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In Which Ileosa Arabasti Grows Savvy to the Conventions of her Genre
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You've got your Gray Maidens in full-face helmets? That's literally the first entry on

The Top 100 Things I'd Do
If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

Copyright 1996-1997 by Peter Anspach. If you enjoy it, feel free to pass it along or post it anywhere, provided that (1) it is not altered in any way, and (2) this copyright notice is attached.

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Ileosa explains what "cooperatebot" means to Choryon.

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Choryon finds this hilarious.

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I am thoroughly bewildered.

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Ileosa actually explains what "cooperatebot" means, which first requires explaining the prisoner's dilemma to her, although I'm not going to force you to sit through the exposition.

(If you know what the prisoner's dilemma is but happen not to know what "cooperatebot" means, it's just a robot as always picks "cooperate" in the dilemma.)

Sorry about that, folks. 

We'll get back to your regular program.

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It's better to have a reputation for being cooperatebot than for being defectbot, since most people are playing tit-for-tat.

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That's not my experience. I think most people are defectbots. 

People playing tit-for-tat or grim trigger are a rare and precious resource; life is a game of defectbots scouring Golarion for them and getting that juicy turn-one cooperate/defect.

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I think the world only looks that way when you're playing always-defect and nearly everyone can tell.

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I don't play always-defect! I only defect in the non-iterated prisoner's dilemma, or on the last turn of an iterated game, or against people who will cooperate next round whether I defect or not.

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It sounds lonely to defect more against people the more chances they extend you, until they dry up and you have to move on.

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...I can be good to my friends.

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And you should!

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Touché

Sixty-nine?

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Nice.

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69. All midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies will be delivered at state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed in foster-homes, not abandoned in the woods to be raised by creatures of the wild.

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I'll get to that the moment I have the state capacity. 

Seventy?

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70. When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of quizzically peering around a corner.

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My guards mostly travel in groups unless they're high-CR solo encounters, but I'm not sure that they keep their eyes on each other constantly enough to distinguish mysterious disappearances from the ordinary sort that responds well to quizzically peering around a corner.

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You should not be describing anyone who works for you as a solo encounter unless you are actively steering for an adventuring party to clear your castle one room at a time.

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Do you know how much the Seneschal of Castle Korvosa is paid? You could get out ahead of your WBL.

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The Queen doesn't appoint the Seneschal, that was a whole plot point in the main continuity.

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Take the title or don't take the title, take the salary or don't take the salary, I'm just saying, you seem to know a lot about defending castles and both Togomor and I seem to know very little about it so if you could take over from us that'd mean a lot to me.

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If you turned to the side of good I'd have no problem helping with your security, and neither would any of the evil geniuses in my rolodex.

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You know Evil geniuses?

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