"I will only be useful for dicksucking."

"That's hot and I love you but you're still wrong."

"You think this now but you haven't had my mom's cooking!"

"I'm not in love with your mom!"

"I don't know, you seem to fall in love with people awfully fast..."

"Falling in love with your mom seems like it'd get very awkward!"

"Fair enough!" 

Kissing!

Mmmmmm yes that. Good. Yes.

"—so yesterday when you said I can rape you anytime I want, what exactly did you mean—"

"I'm not sure that there's a situation where I'd want to safeword if I had one, so if you think it'd be hotter not to have a safeword I'm fine with that."

"...I love you so much." He kisses him again. "But that sounds like a bad sex decision and I am trying not to make those."

"All right, then my safeword is 'safeword' and if I don't say that you can ignore me protesting as much as you want."

"Okay." Kiss. "I love you. Please actually use the word if something comes up that you weren't expecting."

"I promise if you start doing horrifying things with my cooking supplies I will safeword."

He snickers. "Well now I'm just wondering if you care enough about your cooking supplies for me to fix them with magic if I mess them up using them to torture you!"

"Do not."

"I won't." He hugs him. "I love you."

Soft warm kisses. "I want to take you to a theme park."

"What's a theme park?"

"There's candy, and shows, and rides that go really fast or drop you really far or have things jump out at you, and people dressed up in costumes pretending to be my mom."

"...Your mom specifically? Why???"

"...Did you miss that you're dating a prince?"

"...I mean, no, not exactly, although now that you mention it I'm pretty confused about where you're a prince of and how your... life... works."

"Auradon is made up of a bunch of smaller countries, all of which have their own governments. My dad used to be prince of one of them, Maldonia. But then he spent like fifteen years drinking and partying and having a mind-boggling amount of sex with both men and women, and his parents disowned him. He met my mom, which is a really long story, and they wound up opening a restaurant in Louisiana. So I don't have any money or political power but I do have the nifty title and fame and party invitations and the ability to figure out whether people are assholes based on what patronymic they use."

"Huh. Okay. And your mom got famous enough to... be on the list of people who get impersonated at theme parks...? I am so confused about theme parks."

"The end of the long story about my mom is that she wound up stopping four hundred thousand people from getting tortured for eternity."