Snuggle. "I cannot imagine that the other Fëanáros were keeping quiet about their objections to the arrangement -"

"I can't tell you how their displeasure may have been expressed but I assume it wasn't quietly."

"What a nightmare. At least I suppose he couldn't have run away to the Outer Lands..."

"If he tries that I don't have it in the abridged notes version. Anyway, in spite of this stunning example of family life Fëanáros then proceed to marry young and have seven children."

"Not ten?"

"I am not privy to their family planning discussions. Last two are twins, that might be it."

"What're they like, what're they like?!"

"I don't know any of them all that well myself but several Bells are very fond of their instances of the firstborn, name of Maitimo - second one's Macalaurë, a ridiculously good singer - third one's Tyelcormo, keeps a Maia as a pet, mysteriously able to talk to animals - only note I have on Carnistir is that he's the one who likes economics - Curufinwë is like you only less so - no personality notes on the twins..."

"Are they happy?"

"Uh."

Bella-clinging.

"I'm really not the best person to ask about them, anyway, I have not made a habit of extensive socialization with them - they're very competent and very devoted to their respective yous, that's what I've got."

"...okay."

"Also, in 1400, the Valar parole Melkor, this is a terrible fucking idea don't let yours do it he continues to be bad fucking news."

"Ohhhhh no."

"What were they thinking - it'd been three hundred Years, I suppose that's what they were thinking..."

"Also he faked an oath to behave and nobody wanted to assign a prison sentence of 'eternity', I guess, but they were not sufficiently paranoid about the oath."

He nods.

"So. Don't let yours do that. You will get to avoid a whole lot of nastiness that way. Elspeth can help. But anyway, Kib arrives when he's been paroled for a while and has been pretending to behave himself very well so far and Fëanáro's kids are mostly grown up..." And he digresses to explain the traits of Stork and Kib's reincarnation thing and servantmaking and the portals and whatnot, omitting the polyamory tangle because little ears.

Little ears who are way more interested in servantmaking and reincarnation and the portals! "Maybe once Elspeth makes our Valar reasonable and they apologize we can have a portal from Valinor to here!"

"Maybe. Shine and Stork have portals between them again. Could be more useful for your purposes than just teleportation."

"I haven't teleported back to see my parents because we're worried the Valar'd make me stay."

"I have no special expertise on whether they would do that. So things are nice for a while. On what appears to have been a complete whim the Fëanáro brings home a baby from a visit to Stork and adopts her; her name's Lári. Things are looking okay. But Kib makes Melkor kinda nervous or something. So, after smuggling some Stork babies into Shine for servantmaking purposes, Melkor kills the Trees - which he usually does, but this was ahead of schedule - and also Kib's husband, and he swoops off to Endorë to be overtly evil again. They grab Kib's reincarnated husband out of Stork before the Valar close the portals, and people pack up to go oppose the overt evil. Fortunately, they had all the boats they needed, they'd been able to copy stuff from Stork."

"There's a prophecy where I kill a lot of people for boats -"

"Yeah, but when that happens it's not because you just sort of feel like killing people for their boats, it's because you need boats, don't know how to build them, are in a desperate hurry, and try to steal them. Doesn't happen if there's plenty of boats."