“I like getting hurt.”

"I think, by definition, getting hurt is a thing you don't like."

“Okay, sure. Then I didn’t get hurt. Feel good about yourself.”

"I guess?" Kaleva says uncertainly. "You are really beautiful though."

He wipes his mouth on the back of his hand.

"I've seen beautiful people here. They don't look like me."

Kaleva attempts to figure out a way to say "I like the way you look because your hair is all messed up and you look like you were crying" that doesn't sound horrible. Eventually he settles on "I like you better."

“You’ve got weird taste,” he says, but he seems pleased.

“...or you’re kind of a sadist,” he realizes.

"What's a sadist?"

“That might be kinda advanced for an Auradon Prep kid who just learned what a blowjob is.”

"I should probably know what it is if I maybe am one!"

“Somebody who gets off on hurting people, or embarrassing them, or messing them up. Or seeing that happen to them, I guess.”

Oh crap he's a sadist.

"That sounds like kind of a horrible thing to get off on."

He shrugs.

“I’m not good with what’s horrible and what isn’t, but I’m pretty glad they exist.”

Oh god, he's a horrible person. He is a horrible person who likes kissing guys and hurting guys and the library books were absolutely right about sodomy being wrong. 

Time to draw up his legs into his chest and have another panic attack!

“—are you—uh—”

He’s clearly not okay.

"I'm a terrible person," he mutters into his knees.

Nobody’s here.

The door’s locked.

He shuffles over, comes up on his knees and puts his arms awkwardly around him from the side.

“...you seem like a good guy to me.”

"I like hurting you," he says, muffled, "and I like kissing you, and I like sodomy a lot, and I don't think I like normal sex at all."

“...what counts as normal sex, anyway?”

"Vaginal intercourse with someone you're married to? It always sounded really gross to me, and I thought maybe that was because it actually is really gross and it would be less gross if I was in love with someone. But oral sex is also gross and I really really want you to put your penis in my mouth and I don't think that's because I'm in love with you because I think I also want Prince Asher to put his penis in my mouth and it would be really weird to be in love with Prince Asher because we've never talked and also because you can't be in love with more than one person at once. And also I want to make you cry and it would be really weird if I wanted to make you cry if I were in love with you."

Okay wow there’s a lot to unpack here.

“So—uh—it kind of sounds like you’re gay?”

"What... does gay mean?"

“Seriously, nobody has told you this your whole life—it’s when you only want sex with men.”