In retrospect, given the sort of world he lived in, it should have been obvious that high school was not going to end with him walking across a stage and collecting a diploma, but instead with him falling into a mad scientist's portal and being transported to an alternate dimension.
It's the sort of thing that happens to mutants.
Those are definitely some feelings that he is going to sort out alone, in private, in his bedroom, without any clothes on.
When he takes his mouth away, there's a ring of puncture wounds on his arm.
He gestures at it.
"A little."
On the one hand, this is maybe...bad.
On the other hand, this is fascinating.
The words come out of his mouth before he really thinks about them.
"You can eat me a little."
Dorothy grabs Lev's arm and starts to usher him towards the door immediately.
"Discussion. Outside."
The door slides shut behind them.
"You're going to repeat after me."
He narrowly resists the urge to say "you're going to repeat after me."
"Okay."
"If Dorothy catches me trying to fuck the mermaid, she will break my arms."
"If Dorothy catches me trying to fuck the mermaid, she will break my arms."
"Thank you. You can stop repeating."
She folds her arms.
"You thought it was a good idea to offer to let a cryptid eat you?"
Oh, god, she's incredibly unqualified for this.
"...being eaten alive by a mermaid most likely isn't the answer."
"No, but if I'm lost indefinitely in an alternate universe and I have no idea how to get home, and also I've spent the last year constantly getting kidnapped by psychopaths, and also my dad has been alternately terrifying and depressing for the past three years because he was mind-controlled and murdered my boyfriend, I-- it doesn't make me want to die but 'I might die' is a lot less of a negative than it would otherwise be."
The door slides partway open.
"I can't answer any of these questions. I've known him for an hour."
"Where you came from, and who feeds you, and if your...hair is...soft."
"I came from another world where we don't have mermaids; the people who live underwater on my earth have blue or green skin and gills but otherwise look human. I hope these people will feed me if I do work. I have been reliably informed my hair is soft."
(Answering questions is not fucking the mermaid.)
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