"I have no actual idea how defense mages work, but it definitely sounds super useful given that my number one pastime is fighting vampires and other very concerning people."

"Would you like to be immune to fire and freezing?"

"Yes I would. Does it cost anything, is there upkeep, are there side effects - "

"Usually I don't do wards for free but I'm not going to charge you for this one. There's no upkeep, it won't go away even if you regret it. I can do it so it'll break if you lose a limb or I can do it so if you lose a limb it'll be really awkward to cremate your severed limb, there's no convenient option where it definitely keeps working for you and definitely doesn't do anything to any dead meat. Which way do you want it?"

"Hmm. I think I'm good with not being cremated, you can do it so it doesn't break. - wait a second, how immune to fire is immune to fire, can I be warmed by fires, am I gonna be handicapped the next time I try to roast marshmallows? And conversely does it only shield me from tissue damage and not the sensation of extreme heat, or - I'm sorry to ask so many questions, I just like to know, you know, before deciding stuff?"

"No, that makes sense, I'm used to people having more background knowledge. I'd set a range of acceptable temperatures and then you'd be unable to get hotter or colder than that range - oh, I should actually ask, you're human, right? And you're an okay temperature now?"

"Yeah, I'm human and I'm at - I think this is pretty close to an ideal temperature, yeah. I guess degrees won't mean anything to you. I wanna be able to feel down to almost but I guess not quite the freezing point of water, and then like, if you set the upper bound at a little less than halfway between the freezing and the boiling point? That's probably good? Does that make any sense?"

"If you're the kind of human I'm familiar with, that's much too broad a range, people like I'm familiar with can't survive being colder than... about a quarter of the way between freezing and normal human body temperature."

"Ohhh, that makes sense, I'm dumb, you want to limit it to things that you can survive at indefinitely. I guess this means I'll have to give up some of my marshmallow roasting skills. Definitely worth it, in my line of work, but that's sad. Alright, you set the range, you're the one who knows about this stuff."

He frowns at her for a while. This is slightly complicated and not something he can do well in a second, better to give it a full minute now to get the details right than make a mistake that Karen will only notice in the middle of a fight.

She figures he's probably figuring out a thing and waits for him to be done.

"There you go! It should be safe to test."

"Just like that? Huh, we usually have to say a thing or do a thing or make a thing. Neat, though! - do you need anything first? Are you OK, beyond the obviously not OK elements of the situation? I think if I were in your position I would be sort of terrified."

"I'm scared but it wouldn't do any good to cry about it. So anyway what are marshmallows and why do they need to be roasted?"

"Marshmallows are these things made of sugar and if you roast them they get all warm and gooey on the inside and and golden on the outside, and I think maybe that doesn't sound good if you've never had it, but it is. But, um, it's OK to say if you need things? Do you need - I don't know, a hug or something?"

"I would love one. Please."

So she hugs him. Karen is pretty good at giving hugs. 

"M'sorry I got you stuck here," she mumbles.

He's bony and clingy but he's very enthusiastic about getting a hug.

"It's not your fault. I'm honored that you invited me into your home."

Aww. Poor person. Hug hug hug.

"We'll get it sorted out. Until then - I think your world's really different than mine, so I think I'm not going to be able to think of all the things you probably need on my own? So if there are things you don't have going forward that would help you, then it'd be good if you could tell me about them. D'you think you can do that?"

"Humans where I'm from need a hidden room to sleep in for at least eight hours every day, food, water, soap and... I don't know what kind of bathroom facilities you have..."

"We have indoor plumbing, don't worry. A hidden room - I guess we have a basement? It's not furnished to be a bedroom but I guess we can set up a cot in it. I can show you and we'll see if it works? - I should probably introduce you to my sister at some point. She's. Uh. Making Christmas cookies right now. I think. Because Christmas is in like two days."

"Basement's fine, I just mean unscryable. What's Christmas?"

"Iiiiiii have absolutely no idea how to do that but maybe Wishbone does. - I have completely forgotten to mention anything about Wishbone. Anyway. Christmas is a religious holiday where we celebrate the fact that God loved humans so much that he came down from heaven to be born as a human and ultimately offer us a way to be saved from our own sins, but that is like this whole other kettle of fish and I will probably explain it all better when we are not, like, adjusting to all of the - everything that happened over the past hour."

"Your house isn't hidden? People could watch you sleep? ...Do you want a hug?"

" - I guess in theory? There's probably a way to block scrying, I just - it didn't really occur to me to prioritize that, we've never had any problems with it as far as I know? But I can work on that if it's important? It sounds like it's really important."