The Top 100 Things I'd Do
If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

I'll think on ways to improve how quickly we get sundry heroes' measures...

Eighty-one?

It's a visual media trope:

 81. If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw.

?

OH!

Oh, that's funny.

I want to watch a scene in figment-theater where someone's knocked off a flying carpet by, like, a tree branch or a bridge or a balcony. 

Does this really come up often enough in Earth fiction to earn a spot on the Overlord List?

Earth has trains! 

What are those?

Trains are a kind of mindless construct that can have 40+ Strength and move as fast as pegasi. We task them with hauling heavy loads and ride them from place to place, but only where we've built special train-paths in advance - without train-paths they get lost or trip and fall over; trains aren't very dexterous or smart.

Also, some kinds of trains draw their animating force from the train-paths themselves! So you can't exactly take them off-road. 

Woah.

Are trains useful as weapons of war, or - if you encircled your lands with train paths, could they hold that line against infantry like the Quantium Golems in Nex? 

It'd be too easy to destroy the train paths, or to evade the trains - they have a real hard time speeding up and slowing down, or turning around. Most of the constructs people use in war are less powerful, but more maneuverable.

Togomor crafts constructs and he's nearly as mighty as a wizard can get - how difficult of a quest would it be to get your hands on the principles behind the construction of train-paths or war constructs, or enough of said principles that Togomor could rederive the rest? 

I'm afraid I can't tell a mysterious evil wizard how to craft powerful otherworldly constructs.

My own caster level is very high and/or is growing very quickly, depending on where we are in the plot of Curse of the Crimson Throne, and I canonically pick up Craft Wondrous Item at some point - I could take Craft Arms and Armor too, and then I'd qualify for Craft Construct.

Would you tell me how to craft trains?

Sure!

I'd happily teach any high-level good-aligned bard interested in the welfare of her country how it is that trains work.

...Although it might derail the plot. Is derailing the plot of Curse of the Crimson Throne something that I'm worried about, in this omake-continuity where we're playing the AP?

I'm in favor of you not worrying about anything which, when worried about, gets in the way of your telling me cool train facts. 

I don't know about cool train facts, but I have these two train videos I think are pretty cool.

I have no way to watch videos from your planet, and while I always appreciate your character's verbal descriptions of how they go, I think, alas, that much of the charm is lost in translation.

I tried my best and that's what really matters. 

Are you proposing that as a general rule, or is trying your best being what matters specifically about making train noises? 

If I say it's a general rule are you going to tell me to conquer Montana? 

That depends on a number of factors! I'd have to know more about Montana.

In that case I was talking specifically about train noises.

Is Montana Earth's Nidal?

I'm sure Montana is lovely? I've never been.

Then does Montana seem easy to conquer?