"Whatever Helen made. Yeah. Okay, thanks!" Hang up. "He'll be here in five minutes."

"Cool." Pause. "Who are Manfred and Helen?"

"Manfred's my butler, Helen's my cook."

"Ah," he nods. "Of course."

"I– have no idea what happened to that sandwich I ate," comments Theo. "'Cause maybe I should eat something now and see if that helps, like, I didn't properly test that."

Phone again. "Bring a snack for a fourth person? And also maybe dessert. Thanks!"

"I– was going to just have a snack but thanks."

"You are going to have a snack, it'll just also be the best snack you've ever had."

"I meant, like, a sandwich. 'Cause I only had a bite out of the other one."

"Yeah, sure, whatever, you're eating whatever Helen's making you, if you don't like it there's something very wrong with you."

"Yeah, like a bad case of 'I dropped dead, yep, yay.'"

"That's no excuse not to appreciate Helen's food."

"I'm sure I'll be able to appreciate it's well made? But I'm a bit impaired in the taste department."

"Apparently everything tastes sort of bland or its constituent parts."

"No excuse!"

He smirks.

"We should probably try to get my non-death announced or something. I doubt the hospital will do it for me unless there's gossip from the doctors or something?"

"Got any plans? Should probably be before the holidays."

"D'you reckon the school'd be willing to do it?"

"Probably? Be really awkward but honestly everything about this situation is."

"Yeah, pretty much."

And presently Manfred has arrived with food that, to the humans, smells absurdly delicious.

"Seems, um, like human food?" Pause. "That I would have enjoyed as a human?"

"Yeah, pretty sure you would."

"And now...?"

"… We eat?"