The Top 100 Things I'd Do
If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

It's a colloquialism on my planet - Barry's an evil genius in the sense that he designs deadly dungeons, not in the sense that he has the evil alignment.

Oh. I guess it does make sense that both the imaginary character and the real person are architects, like how both you and "Cheryl" are experienced adventurers.

Wait, what makes you think Cheryl's an adventurer? 

...You told me that she is?

I don't think I did.

Maybe not in those exact words, but, the stories you've told - like, just taking one example, you died six times fighting "Starscourge Radahn."

Non-adventurers don't fight people with names like "Starscourge," and don't die, let alone six times, in any fights they win.

...It'd be fun to let you believe that, but I don't want to lie by omission.

Radahn was from a game called Elden Ring.

In real life I'm no one important.

Ileosa doesn't believe that for one second. From when Ileosa first met her as a low-level adventurer in the first book of Curse of the Crimson Throne, Choryon's been too good at tactics and lateral thinking and general adventurer skills and everything else she does. Plus, Choryon knows three other people with the same trait, one of whom is an "Evil genius" at designing deadly dungeons.

She's clearly been in the interpersonal violence community for a good while.

I've played a lot of games, and your world is a game, so I look good in it. But in my real life, I sell shoes.

You're a cobbler?

I don't even make the shoes! I just sell them.

They should at least let you make the shoes, I'm sure that you'd be good at it.

It'd be by the thinnest hair less a waste of your ability.

I appreciate your vote of confidence, but I'm better compensated than the people who make shoes and don't want one of their jobs. 

That doesn't make a lot of sense to Ileosa.

Anyone can sell shoes, but not everyone can make them.

I live near a bunch of rich people who don't want to walk too far to get new shoes, and they buy shoes which were made too far away for a convenient walk. 

(Well, we buy shoes which were made too far away to conveniently walk; I'm a rich person too.)

And these shoes fit??

They come in all sizes!

It's a big operation.

This is such an update to my mental picture of you that I don't know where to begin.

You got rich off selling shoes? 

That's... correct, but it's not out of any particular skill. I could have gotten rich off of something else instead.

That sounds to me like you have a particular skill for making money.

I live in pretty much the best place in the world for making money, through absolutely no fault of my own - my parents moved here when I was small enough to fit in a microwave oven. 

I don't suppose that it's normal on your planet for people to put babies in ovens?

Oh, but it is! For every person born on my planet, there's been at least one baby put in an oven.

...Whack.

While you're on Golarion, I would like you to please refrain from putting any babies in ovens.