The Top 100 Things I'd Do
If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

Equipping every Maiden with a permanently Invisible Helm would nearly double the cost of their armor.

Is it better than making their full plate +1? Because she wouldn't - couldn't - shouldn't - pay for everyone to have +1 armor.

Just ditch the helmets entirely - it's not like wearing one changes your AC.

that can't be right

I don't wear a helmet, and it's never bitten me.

...But if it ever had we wouldn't be having this conversation.

I don't feel equipped to argue against anthropic arguments, but I'm telling you, you don't want all-concealing uniforms. 

Inadvisable yet irreplaceable visors do discretely hide Ileosa's fumbling handicraft, though. 

She doesn't mutilate faces to hear every John, Jane, and Art Critic voice their asinine opinion.  

Although, faces aren't the only uniquely identifying part of a man or woman.

That would reduce one's AC, alas.

You're coming to me with problems, not solutions. 

Caaaaaaaaaaaaaarl, you could cool it with the face-carving thing.

You know I can't do that.

What's "carl"?

A llama. 

A llama??

He's supposed to be DEAD!!

???

??????????????????

*wheeze*

You shouldn't laugh at your own jokes.

Somebody has to, and nobody else will.

You can't make me finish UNSONG.

2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

Does that interfere with how well they ventilate? 

Not to my knowledge.

Seems harmless enough to implement. 

What's number three?