"Rager status?"

"Oh, uh, I'm a Warper, so I manipulate one of the fundamental forces of the universe? In my case and Morty's case, that's luck. The problem is that when you get two probability warpers in the same room, their powers kind of... start fighting each other? Because you can't both be luckier than the other. So the side effect of this is that really weird shit starts happening when you get two probability warpers together, and that's one of the reasons I can't be friends with him. The other reason is that he has Diedrick's Syndrome, which gives him manic episodes and fucks with his emotional regulation, and I'm a Class-3 Rager, which means that when I get really angry I won't stop fighting until I'm down or everybody else is, and I get more powerful when I'm raging. Because ordinarily I'm a midlevel Esper/Mage/Warper, but when I'm raging I'm one of the biggest threats on campus. So if he got all 'you pathetic worm' at me, I might end up turning him into a slime mold."

"Yikes! I guess you could become pen pals, but as much Gav feels like praising him, I don't think it's worth the risk. On either end."

"Yep."

They reach the Crystal Hall. "The Hemitheoi - that's my team - our table's over there," Alex says, pointing to a table near the edge of the available tables. "Let's meet up there after you've collected your breakfast?"

"Sounds like a plan. See you in a bit."

They go collect breakfast.

They are really baffled that this place has different menus for different kinds of the day. Oh, well, they don't need to try everything in a day. They go find the Hemitheoi.

The Hemitheoi are sitting around the table and chatting. "Honestly," says a black girl, "I don't know how you got your parents to let you get your tongues pierced. My mom would kill me."

Two identical boys shrug in unison. "Dad couldn't care less," says one, revealing a bright silver tongue stud.

"And Mom thinks she's cool for letting us," says the other, whose tongue stud is a softly glowing gold.

"Parents are so annoying," Alex sighs. Everyone else at the table nods, except for the boy sitting next to him, who looks mildly offended.

"Hi, Alex! May we?" Herod indicates two seats.

"I only remember one out of four of my parents, but I do agree that they can get annoying."

"Yeah, go right ahead!" Alex says. "Guys, this is Herod and Gavriel." The table's residents wave with varying degrees of enthusiasm.

"That's going to get confusing," comments one of the twins. "I'm Gavriil, hi. This handsome bastard to my right is Kostas. Codenames Dreamer and Ferryman."

"Don't do the Ouran thing," says the black girl, "it's incredibly obnoxious. Hi. Sheila Kamber-Green, codename Gnosis."

An Asian girl sitting next to her looks up from a book. "Sandy Cheung. Vanquish." She goes back to reading. Sheila kisses her on the cheek.

"You already know me," Alex says sheepishly, "but I forgot to give you my codename. Moira."

"And I'm Jack," says the boy next to him. "And my codename is Man Jack, because Jack of All Trades was taken and I'm a sore loser."

They sit down. Herod makes mental notes of each name and codename.

"Should we get codenames?" he asks before casting. "Lesser Detect Food!" it sounds like every language they know, overlapped, but distinct and comprehensible. "Oh, okay, everything is clear, Gav."

Gav takes a bite. Nom, pancakes. "I usually go by Gav, if that helps," he tells Gavriil.

Kostas smirks. “He also usually goes by Gav, so not really. Also, ‘lesser detect food?’”

“It sounded better in Greek,” Sheila comments. “Speaking of which, why did you suddenly speak in Ancient Greek?”

”And Chinese,” Sandy says, not looking up from her book. “And French, Portuguese, Latin-"

"We get it, Sandy," Jack groans. "Although... Sumerian, for me. Which is really weird."

"Ah, I used a different kind of magic than what you're used to, called spellwords where we are form. The apparent translation thing is a quirk."

Sandy nods. "Makes sense."

"Maybe Jack should sleep with you," Gavriil says idly. "Those sound handy."

Jack blushes. "I am not going to sleep with some random dimensional refugee! I have a boyfriend!"

"Hey, don't hide behind me," Alex giggles. "It's your God-given right to sleep with whoever you want, hon."

"You have sex-based powers? How? And how do I get sex-based powers? If the problem is your boyfriend maybe he could-"

"Maybe he could be informed that both refugees are above the local legal age of majority. No offense, Jack."

"Oh, that is a pity," Kostas says. "He's the only one of us who isn't... mature for his age."

Gavriil elbows him. "You sound creepy."

Jack blushes some more. "I- you explain it, Alex, you're better at it."

Alex rolls his eyes. "Jack's a power mimic - he can touch people and use their powers for about an hour. What's weird about him compared to other power mimics is that after mimicking the power, he actually keeps a teeny little bit of it, forever. What's weirder is that, due to the whims of the trickster god who gave him this ability, he can keep the power permanently if he has sex with the person who has it. Unfortunately, he's a prude."

"I'm not a prude! I'm just not some- mercenary nymphomaniac who goes around fucking people for my own gain!"

"Right. So you're a prude."

"I was never more jealous in my life," Gavriel says with mock anger, "spellwords are all about reading and writing way too much and even empowering vices have their downsides."

"Okay, I must admit that I am jealous. What exactly do you object to sleeping with consensual people that have been fully informed of this ability of yours? What even counts as sleeping?"

Jack buries his face in his hands. Alex pats him on the back. "He's bad at flirting with people, is the main thing - he kind of fell into his only previous relationship, and then fell into this one too. And he gets attached really easily, so casual sex is hard on him emotionally. And he runs naturally monogamous. It's a bad combination."

Kostas pipes up, "He hasn't experimented extensively with the boundaries, because he's a prude, but we're pretty sure it's full-on ugly-bumping only. Magic likes full penetration."

"Why the trickster god did this to you? I know your team name is half-gods, but wow that's the darkest irony I have ever heard. I am so sorry dude."

"It's not really Nem-Shar's fault," Alex explains. "Trickster gods have to work with a theme, and it's usually sex."

"Technically, he says I could also get powers by eating the hearts of my enemies," Jack says through his hands. "But that's only slightly more palatable."

Gavriel laughs. "Now, I am personally offended."

"Hopefully, you have not put that one into practice. Because, ew."

"No."

Gavriil takes a bite of french toast. "Why does every conversation at this table have to devolve into Jack's issues?"

"Because the rest of us have largely sorted out our issues, and Jack is a normal teenager. Do you want Steven back?" Sandy asks.

Kostas sticks his tongue out. His golden tongue stud glimmers softly.