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Oct 18, 2019 7:43 AM
jean, z, even more horror than usual
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[22:08] wastingdjinni: http://pic.ly/vd/89a301/

(It's an amateur effort, taken with a cellphone camera, one shaking, freckled hand cutting into a pinky finger, sounds of pain and lust. It's a little beautiful, because of what it is, even more because of who it's for, but other than that...)

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I could do better, he thinks.

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[22:10] z: nice <3
* z left the server (Connection timed out.) *

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<3

<3

<3

 

 

Somehow, he ends up spending the next few hours hunting down and watching other fan tributes.

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An awful lot of videos on particular sharing sites are tagged with zlovesyou and zlovesyou.red and tribute. Some of them are from familiar names.

wastingdjinni is, as far as his channel is concerned, mostly a pair of hands and a red-freckled body. He's very prolific. It's all cellphone video of cuts and burns, getting progressively worse as the time goes on. In that most recent video, there's a leftover blister on his hand that hadn't fully healed. "Please watch."

lollixcabra is a compact latina with a fluorescent undercut, filming shaky handheld camera footage. She jumps from a rooftop and lands hard on one leg, films the unnatural jut of the bone from skin – "this is for you" – the next video is her jarring the break against a doorframe until she screams.

chimeraglo, an unremarkable brunet, has a script for the beginning of each video – "This is an offering. I give it freely and expect nothing back." and so on. He spills blood into a bowl and drinks it, strangles himself to unconsciousness.

deadleaf is pale and beauty-marked, with a round, sweet face. They cut, mostly, nude and blushing, trying their best to look into the camera, and talk about how good it is and how beautiful it makes them feel and how happy he makes them. "Thank you for loving us." "I was so sad before I found you."

There are thousands more.

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Some of them are better than others.

Some are very, very good.

from: clover.anytime@shininghour.com

to: body@zlovesyou.red

subject: tribute

my sister doesn't like me breaking her things

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from: body@zlovesyou.red

to: clover.anytime@shininghour.com

subject: re: tribute

nobody needs to tribute

what counts as broken?

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from: clover.anytime@shininghour.com

to: body@zlovesyou.red

subject: re: tribute

that's not what words mean

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from: body@zlovesyou.red

to: clover.anytime@shininghour.com

subject: re: butterfly

send more of those?

 

from: body@zlovesyou.red

to: clover.anytime@shininghour.com

subject: re: TRIBUTE

it's true though

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from: clover.anytime@shininghour.com

to: body@zlovesyou.red

subject: re: butterfly

>:(

 

from: clover.anytime@shininghour.com

to: body@zlovesyou.red

subject: re: TRIBUTE

then why do you call it that

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from: body@zlovesyou.red

to: clover.anytime@shininghour.com

subject: re: TRIBUTE

tribute
noun
trib·​ute | \ ˈtri-(ˌ)byüt , -byət\
Definition of tribute
 
1a: something given or contributed voluntarily as due or deserved  especially : a gift or service showing respect, gratitude, or affection

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from: clover.anytime@shininghour.com

to: body@zlovesyou.red

subject: re: TRIBUTE

 payment made periodically by one state or ruler to another, especially as a sign of dependence

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from: body@zlovesyou.red

to: clover.anytime@shininghour.com

subject: re: TRIBUTE

i guess if you're looking for a ¿͘͏q̢̡͢ù̕e̴͘e̴̶n͏?̡҉

 

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from: clover.anytime@shininghour.com

to: body@zlovesyou.red

subject: re: TRIBUTE

 I am NOT

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from: body@zlovesyou.red

to: clover.anytime@shininghour.com

subject: re: TRIBUTE

what kinda ruler even am i then

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from: clover.anytime@shininghour.com

to: body@zlovesyou.red

subject: re: TRIBUTE

maybe you can be a queen

but I have a hive

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from: body@zlovesyou.red

to: clover.anytime@shininghour.com

subject: re: TRIBUTE

yeah i can tell

lucky hive

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from: clover.anytime@shininghour.com

to: body@zlovesyou.red

subject: re: TRIBUTE

lucky me

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from: body@zlovesyou.red

to: clover.anytime@shininghour.com

subject: re: TRIBUTE

guess you can't have more than one?

you're interesting anyway

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from: clover.anytime@shininghour.com

to: body@zlovesyou.red

subject: re: TRIBUTE

I don't know

maybe

I've never done this before

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from: body@zlovesyou.red

to: clover.anytime@shininghour.com

subject: re: TRIBUTE (don't need to break yourself)

 

get one good clip? see how it feels

you're like a bug͠ bu͟zzin̨g̀ ̢a̧r̕o͜und̶ ̢in ́th̕ere but you've got the right ¿frequencies?

i bet you'll ¿know it when you see it?

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He thinks about it.

He finds himself driving into town, buying a camera and tripod and lights and reflectors and diffusers.

 

It's a couple of days' work, learning how to do it right, how to set everything up, taking test videos of nothing in particular. But he's going to do it right.

 

Afterwards, he logs back into the chatroom.

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[20:45] foggy: hey beefucker
[20:45] deadleaf: hi hi!
[20:46] lemontired: sup
[20:46] palais: 👋

(Z is online.)

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[20:47] secondsting: http://pic.ly/vd/686f6e6579 

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