Aaaaahhh.

Um.

"W-we. Might need. Reinf-forced. Handcuffs."

Blink blink. "... For you to be tied up with?"

"Y-yes."

"Oh I see," she purrs, and her demeanor... changes, slightly. From - whatever she was before - to someone who would like very much for him to be at her mercy. A proper fire queen, maybe. "Well I don't have very much experience on that side of things, but why don't you pick out something you'd like me to learn," her fingers trace up to take his chin and tilt it to the right angle, "on you, hm?"

Ah fuck.

His gaze lands momentarily on one of the chastity cages lying on the bed and then flicks back to her and he swallows audibly and his friend is definitely very interested in these developments.

He has no idea how he'd ask for that. Actually he shouldn't ask. Actually he shouldn't even have thought about it. The idea sounds absolutely horrible, actually????? Why did he think it. He should not be thinking it.

He should think of a different thing. Something else. Anything else.

She laughs, softly.

"Use your words~" she trills, closing her commscreen of spreadsheets and then moving a hand to touch more friendly things.

Aaaaahhh.

"M-maybe. I mean. If. I." Nope. Nope. Nope nope nope nope he cannot use his words for that. He cannot even think that. What's he thinking, that he'll, he'll, he'll wear one of those in public like when he's clearing a dungeon so that when he's super backlashed it will be a lot less obvious because he'll only be able to get hard if she lets him? Is that what he's thinking? Because he shouldn't be thinking that!!!! He shouldn't be thinking that at all!! Bystander consent is a thing, even if, if, if actually that'd be the opposite of exhibitionism, in a way? And, and people shouldn't have opinions about what he's wearing in public if, if he's not, like, indecent or anything, if he's in normal clothes then what do people care if he's in a cock cage or wearing underwear at all of if he's got a butt plug in—

Wh. Why. Why did his brain go there. Why did his brain go there now. Wh—

"Hey, sunbae? You've been to America a lot, right?"

?

"Yeah, why?"

"There was something I wanted to buy from there but delivery wait times are insane."

"Something you wanted to buy? What?"

"There's this sex toy brand called Lovense, it's really cool, it has these WiFi thingies and you can control them remotely using an app—"

?????????????????????????????????????????

"—and I was talking to hyung last night about it and it would be really hot if I wore something like that outside and he had access to it from his phone—"

"- Tae-gun," says a voice, gently but firmly, fingers brushing carefully through his hair. "Darling. Shhh, it's okay. It's okay."

...well the mood is completely and thoroughly ruined, now. Good job, Lee Tae-gun.

Nope, nope, fuck that, she does not know what is happening or why exactly, but she does know he needs cuddles and soothing murmurings and pets and being gently rocked. Whatever is wrong, she is here, and she is here to help.

"Sweetheart," she murmurs, still petting him, all traces of horniness gone in favor of taking care of her partner, "how can I help?"

"I, I just," oh, he's crying. He hasn't done that in a while, not since—with Woo-young—but it was completely different then. "It's stupid. It's so stupid. I just remembered something dumb, something—Tae-hwan asked me for help with something. And I was so embarrassed, and it was so inappropriate, and he didn't even see why I was making it such a big deal, and he was so ridiculous, and I'm never going to see his face again—"

Oh.

Okay, so, this was not the problem she thought it was, but the solution is still pretty much the same. Such as it is, anyway. She can't bring back the dead.

(This is why communication is so important!!!!)

"It's not stupid," she replies immediately, snuggling him. "It's not. None of that - what was it, iPhone from Hell shit, you hear me? It's okay to cry, I promise."

Stupid stupid stupid stupid. Why is he crying? He didn't know Tae-hwan, didn't know him anywhere near as well as Woo-young did, they barely ever talked. He was just—always there. For almost as long as Woo-young was. They'd run into each other a lot, and occasionally he'd hear Tae-hwan's voice over the phone when he was talking to Woo-young, and they were alright, they weren't super close but he, he knew Tae-hwan, and if this hadn't happened then, then it might take a month before he saw Tae-hwan again? And he'd barely notice that it'd been a month, except, except it's going to be a lot longer than a month now. It's going to be forever. He's just never going to see Tae-hwan again, and it's not, it's not because Tae-hwan changed guilds or moved to America or anything like that, it's because he's gone. Tae-gun's little brother is gone, and he never even let Tae-hwan call him hyung even though Tae-hwan wanted to, and what would've been the problem? He could've been Tae-hwan's hyung, Tae-hwan could've had one more hyung, and just because Tae-gun wasn't thinking of him as a dongsaeng doesn't mean he wasn't Tae-gun's little brother, too. Yoo-min-sunbae let Tae-hwan call him hyung, and Yoo-min-sunbae also lost a little brother, and.

Fuck.

Well, he has someone to hold him while he cries, to tell him he's not stupid, and pet his hair. Here she is, soft and warm and completely fine with being cried on.

"I just keep, keep everyone away," he sobs. "A-all the time. I used to, u-used to have. More people. And then he—and now I d-don't. And I could've, c-could've, if Woo-young is my dongsaeng then, then Tae-hwan should've been too." Sniffle. "And, and is there a reason I insist on, on doing that? I barely knew him and he's gone and I don't even know if he ever bought the s-stupid thing he wanted to buy. 

"I hate this. I h-hate feeling like this. What's the point of, of being Lee Tae-gun if I can't even keep my dongsaengs safe? If b-because of some other fucking esper's fuckup Tae-hwan can just, just die? What am I for?"

Pet pet pet. She's not going to engage with the bit where he asks what he's for, because that's been a reoccurring problem with them. He's not for anything, he's just in this wild and crazy world with all of the rest of them, and decided to be a really really good man and an even better esper and do his level best to save as many people as possible. This is absolutely not the time to try to beat down his fucked up world views, actually.

"Do you want to reconnect with people?" she asks, instead.