"We can assume no god for now and complain loudly about bitoxiphosphene if one turns out to actually exist."

"The bitoxiphosphene thing is bizarre, honestly, as far as I can tell it just doesn't exist in my world."

"Good for your world! It's a horrible substance."

"I guess we could have had it and it got dealt with, I wouldn't necessarily know. I didn't know about the nuclear net until pretty recently."

"Nuclear net?"

"Oh, this one vampire decided that a nuclear holocaust would be inconvenient, so he enchanted the entire planet so nuclear bombs would just fail to work."

"Do vampires exist???"

"In my universe they do!"

"Do they exist in this universe becauSE I FEEL LIKE THAT'S THE SORT OF THING THAT IS IMPORTANT?!"

Giggle. "No, I checked."

"Do any other supernatural beings of any sort exist? Or aliens?"

"Not here that I've been able to find."

"That's good. So you're planning to create Heaven on Mars?"

"Yes, that's the idea. And set something up to bypass normal emigration channels, so anyone who wants to come can, and any country that's being shitty to its citizens can shape up or lose them."

"I'm concerned that whether Christians emigrate is going to depend primarily on whether they believe you're the Christ or the Antichrist."

Shrug. "If I just tell the whole truth and say I have no objections to people considering me a magic alien it seems like it would be hard to make the case that I'm trying to be Fake Jesus, but people are stubborn."

"Yeah, saying 'I'm Jesus from another universe' is going to get a lot of people to consider you the Antichrist. You might get a high takeup among secret atheists and Canadian teenagers who want to have babies?"

"I expect the Handmaid thing is liable to get me takers if you don't cut that out with the bitoxiphosphene gone."

"Doubt we will, it's a religious requirement at this point. Are you planning to take criminals to Mars?"

"I expect it depends on their crimes."

"Most criminal Handmaids are Handmaids because they've stolen something or assaulted someone or sold heroin or done something else that uncontroversially should be illegal."

"I mean, on the one hand, that's fair, but on the other hand, stealing someone's baby is literally the worst thing I can think of to do to someone."

"Depending on how many resources Mars has, you may wish to say that any criminal on Earth is welcome to flee to Mars if they serve out Mars's sentence for the crime."

"Ooh, I like that. It'll probably mean I have to have more complicated laws but that's probably workable."

"I'll cancel the meeting with the other Commanders but you should still probably do the AMA. I think terraforming is hard."