At the End of All Things Elves in Revelation
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"They're the ones who can actually summon fairies," Cam points out.

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"We could arrange you a fairy in advance if you want fairy-involving dates."

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"I guess. It's still probably less impressive since they can go to the Moon whenever they want by themselves. Also I should actually pick one."

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"Why?"

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"...uh, I guess I could attempt to convert status into plural girlfriends but since both remaining candidates opened with a marriage proposal I was assuming implicit monogamy and it seems kind of like an asshole thing to do."

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"It doesn't seem like a particularly asshole thing to ask. If they find it very offensive to be asked questions that's something you'd want to know about them!"

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"I mean, I guess, but there's 'find it offensive to be asked questions' and, like, 'would settle for sharing without overtly complaining but wouldn't prefer it' and if one or both of them is the second thing I don't want to screw them over if instead they could meet some nice not-me person and wind up with more of what would make them happy in the long run?"

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"Sure but I think that's on them to, uh, notice? And it's not like if later they realize they do not prefer sharing they couldn't then be like 'oh, I'll go do that', unless you were planning to get married on the second date?"

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"Of course I'm not but I don't want to assume that people who sent me marriage proposals because I am Revelation are immune to silly short-term thinking that could eventually add up into longer-term regrettable patterns of behavior however otherwise observant they seem."

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"Well, I shouldn't read their minds for you and Elves can't date several people at all anyway but it seems like most people who send Revelation a marriage proposal'd probably rather be dating him than not."

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"- wait, can't? Not just don't?"

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" - nah, can't. If Elves have sex they are married and marriage is a permanent irrevocable state of affairs and marrying more than one person prompts divine intervention, it's the worst."

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"...wow. Shit. Okay. Uh, I will consider your suggestion."

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"Have fun."

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"That is in theory the idea."

...So he writes to each of Rivka and Claire that he likes them, that in case it wasn't obvious Elvis passed him up more than one letter and it turns out a date apiece wasn't sufficient to narrow the field to one person, that he would like to see them again and if they have suggestions or constraints on his handling the twoness of the people receiving this email he's open to fielding those, also Elvis's brother recommends the moon as a second date site does that appeal or would they rather do something else.

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Elvis has brothers who are also giving romantic advice? writes Claire. I'd be happy to go to the Moon. There is probably a number of people receiving this email that'd be weird but two doesn't bother me at all.

 

Moon sounds great, when? I'm a firm believer that people should not have more than one girlfriend per billion people they have lifted out of poverty, so you get three. So far. writes Rivka.

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Elvis has six brothers! Would you rather meet your counterpart or not hear about her again or what? When's good?

When works for you? My schedule is low on things I can't arbitrarily shuffle around. If you and the other party have comparable availability do you want to maybe share a trip to the Moon?

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They would like to meet each other and have some overlapping availability even with the ten hour time zone difference.

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...aaaaah

Okay! Overlapping time selected. The moon is short on landmarks so maybe they should meet at the gazebo and then fairy moonwards together rather than try to find the exact spot on the twilight band on the Copernicus side of the Copernicus-Ptolmaeus line or anything.

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(Elves think that Cam's dating adventures are adorable.)

 

 

At the arranged time there are two girls and two fairies. "Hello!" says Rivka. "You must be Claire - I love your shirt, that's a really pretty color on you -"

"- thank you, it was actually a different color and then I ran across a very opinionated angel on set and she demanded permission to fix it. If I see her again I will tell her I met someone who shares her tastes but I don't think she'll come back, she found humans distractingly unattractive."

"Humans in Hollywood? My impression was that that was the place where the attractive ones congregated!"

"I did not break it to her that there are parts of the world where people can't even afford plastic surgery. Though maybe she'd have been inspired to do it for free."

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"The color is nice. Maybe the angel in question would get along better with Elves, they have a different central aesthetic from angels but still."

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"Would they react badly to someone offering to alter their nose right on the spot, because if so it might be an ill-advised introduction," says Claire. "Hi! How're you?"

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"I'm pretty good! I don't know how Elves would feel about offers of immediate nosejobs. I think they like the noses they have. They did get their ears altered to pass, at least Elvis and company did, maybe not all of the ones remaining on Earth."

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"Are they naturally pointy?"

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"Yeah, some of Elvis's brothers weren't out and about enough to bother with the surgery and they're pointy."

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