today. A lot of information and revelations. I'm pretty overwhelmed."

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"That is quite understandable. After twenty years with little change, so much at once must be quite strange to you." 

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Sharra nods, and shifts a little bit, trying to get comfortable. She has no idea how she used to sit like this for so long. Her ass already hurts.

"You were right when you said I felt it. When I was fighting Coorta and his men. And..." she stops, and considers her words and experiences. "I don't think it was the first time."

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"Your bond with, hm. That boy, who follows you so loyally. He has some measure of Force Sensitivity. As you became closer to him, you will have begun to feel what he feels, I believe."

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She keeps her eyes closed.

"In hindsight... yes. It was my gift, the bonds I could form. I'm sure you know. I would greatly appreciate it you if could avoid mentioning his Force Sensitivity to him. Or others."

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"Hm. How strange, to meet two people who reject the Force in one day," she says, amused, "Very well, I will bow to your wishes in this."

 

"As it is, for now, you will need to be close to him in order to hear the Force. Perhaps over time your connection may be re-broadened on its own, but this will take time."

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She's silent. Thoughts purposefully slow. She can't let herself lose control.

"I'm afraid."

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"What is it that scares you? You must understand your fear, in order to overcome it, and move past it." 

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Slow, deep breaths.

"Pain. Consequences. Judgement."

But is that truly it? Maybe some of it...

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"That is something," she hums to herself, "You must meditate on this. Understand yourself. What is it you fear? Is it the reactions of others? The Council? Your young man? Or is it the danger you, yourself, pose?"

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...she opens her eyes. Wryly amused.

"I see now why Rhae warned me of you."

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"Did he?" she smiles, slightly, "He is an intelligent man. He did refuse to let me meet you, while you were young and untried. It is true that I am not an easy teacher, though my lessons will make you strong."

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"We shall see. It's a big decision. Life altering. To let myself become one with the Force again... my life may not be perfect, but the way I am now, like you said, I am free."

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"Indeed. And perhaps you are even happy, as well. But are you fulfilled? Can you live the life you see stretching ahead of you, your regrets hanging from your shoulders until the day you die? These are questions only you can answer, but if your answer is yes, then I will leave you be. If no...? 

"Then you may have need of me." 

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Sharra accepts this.

"I will meditate on your words," she says as she stands. "The main hold is open to you, as well as any of the contents in the galley. If you wouldn't mind keeping out of the more sensitive areas of the ship, I'd appreciate it."

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She nods, "Very well. Should you need me, I will likely be here. I, also, have much to meditate on." 

So saying, she lowers her head, her breathing settling into a soft, even pattern. 

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Sharra stays for an extra moment, watching, before she picks up Kreia's now empty bowl and departs.

She places it into the galley for later cleaning, refills her own bowl - and another of the mild version, and makes her way Atton-ward.

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He's in the port dormitory, surrounded by parts of bunks, the mattresses leaning against the wall. He's working his way through a datapad in one hand, while his other holds a spoon over the nearly-empty bowl in his lap. 

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Sharra blinks. "What did the Hawk ever do to you?"

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"Uh," he blinks away from the datapad and up at her, "-oh, I'm just-" he waves the datapad around, "Reorganizing the bunks. We can put 'em all together, have one big bed instead of three small ones."

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"Cozy," she says, sosososo fond, and sits down next to him. "I come bearing seconds."

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"Ooh," he reaches out- pauses, "Non-spicy seconds, right?" 

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"'Course, I'm no sadist. Foodwise."

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"Mm," he takes the bowl, "You shoulda taken a mess shift. Could've swapped in the spicy stuff in those thugs' bowls."

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She sneaks her feet into his lap. Cold.

"They don't deserve my spicy. Maybe if I could have just made it for you... and Uthuar. I bet he would love it."

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"Nah, I just bet they couldn't handle it either. Just think of the faces they'd make..." 

He sips his stew, and sets his datapad aside so he can pat her feet with his other hand. 

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Happymmm. She oms her spicy stew and doesn't actually think of the faces they would make.

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He manages a few more bites before the silence gets to him.

"Soo... what was that about a holo of Revan?" 

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She peeks her eyes open - nudges him with her foot.

"I could show you, if you like, but it's in Zaldyrian."

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"...Is that where the soup's from?" 

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She takes a spoonful. "Mmm. Rhae's homeworld. They have fire breathing space dragons."

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"...huh. Yep, that sure sounds like something Revan's homeworld would have." 

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She laughs and nods. "My creator - the man that spliced me together - added a dash of Zaldyrian to my makeup too. Along with a whole lot of other species. I think it's one of the reasons why Rhae was so determined to become my master."

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"...huh."

He nudges her knee.

"No wonder you're perfect, right?" 

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Ookay, maybe a little blush. "You would say that." She tries to fight the blush, and takes a few more sips of stew. "I can just tell you what he said. It's personal, but. I trust you."

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He ducks his head, a little, avoiding her eyes. 

"Well. If you, uh. Want to." 

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"Mmm. I want." She pauses then and puts her bowl to the side. Thinks back to the holorecording. "It's different than a normal holo. With Jedi - well. Not all Jedi, Rhae was the only one that I've encountered that could do it... it's like a two way conversation. He has a way with the Force to know what I'm saying, to a point. Not the direct words, but the meaning behind it."

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"Is that because he's your Jedi teacher, or is it just a him thing?" 

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"Combination of both. I doubt he could do it as well, if I had not been his padawan, and if we hadn't shared such a strong bond. But even then, we don't have a bond now, so there is a large him-thing about it."

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"Okay... so he can just sort of, guess what you're going to say. So it's like you're actually talking to him." 

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She wiggles her toes under his thigh. "Yeah. Force hokey."

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He grasps her ankle, wiggling her a bit.

"So what'd he say?" 

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"He spoke about his theories about my - thing. He doesn't believe that the Jedi Council could do such a thing. Cut me off. Not without some serious delving into the dark side of the Force."

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"...Guess it'd be hard to come down on you for maybe being a dark Jedi if they're using it, too." 

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"There is hypocrisy everywhere, especially then, during the war. But yes. His theory is that I have mental blocks in my mind that prevent me from sensing or using the Force."

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"So you actually still have it, just can't do anything with it. Can you get rid of them?" 

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"Kreia thinks so. She's pretty certain of it, actually. And the fact that I've already been feeling... something, gives more evidence."

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"So... you can be a Jedi again."

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"Jedi is a loaded word, given my history, but yes."

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"Isn't it just- Jedi, or Sith? Light or dark." 

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"They're philosophies, in theory. In practice usually you are Jedi and then very rarely you are Sith. In my case... I was exiled from the Order, so if I were to regain my connection to the Force, I don't think calling myself a Jedi would be-" she stops. Shrugs.

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"So you'd just be- something else. Not a Jedi, not a Sith."

He leans back a bit, against a piece of bunk frame.

"There's gotta be other people like that, right? I mean, besides the old lady."

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"Rhae has always toed that line, which I'm sure isn't a surprise to anyone. Especially given his relationship to said old lady."

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"No kidding. He's gone all no-contact again, though, So- unless he told you how to find him? Can't believe I'm saying this, but I think I'd trust non-Sith Revan over her."

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"He very firmly stamped out any thought of me seeking him out. At least for now. The people hunting me would only follow and adding that fuel to his fire would be disastrous."

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"Oh, great, he's run right into another fire, huh? Of course he has. And of course we're going into it eventually, aren't we? You know I'm just a pilot, right? Half decent security goon? Slicer?" He makes a face as he lists the skills she knows he has. 

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"I know who you are, Atton. I know you could have gotten rid of me and been halfway across the galaxy before I could blink twice."

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"I wouldn't do that to you." 

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She moves herself over to his lap and wraps around him. Pulls him close against her chest.

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He wraps his arms around her waist, as his face goes directly into her cleavage.

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He pulls back a bit, after a moment.

"Look, I- they trained me as a- a killer. A Jedi killer. I was good at it. I was really good at it." His eyes are still on her cleavage! This is safer than eye-contact. "But I'm not that, not anymore. I'm just- a guy. With some skills." 

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Sharra. Doesn't move. Processing.


"They being... the Sith? Revan's." His words from earlier, echoing. "Revan himself."

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"Yeah."

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She thinks maybe her brain is overloaded with everything that she's learned today.

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"-I was with the army, you know, during the Mandalorian wars. I was in training, when Malachor V happened. Never really did any fighting then. Then- then Revan and Malak went off, and when they came back it was all- I. Don't know how to describe it. It was like, it didn't matter what he asked us to do, anymore. He'd always led us right before, you know? If he said the Republic needed conquering, then, well... He called, we came."

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"...yes." If he had asked, she would have done whatever. Did.

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He nods, relief tinging his nearly frantic exposition.

"So you know, it was- when I got recommended for special training, it was an honour. And- he wasn't really training us himself, but he watched, sometimes. Kept up with our progress. I was in the first cohort," he adds, shame and pride warring within him, "I was the best of the first cohort. He couldn't even tell I was there." 

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She licks her lips, and reaches up to run her fingers through his hair.

"You... shielded your thoughts? Your presence."

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"Yeah. It's my signature skill. A Jedi can walk right by me while I'm lining up a shot, and have no idea I'm going to kill them. All they'll hear is- snatches of conversation from nearby, some gamblers in the canteen counting cards, maybe some lustful thoughts. Be what they expect, and you become invisible." 

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...Sharra nods. She can understand that. "I've heard of it before. It was a lesson Rhae brought up, as a thought experiment."

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"Hah. Guess he upgraded it to a real experiment, then."

He tilts his head back some more, still avoiding her eyes, though his gaze lingers on her face.

"I killed a lot of Jedi, with that skill. Did worse to them, too." 

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Her fingers find his jaw and she watches their progress.

"People I knew," she adds.

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"Probably. Some of them were Jedi who left after the war. Revan wanted... It all came down to the Jedi, you know? Soldiers could kill each other, they could bombard planets to their death, but if the Jedi still fought us it didn't matter. Revan knew that. So we targeted Jedi, to kill them, and- to turn them. If we could make them see our point of view, then we'd get one more on our side, and one more off theirs." 

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She hates that she can see his logic. The logic behind all of Rhae - Revan's plans and strategies. She doesn't understand how he got there. But once he's there everything just makes sense.

"You can't truly kill the Jedi. Not when there's a light of hope still lit. Turning them though..." Yeah.

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"They're persistent. And even then- they've got their tricks. I." 

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- she presses her face against his cheek. Just holding him.

"You left," she prompts, after a long moment.

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"Yeah, I left."

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"Because... of a Jedi's tricks."

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"She told me I was like her. I had the Force. She said if I stayed they'd find out, eventually, and then they'd do the same thing to me that they did to Jedi I captured."

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Ah.

That.

Fuck.

Sharra nods once, acknowledging this information.

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"So. I killed her. And I left."

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Sharra doesn't have words. She does have words. So many words. Love, comfort, comparison. Recriminations. And yet-

She just holds him close. Feeling him in her head, his emotions and feelings and panic-thoughts. The loud internal screaming. The hateguiltpanic.

Sharra holds him close. Calming her thoughts. Stepping back from their emotions and leaving only peace. She can do this for him. If nothing else.

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He buries his face back into her cleavage.

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There is no emotion, there is peace.

She buries her nose into his hair and closes her eyes.

There is no chaos, there is harmony.

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"S'that the Jedi Code?"

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"Some of it. The other parts involve 'no passion and only serenity'. I've never really been able to convince myself of that."

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"But 'No Emotion' and 'No Chaos' are easy?"

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"All or nothing, I guess. But it never really worked on me for long. Long enough to stave off a panic attack sometimes."

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"Seems kinda absolute for a Jedi." 

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She bends to kiss his face. "I wasn't ever a very good Jedi."

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"Or, maybe the Jedi just weren't very good at what they were supposed to be doing." 

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She kisses his snarking mouth. "You're preaching to the whole choir, my love."

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He smirks into her kiss, "The whole choir? But Revan isn't here." 

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"Be thankful for it. Once you get him singing, he never stops. Drove me insane."

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"Huh. Didn't know he sang." 

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"Musical prodigy. I was the only padawan that spent half her day learning musical theory and training my voice. Also drove me insane. All I wanted to do was wave around a lightsaber and get into trouble."

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"Can you do... Force stuff with music?" 

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"Yes, but that's not why he taught me. 'Culture', he said. That it's important to have skills that have nothing to do with the Force. Plus, it's helpful for relaxation and great for infiltration. I can't count the number times I went undercover as a musician for some mission or another. People talk around you. Don't really see you."

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"-oh, yeah. That makes sense. We learned stuff like that, too. No music, but, serving staff, custodians, gardeners. Invisible people." 

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She noses into his hair again and runs her nails down his back. "Guess it makes sense that we have some similar experiences."

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"Hah. Running from the past, pretending to be what we're not..." 

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"Mmm. No. We can be whatever and whoever we want to be. Even if that is mostly a lie that we tell ourselves. I still stand by it."

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"So if, say, you wanna be a traveling masseuse and I'll be your bodyguard..."

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She laughs and pulls back to try and get her breath.

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He grins up at her, giddy and silly with relief. He feels- lighter. Not in a Jedi way. Just- like a burden has been lifted.

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Which only fuels her giggles. She buries her face against his neck and tries not very hard to get herself under control. Her own emotions, her love for him, the weight that she feels has gone. She's full of it.

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"You're- crazy," he huffs, stifling giggles of his own. He doesn't giggle.

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"If I'm crazy, and you're in my head..."

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"...we're both crazy, and we make each other worse," he concludes. 

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"Guess we're stuck with each other. Nobody else will match up."

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"That's alright with me."