"Honestly we're not talking to a hundredth of what's out there." Possibly shouldn't have said that. It's kind of obvious though. "You can't make magic things?"

"It seems I cannot, yep." He didn't try every magical-sounding thing because what if something worked and it was bad, but he can't make a wosscalled horn, so.

"Are vampires magic things?"

"I have not tried to make one but I bet so. I'd probably just get a corpse, maybe one with a funky face that stayed that way like it didn't listen to its mom." Or a basement dweller but like, those die if you don't let their hearts beat.

He nods. The elevator chimes. A serious middle-aged man in uniform comes out; the soldiers salute him. "This is Lieutenant Colonel Scott Sender, U.S. Army," the one who's been talking to Cam says. 

"Welcome to Sunnydale," says Sender. "Appreciate you coming to us. That girl was quite upset." He waves the soldiers off. "What should I call you?"

"I'm Cam!" says Cam. He regrets that he cannot wag his tail in a friendly manner. A terrible pity. "It's nice to meet you, Scott." He is not saying Lieutenant Colonel over and over. What a pointlessly long name for a rank.

He maybe twitches the tiniest bit at that but only the tiniest bit. "I'm sure you must have a lot of questions for us."

"When do I get to tell NIH people - CDC or whatever is fine too, I don't really care, bring a bunch of different ones - how to cure various kinds of cancer etcetera? I would like to know how long I have to develop my lesson plan."

"They can fly over in the morning. They'll probably be here tomorrow night." Is he for real?

He's not eagerly contemplating his eagerness to betray you. 

"Cool, cool. Also, anybody gonna take terrible offense if next week I go terraform Mars? Are there demons on Mars or anything to worry about?" Mars is gonna have GRASS and WATER and TREES and CLOUDS and SHRUBBERY and FLOWERS and a MAGNETIC FIELD and BUGS and REALLY DUMB BIRDS SITTING ON NESTS OF EGGS SOME OF THE CHICKS OF WHICH MIGHT SURVIVE HAVING A REALLY DUMB PARENT BIRD. FUCK YEAH.

"We haven't actually been to Mars, so I'm afraid we're the wrong people to answer that for you. No one known to us has claimed they live there."

"Cool, I'll do due diligence but it's nice to expect a clear shot at it!"

"What's the plan once Mars is habitable?"

"Not sure yet. I might put off Mars, since it doesn't seem urgent and plausibly there are more things on Earth that would benefit from my attention sooner, I just really really wanna terraform Mars." Stupid gagcircling summoners who won't let him terraform!!!! MARS!!! can't stop him now. Mars is gonna have TOPSOIL. With WORMS in it.

"I heard the question of what dimension you're from is very complicated."

"It is! So complicated!" Like, yes, he's from Earth, but you're gonna get all the wrong ideas if he just says that. (Mars is gonna have SNOW and an OCEAN and FISH who won't even have the dumb fish parent problem.)

"We worked the other day with a group of people who'd fled here after the dimension they'd been living in, which wasn't their dimension of origin, expelled them at the request of a group of their political enemies back in their dimension of origin; they came here because the time dilation between this dimension and the one they started in was so intense that they didn't think anyone'd follow them here. Am I on the right track or does it get even more complicated?"

"I'd say differently rather than more." Heck, is he time dilated? No, if he were time dilated - well, if he were time dilated in the bad direction - he'd have more mail. - he'd still get mail from home, yeah, yes, he's been able to get reference materials and stuff from home, not even just his own computer he's personally interacted with. He'd probably get mail from home. Renée'll write any day, not time to panic.

"Should we be rolling out welcoming mats for any displaced apsels?"

"I don't think so. I guess you might get more tourism at some point." This place is a MESS but nobody had gotten to malaria yet so it could still probably use a proper summoning rollout, only, it's a huge mess, so. Why hasn't it been more generally discovered? Do local demon types just usually hijack circles, perhaps before they're properly valid? Angels? Fairies? So complicated. Gotta figure all that out before doing a Revelation.

He grimaces just a little. "Great."

"What, we're lovely." Well, they'll be lovely if they don't use fricking gagged circles and they can get theater fans and skiiers on the regular instead of rapist assholes.

"Everybody's lovely, it's just -" he clears his throat -" I don't know how much Earth history you're familiar with, where should I start?"

"Assume that once long ago I attended a small number of high school classes in the United States but was mostly thinking about other things during them." Heheheheheheh.