Accept our Terms of Service
Our Terms of Service have recently changed! Please read and agree to the Terms of Service and the Privacy Policy
In Which Ileosa Arabasti Grows Savvy to the Conventions of her Genre
Next Post »
« Previous Post
Permalink

You've got your Gray Maidens in full-face helmets? That's literally the first entry on

The Top 100 Things I'd Do
If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

Copyright 1996-1997 by Peter Anspach. If you enjoy it, feel free to pass it along or post it anywhere, provided that (1) it is not altered in any way, and (2) this copyright notice is attached.

Total: 366
Posts Per Page:
Permalink

I think that, outside of fiction, this is something which fortress designers are already keeping in mind. What's sixty-three?

Permalink

Sci-fi trope:

63. Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not compactors. And they will be kept hot, with none of that nonsense about flames going through accessible tunnels at predictable intervals.

Permalink

Sixty-four?

Permalink

64. I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage.

Permalink

What's sixty-five?

Permalink

You don't want to talk about sixty-four?

Permalink

I don't want to talk about sixty-four.

Permalink

Do you want to talk about why?

Permalink

Do you want to talk about why you want me to talk about sixty-four? 

Are you looking for weaknesses you can exploit? 

Permalink

What? No! What kind of friend would that make me? 

Permalink

So you just want to have a friendly conversation about my "extremely unusual phobias." 

What are my "extremely unusual phobias," Choryon? What are my "bizarre compulsive habits?"

Why don't you tell me how extremely unusual and bizarre I am.

You know.

As a friend.

Permalink

Hey, we can move on to sixty-five, if you want.

Permalink

"If I want?" I already said I didn't want to talk about sixty-four! You're the one who kept talking about it!

Permalink

I didn't realize it was such a touchy subject!

Permalink

Maybe you should have realized it, then!

Permalink

Hey, now. You're the mind-reader here, not me.

Permalink

It doesn't take detect thoughts to think that your queen might not like being called insane?? 

Permalink

...I should take a walk.

Permalink

No, you should stay here until I'm done talking with you!

Permalink

...

Permalink

I think I've been very patient with you so far. This whole thread has just been one thing after another that I'm supposedly doing wrong. But okay, I'm an adult, I can hear out criticism. I'm not the kind of person who doubles down on their mistakes because that's less painful in the moment than feeling powerless and stupid!

But there comes a time when enough is enough!

Permalink

I didn't get the impression that you were just putting up with hearing the list! I'd have been willing to change topics at any point.

Permalink

Except, apparently, at number sixty-four.

Permalink

65. If I must have computer systems with

Permalink

Don't just - you haven't even acknowledged what you did wrong! 

Total: 366
Posts Per Page: