He stops kissing Sasha, puts his forehead on Sasha's, says "I haven't-- since--", and then immediately starts crying again.

"I've got you," he murmurs, and "Since?" 

"My-- I don't know-- we were together for five years-- he blissed."

"I'm so sorry," he whispers, holds Lev tighter — he's not going to think about Nova, thinking about Nova can wait, Lev needs him now — "Do you want —" 

"I don't know what you're asking about."

"...neither do I, really. But if you wanted to talk about it I'm here." 

"I shouldn't be doing this."

"Why not?" 

"For one thing, I could have you exiled? There's a whole power dynamic thing. For another thing I don't know how old you are but you look really, really young--"

"I'm not that young, I'm fifteen. And it'd be pretty weird to do nice things for me, hide that you were doing them, insist that you were only doing them for practical reasons and it had nothing to do with me, tell me you were worried about having a power dynamic, and then exile me for turning down sex." 

"Fifteen. God. If it were before the Bliss us having sex would be illegal."

"Yeah. But it's not before the Bliss, it's now, and you want me and I want you." 

"You do?"

"Wouldn't have kissed you if I didn't." 

Ethical objections later, kissing now.

Yes. Kissing is much, much better than ethical objections. 

"You're so beautiful."

"Thank you." At some point he should stop putting off having feelings but the part of his brain that handles feelings keeps going not now, not now, and he's made a deliberate habit of listening to it, at least about its own purview. "You have a really good mouth — and a really good smile — and you're good to hug —" 

"Oh god," he says, and rests his head against Sasha's shoulder.

Sasha cradles him close and kisses his forehead. 

"I've never done anything with anybody except for Asher."

He thinks about it. 

"At Nova I had Damian and Ember and Moss — and I guess I kind of had Gwen and Jasper too — we all kind of had each other at Nova, depending on what you mean by doing anything." 

"I mean you're the second person I've ever kissed."

"You're the ninth." Tenth? No, ninth, Marlo does not count. 

This is too much conversation and not enough kissing.