"I don't know what else that was supposed to mean!"

"It means I'm an idiot who should listen to myself when I tell myself I'm doing something stupid!"

"Well, you aren't going to because I promised I would kill you!"

He starts to say something else and then finds that there are tears running down his face and he's sobbing too hard to talk. He presses his face into his hands and tries, very hard, with all his will, to stop that, but he can't. He's furious with himself for falling apart like this but being furious with himself doesn't actually make it any easier to stop.

Asher hugs him. 

He kind of collapses on him, clinging and crying.

"It's okay," he says, "it's okay, it's okay, I've got you, I love you, it's okay."

It is so utterly and obviously not okay—but—Asher is incredibly soothing anyway, and he so desperately needs to be soothed.

He cries for a couple of minutes before he finally manages a deep breath that doesn't immediately dissolve into sobs.

"—You should go help your friend," he says. "I'll keep. I don't—I don't think you have to do things just because you said you would, when you didn't even say you were promising, but if you decide you do then—I can't stop you, I love you too much. And I bet Ben needs a hug more than I do right now."

Asher holds his hand. 

"There are lots of people who can hug Ben and only one person who can hug you. And I love you."

"I love you too—so much—how many people who can hug him who he can tell what happened, though? I want—I wish I hadn't hurt him and the next best thing is if he's okay."

Asher kisses his cheek. "Okay, I'll go find him."

"Love you."

Ben is, conveniently, coming around the corner as soon as he leaves.

"Hey, Ben," he says, "you okay?"

"Not really the circumstances I would have chosen to lose my virginity. Is Tazalkyran okay?"

Tazalkyran is curled up on Asher's living room floor trying not to cry, so, not super much, no.

"Not really, but then he did kind of rape you?"

"I think I enjoyed it?" Ben says. 

"...That is... better than the alternative."

...Ben sounds... mostly okay? Ben sounds like he is less of a mess right now than Tazalkyran is. This seems like a stupid state of affairs. He takes a deep breath and scrubs at his face with both hands, trying to fix his mood through sheer willpower even though this has not worked any of the other times he has tried it.

"I uh-- I tend to think a lot about stuff like that when I, uh, you know. Being captured and tied up and hurt and forced to do things against my will." He is very, very embarrassed. "And I kind of thought it made me sick and perverted? But it was really convenient now, it would suck if I were traumatized by your boyfriend."

"...Ben, you're an idiot."

"What?"

"I am going to teach both of you idiots about the concept of safewords."

...this seems like... something of a shift in tone?

He is now more confused than distraught, which is a step up, he guesses. He rubs his face some more and sits up, looking toward them.

"...Wait, there's more than just me?"