"We might want to start with someone who seemed likely to be a demon, given that the ability to make blood would be a major boon all by itself if they turn out not to lose the inconveniences."

"Angel could do that too with knowhow and raw material."

"True. Well, if there's someone who particularly stands out as 'not a fairy' I guess that's our man."

"Yeah. It'll take me a while to get all my medicine stuff distributed, though, unless you know someone with a complete non-daeva-based production system for equipment and drugs."

"No, but it would take a while to get word out through the vampire grapevine about this anyway."

"Yeah. Man, 1999, your internet is probably terrible."

"I'm sure your internet will seem terrible to people several centuries in your future too."

"Yes, yes, they'll probably have a workaround for the lightspeed delay or something."

"Besides, most vampires are old. They don't reliably use the internet we have. What I'm going to do is tell Jaromira, and she'll tell Kanimir, and he'll start writing letters to people."

"I actually get a lot of paper letters, but that's because that's the best way for a demon to receive correspondence from distant locales."

"Vampires use them because most of them think the telegraph was a new-fangled invention and not to be trusted, let alone anything else."

"I'm a hundred and seventy-two and I like to stay on the bleeding edge of technology. Are you sure vampirism doesn't cause luddism?"

"Oh, they're not all like that. Jaromira has a cell phone and computer, and Kanimir has his castle wired for internet."

"He has a castle?"

"He has a mansion with castle-like architecture. I call it a castle."

"Aw, I was imagining a version of Pennsylvania with fortified parapets everywhere."

"That would be fantastic and hilarious, but alas no."

"Well, I think I can live with it well enough to not need to go for a flyover and add a bunch."

"Not that I'm not amused by the idea of you being a ridiculous movie thing that happens to people."

"I think I'll manage that without architectural intrusion. But I'm some utopian protagonist, not a serial killer, so."

"To be fair, several of my more improbable encounters did not involve serial killers. But you do you, utopia sounds way better than just not actively malicious."

"I have immense ambitions."

"Good for you."

"Thank you. So how far is the police station?"

"About another five minutes, it looks like."