"Sure. If you don't like someone you turn them into a snail or a magpie or something and they will tend to be much less trouble to you until they can figure out how to get uncursed."

"This has not happened to me, and I have not done it to anyone else," Promise adds.

"I mean, I figured, but - thaaaat's a bit horrific."

"You're the ones who die. I think that's horrific. And you don't even have to annoy anyone for it to happen!"

"Well. Yeah, death - is. I don't like it, either."

"Maybe I can fix it before you die," she murmurs, snuggling him.

"That'd be nice," he says, wistfully. "If you can get my dad and sister, too, I'd miss them."

"If I can manage it I'll immortalize anybody who wants to come here where sorcery works to get it done and who isn't really unappealing to have around forever."

"Aww, that's nice of you."

"Yes. It is."

"Thank you for being nice," says not-Ted, and he nuzzles her.

"You're welcome."