"...that's really hot but how do I make sure you don't... die???"

"I dunno, you have more experience in torturing people than I do."

"Mm." He kisses Asher's cheek. "I—I don't think I can do it safely but oh, do I ever want to."

"We can figure it out," he says. "Acquire some, ah, extremely specialized medical knowledge."

"I love you so much!!!"

"Worst case scenario, we convince Ben to legalize magic and sodomy and hire a fairy to heal me."

"Yes let's do that." Kiss.

"And then we can break the hearts of every girl at Auradon Prep."

"What, because we're married and won't fuck them?"

"Yep!"

"I dunno, I might still fuck them. If you didn't mind."

"I dunno. I mean, it's not like I've never fucked a married person. But normally their spouses don't know."

"I wouldn't fuck around on you and lie to you about it! But if you were fine with it then why not? Only if you were, though, I don't wanna make you sad."

"In Auradon, if you're in love with one person, you don't want to fuck other people? Usually, I mean."

Shrug. "I guess that's usual where I come from too, but... I can't really figure out why? Or—'I don't want to make you sad' would be the reason, for me, the entire reason, if there's another one I don't have it."

"I don't think I'd be sad about you fucking other people except that other people might think you don't love me, which sucks."

"I love you a lot. I am going to have serious trouble pretending not to for as long as I have to do that."

"If you don't literally fuck me on the table in Ben's formal dining room no one will notice."

"...Well, that sounds really hot, but I think I can manage to avoid it."

"We can save it for marriage."

"You're so cute."

"But seriously most people don't really think about homosexuality being a thing, they're definitely not going to think Prince Asher son of Naveen might be a pervert, you can bring me flowers and tell me you love me and everyone will think we're just friends."

(Tazalkyran may remember that Asher was introduced to him as 'Asher son of Tiana.')

"I can bring you flowers???" Kiss. "I've never wanted to bring anyone flowers before. I want to bring you flowers."

"You can bring me as many flowers as your heart desires."

"Good!!!"