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Oct 14, 2019 11:35 PM
jiath gives the one he loves a shiny rock
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Leave work. Walk down street. See guy twice your size hassling lady. Pick fight with guy twice your size. Dodge. Flip guy over head. Knock guy unconscious. Check guy's pockets, because you're only human, okay? Be seen by police. Run from police. Climb onto a dumpster and jump onto a fire escape and run up while police yell and point guns. Climb through window at top of fire escape into house.

Okay, so far so normal.

Exit bedroom, find bar.

Not...super normal.

Sit down at bar. Acquire mojito by talking to nobody.

Today sure is a day.

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The door opens. A man wanders in.

He's reading a book while he walks; it takes him a moment to look up and notice where he is. When he does, he looks more intrigued than alarmed, until he sees Z; then he looks alarmed.

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Okay, sure. Weird hot guy reading a book.

"...hi?"

She glances around the room.

"Do you, uh...know what the deal is with this place?"

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"...yes. Do you not?"

Even more alarmed, now.

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"Uh...I climbed through somebody's window and this is what I found instead of their apartment? So, no?"

She spins towards him on her stool, the dregs of her drink in hand.

"–fuck, do you live here?"

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"You what," he asks, bewildered. "...never mind, it's not important, you need to get out of here now if you still can."

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"Uh. 'If I still can?'"

She glances at her drink.

"Is there some freaky magic stuff going on here I should know about?"

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"Yes and I will happily tell you all about it once you are definitely not spending the next hundred years being raped and tortured."

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Z, do not think happy thoughts.

"What the fuck?"

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"I will explain it later, come on."

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She hops off her bar stool and dusts herself off.

"Okay, sure – does that happen to everybody who comes in here? Does anybody come in here? Am I just fucked because I break and enter as a hobby?"

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"Generally people do not casually break into the castle of the Lord of the Howling Mountain, no!"

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"The what of the who."

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"You are having a lot of trouble with the concept 'every second you stay here makes it more certain he will notice.'"

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"Okay! Fuck! Come on, then!"

She grabs his hand and makes for the door she came in through.

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He follows her to the door.

"He hasn't seen you yet, has he? Why were you on the mountain??"

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"Dude, I don't know what your situation is but Brooklyn is definitely not a mountain."

See: the room outside that door.

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"...what the hell."

Serik definitely did not design that room.

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"...so, you don't know what's going on?"

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"I am beginning to get the impression that I do not!"

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"Maybe you should tell me how you thought this was gonna go down. And we can compare notes or something."

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"I live on a mountain in a magical castle with an immortal prince whose chief hobby is kidnapping attractive young people -- mostly women -- and giving them a cut-rate sort of immortality so that he can proceed to spend the next hundred years raping and torturing them at his whim. I assumed he had simply redecorated. If he had found you in his castle...."

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"So. Assuming you're not full of shit. What kind of rape and torture are we talking?"

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"I have no idea what kind of answer you are hoping to elicit with that question."

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"Like...is this unfun sleep-dep-and-loud-noises torture, or fun see-your-guts torture? How old is the guy? Is a person hypothetically stuck in a dungeon or something the rest of the time? What are the odds on jailbreaking everybody else?"

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"...and I thought I had the market cornered on bad ideas. It's, ah, unfun see-your-guts torture, the guy is millennia old but he does not look it, a person hypothetically lives in a charming little village full of equally traumatized people, the odds are absolutely null."

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