...is pretty much everything in the Empire, actually
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"...no, sir."

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One of the few saving graces of paladins is that that's generally enough.

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Yes, she's extremely upset by that.

"It did not occur to me because you want to win the war, sir. Because you want Tar-Baphon defeated, and the Empire safe and free. You care more for that than your own life, I have never doubted it. I knew there was some risk that the Emperor would take away - only the fact of the lies, and not the fact of the emergency, and then we would all die even faster. But when I contemplated the possibility I feared only that it would mean the world fell to Tar-Baphon more surely and more swiftly. It did not seem to me that I was endangering any thing not already in danger, nor that I could wrong you in any way other than by failing and leaving you without the men you need to save the world."
 
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"Knight-Commander, that a man is ready to die for his country and indeed expects to do so in short order does not make him indifferent to being denounced before his Emperor as a traitor. Indeed it usually makes him feel even more strongly about it."

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Heaven knows the truth, and Oppara doesn't even know what truth is. It genuinely hadn't occurred to her as an important difference. "I'm so sorry," she says. "You are right that that particular -  corner of the risk I was incurring would have been of enormous importance to most people, and that I should have thought of it. I - I was already endeavoring with what strength I possessed to avoid that situation, because it would lead to the destruction of everything that matters in the world, but I agree that that is an element of it I was obligated to keep track of, and didn't. I-" and she stops.

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"Go on."

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"I knew the state of the Crusade before I joined, sir. I didn't learn it by your cooperation. I would not have knowingly agreed to be placed in a situation where I could not say 'we have suffered major losses in the Crusade' without betraying you. Having been placed in such a situation it is not clear to me how I ought to weigh the different matters. The apology is for - not having had it clear and in detail among my considerations, for having contemplated trading it with insufficient thought. I'm not actually sure I'd have done anything different, if I thought it would work."

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"If you had asked me what to think of your plans, you would have known that they were not going to work."

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"Yes, sir." But it's the yes of someone restraining herself from saying more.

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"Go on."

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"I would have learned at less expense that my first draft of a plan wouldn't work, and that would have been valuable, and I wish I'd been reading more news from downriver so that I had the context to have that conversation with you before my boat departed. I would have then come up with a second draft of a plan, and brought that one to Oppara. Because in fact we do have to crack Oppara, or we are all going to die."

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"You are forbidden from political or diplomatic communications outside the Crusade. If you write letters with any intended recipient outside the crusade, you will bring them to my staff for review.  If you give speeches with any intended audience outside the crusade, likewise. You are forbidden from visiting Oppara, and should chance or accident or enemy action place you there forbidden from speaking except to identify yourself and refer further questions to me. I have affordance to be this lenient only because Holy Aroden's Church prevented you from wreaking the fairly extraordinary damage that you were positioned to do and that it is quite possible Tar-Baphon himself positioned you to do. Do you understand?"

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"Yes, sir."

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He'd really meant to cool his head from having the first half of this conversation before having the second half of it, perhaps to wait a whole week if he was particularly irritated with the lady knight-commander.

 But there is in fact something distracting about Iomedae's desperation. She wasn't like that when she left for Oppara. It is the desperation of a man awaiting his execution and knowing himself damned; he wouldn't have imagined it possible, on one Aroden had elevated above any terror. She should not actually go speak to her men until she has a handle on herself, and -

"You may ask your questions, now."

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"Does the Emperor understand the situation."

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"The Emperor is very wise, and can infer much from very little information, and is accustomed to reading reports from foreign lands, and can distinguish between the reports of wars going well and wars going poorly. There is no important matter I would say he does not know."

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What was EVEN THE POINT of prohibiting her from speaking to anyone outside the Crusade if they are STILL GOING TO BE DOING THIS. 

 

No. She needs to learn this game. She identified learning this game as her highest priority. Highest priorities cannot survive any indignation; be gone with it. 

 

 

"I was hoping, I think," she says carefully after a moment, "for more reassurance than that."

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"The Empire has wisely and generously sent many brave and good men to the front. That we could put many more men to good use has been communicated; but we, of course, know little of what need there is elsewhere for them. Do you demand of Aroden that He come Himself to save us again, or do you trust Him that He is doing what is best, even if we can barely comprehend it from what we see?"

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"...both."

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"I demand things of Aroden and also I try to keep in mind there might be a good reason He hasn't answered."

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"I think that's heresy even outside Oppara. In any event. One might humbly assume Aroden knows what He's doing, and one might humbly assume the Emperor knows what he's doing, and one might pray and otherwise communicate nonetheless to convey what we need, and one does their duty whether or not they get what they need."

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"It seems to me to be a wrong to the Emperor, to let the Empire be destroyed out of obedience to his will as we can infer it from his actions, if there is even a small chance that he might have, among his many great and important problems, missed some minor detail that would have led him to notice that this is Tar-Baphon and that we cannot stand against him, and thus a chance that his actions might not be the fullest expression of his will."

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"Maybe. But - we may not disobey the Emperor in obedience to some guess we made of his true will. Do you know why?"

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"Because the rule doesn't serve him even if you can think of a case where the decision does. But - I am not sure that applies if one has sufficient grounds to believe the situation is exceptional. 'don't disobey the Emperor's orders in obedience to the Emperor's will, unless Aroden personally told you to do so', is a rule that I would expect to serve him better. If he has stated his rule outright, that's one thing, but if it's a - rule made out of tradition and custom - then I think no tradition and no custom distinguishes those two rules."

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