In Love's name and for Love's sake, I assert that I will employ the Art which is its gift in Love's service alone, rejecting all other usages.
I will spread joy and ease pain. I will fight to preserve what loves and rejoices well in its own way, and I will change no object or creature unless its joy and love, or that of the system of which it is part, are threatened.
To these ends, in the practice of my Art, I will put aside despair for hope, and hatred for love, when it is right to do so-- Until Universe's end.
Y/N
"...am I gonna have to go out and have sex? Of course I am. Why am I in a sex wizard game. Whatever, I hope I have better spells later." He would bounce if he could, but he, ah, cannot. So he doesn't. He finishes cleaning up and puts his dick away then ponders. "Do you wanna perhaps give me a quest? I'd love to get experience for going after some sex. It's not like I do that regularly or anything, I'm rusty, might need some help, you know..."
Quest available: Try Hard And Believe In Yourself!
Find three quest-givers. Your quest-givers may be people or objects. Different quest-givers may lead to very different kinds of quests and types of spells.
Success: Six quests.
Failure: Unlock the Wirehead spell cluster.
Accept: Y/N
"You're making fun of me, aren't you? I know you are. I know your game. How do I even fail at this? Is there a time limit of some sort? Surely you're gonna throw quest-givers at me eventually if I just roll around the sidewalk." He taps the 'Y'.
Quest available: Wizard, Heal Thyself
The frontiers of magic have not been mapped, and many maladies cannot yet be fixed. Develop a spell that will cure paraplegia.
Success: +10,000 XP, +4 BOD, +$100,000, the ability to walk
Failure: Acquire status "Wheelchair Woobie"
Accept: Y/N
He stops rolling and stares at it. "Are you fucking with me? You're not. You're being serious. Right? You're being serious?—you're probably not a person. Probably. Who knows what you are." He gingerly taps the 'Y' again.
The purple text disappears. It does not appear inclined to comment on how serious it is. It also does not appear inclined to give Oliver a new quest unless he goes out there and gets it himself.
Yeah, that's fine. Alright.—oh, wait, he forgot his phone in the bathroom.
...and now he's acutely aware of how annoying it is to be wheelchair-bound. He was having a good day, he had barely thought of it at all. He's not likely to complain at the game about it, though, it reminded him by telling him he can be cured. With magic. He doesn't have the first clue how he'll do this but he bets sex is going to be involved.
Sigh. Roll roll roll to phone, roll roll roll to wallet, roll roll out, lock the door, call the elevator.
He blinks. "Good afternoon," he says, smiling up at her and rolling into the elevator. "Pardon me for the inconvenience."
"I probably shouldn't tell you that either." She has bruises. They're not very well-hidden by her dress. They don't look like they're in the sort of place sexy bruises would be. She is also, upon closer examination, wearing a rather excessive amount of eye makeup.
The elevator dings. She flees without bothering to check whether she has the right floor.
Out of her pocket flutters a business card for T. C. Coil's Escort Agency.
Quest available: T. C. Coil's Escort Agency
Most escort agencies are run by decent people who are just trying to make a living simplifying client screening and booking for sex workers. T. C. Coil's Escort Agency is not most escort agencies.
Infiltrate the agency as client or sex worker and bring him to justice.
Success: +200 XP, increased relationships with the sex worker faction.
Failure: +$10,000, increased relationships with the police faction.
Accept Y/N
Quest updated: Try Hard and Believe In Yourself!
1/3 quest-givers 1/6 quests
He blinks. What. The. Fuck. The police is in on it?
He is a fucking wizard and he is going to wizard it up and, and, and he has no idea how he'd do that, his only spell other than the starting ones is one to jerk off nicely and he can't walk—
—well, that'd make it fairly easy to pretend to be a client, wouldn't it. And besides: fuck the police. He accepts the quest and rolls on, because this is his floor.
A spell has been unlocked by a special action! Accepting an altruistic quest despite having no idea of how to do it has unlocked the spell Determination!
...this is pretty fucking broken. He likes it.
He grabs his phone and calls an Uber, wheelchair-accessible please.
A spell has been unlocked by a special action! Calling an Uber has unlocked the spell Calling an Uber!
Calling an Uber: LVL 1. Passive.
When you call an Uber, Lyft, taxi, or other driving service, a wheelchair-accessible car will always be within five minutes of your location. The driver will pick you up at your exact location and drop you off exactly where you want to go. The car will play the music you most feel like listening to. While the driver will default to not talking, he, she, and/or they will be attractive, interested in you, and up for road head.
...that's awesome and a bit worrying about the fabric of the universe but still awesome. He waits for his Uber.
His Uber arrives promptly! The driver is, mm, quite attractive, if Oliver would like to take his newfound bisexuality out for a spin.
...he might. He's finding himself horny again. "Afternoon," he says, trying to be plausibly-deniably-unsubtle about checking the driver out. That's how you flirt, right?