At the End of All Things Elves in Revelation
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"Hi there! I'm Cam. Can I have a word with you about your regular summons?"

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Now she looks more concerned. " - yep -"

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"I just wanted to advise you that it would be a really bad idea to give anybody Elf or half-Elf kids. It might not work anyway, since Elves are magic, and it would probably be best if your employer thought that was what was going on. I tried talking to him directly, but I didn't get much of anywhere."

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"He's a funny kind of guy. Why a bad idea?"

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"Might provoke the Valar - did you hear about that mess with that poor fairy -"

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" - yeah - that'd provoke them too? You know, some people were thinking if they're so easy to provoke something is guaranteed to do it sooner or later and -"

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"I can see the argument, I'm hoping they wind up accepting a correspondence demon so that they can be talked to nonprovocatively and I'm just trying to keep things from exploding until they get around to doing that on their glacial timescale. I don't know that Elf kids would actually upset them - honestly, it's their boss I'm more worried about here - but right now we can't even ask. I can make a note to get back to you whenever there's better information on that, if you like?"

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"I'm not in a big hurry to give someone magic Elf kids but I don't want to lie to them, if the real explanation is 'we're tiptoeing around the fucking Elf gods here -"

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"Yeah, that's why I called your boss first but, uh..."

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"Weird fucking guy. Like, he talks about how people should just do whatever they want with no one telling them what's what, and I'm like, yeah, okay, I'm with you, and then he's upset that a couple of chicks are together and it's like, uh -"

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"Yep. It's a type, actually, but he may be an unusually pure example. Look, if you straight up tell him you won't make Elf kids he can replace you - what's he paying -"

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"Cash - I want one of my own, and apparently you have to accumulate a bunch before they'll let you have one? He's the first gig that's let me talk, I don't wanna try finding another one again."

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"Yeah, I hear you. By all means keep the job, just - not Elf kids."

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Sigh. "Yeah, okay."

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"Thanks. Do you know Vol at all -"

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"Yeah, we overlap on busy days, he's cool. Really into humans, he really likes talking to them about their options and shit."

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"Do you think it'll be hard to convince him of the same thing?"

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"I mean, not to put too find a point on it, you summon people to give them a talk and sound really invested in it, they'd have to be kind of a dumbass not to say 'yep, whatever you say, summoner'."

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"Yeah, if you wanna just tell me his mail label I will be happy to go with that instead. We're not gonna keep you here, promise."

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She rattles off the mail label. "He'll probably work with you."

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Cam writes down the mail label. "Thanks. Anything for the inconvenience and/or spooking - Elvis is handy -"

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"Well isn't that something. Nah, I'm okay."

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"Cool. Good luck with kid-getting, and I'm 'letter to Cam, yellow' if you need anything - don't try guessing other colors, the others aren't colors."

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"All right."

 

And she goes home.

"Uh, I'm sure this is awkward given present human politics," Celegorm says, "but I would actually expect gay couples can't carry an Elf to term, on top of everything else. Single people either."

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"Why's that?"

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