In Love's name and for Love's sake, I assert that I will employ the Art which is its gift in Love's service alone, rejecting all other usages.
I will spread joy and ease pain. I will fight to preserve what loves and rejoices well in its own way, and I will change no object or creature unless its joy and love, or that of the system of which it is part, are threatened.
To these ends, in the practice of my Art, I will put aside despair for hope, and hatred for love, when it is right to do so-- Until Universe's end.
Y/N
"You're literally offering me magic, trust me I'm not unwilling, I just—well, guess I'm adding stat points, aren't I?"
Well... He doesn't like ugly numbers. He'll add two points to ART and then... three to LUV. He doesn't know what build he's going for, yet, but the first level's points shouldn't be that important, not if he's getting five points every level, right? Unless leveling up is super hard. It probably isn't, though.
Nothing happens.
If he had wanted proof of the Erogame's powers, he probably should have raised BOD. Or SED. Something easily checkable.
He may feel a slightly insistent warmth around his genitals. If there happens to be a mirror nearby, when he glances in it he'll notice that he's attractive.
Oliver waits a bit longer for—something, anything. But no, all he is is horny.
Well. He knows how to take care of that. He rolls back away from his desk then towards his bathroom, and happens to glance at a mirror, and—
—well.
Well.
The game seems to have made him bisexual. Either that or he became much prettier but he never did find men attractive in anything other than a vaguely abstract way. So maybe he should find some different porn than he usually goes for. He's already getting hard just from the thought of it—is that the LUV stat? A bit misnamed, if so. But he doesn't mind the effects. He's rubbing himself through his pants before he's closed and locked the door, but after he does he unzips and takes his cock out and—yep. Bisexual. That's a nice cock he has, there, its tip glistening with precum—he wonders what it tastes like, he never wondered before—he's not flexible enough to suck himself but that's suddenly a very appealing thought.
He grabs his phone and starts browsing—how does one look for gay porn? Maybe some major porn site has a gay porn section—aha, yes it does. He licks his lips, browsing for videos with his right hand while using his left hand to lightly stroke himself. He glances at the mirror again, and bites his lower lip at the sight—the game's right, he is rather cute, isn't he? Holding his dick, looking vaguely flushed with arousal, feeling vaguely naughty for feeling attracted to himself. Maybe twincest porn would be hot? He's not sure, perhaps he should start with something tamer. He glances down at his phone again and finds something cute with mild plot, two cute boys play fighting then jerking each other off...
He thinks he can spend some time here.
He may notice that he is much better at jerking off than he used to be. Almost as if an omnipotent being has granted him powers which, among other things, include an instinctive knowledge of how to touch cocks.
Is that ART? That's probably ART. This video is making him want to stick something into his ass, which is a first for him, at least in anything other than a clinical, scientific way. But it sounds unhygienic and also he cannot actually move his legs to do it, so, he'll just keep jerking.
He gets closer to his climax, and makes a conscious effort to pay attention to how it feels—not as someone being masturbated, but as someone masturbating. He feels the skin of his dick in his hand and looks down at the bulging shaft filling his hand. He stops jerking to take a good look at it, from various angles, rubbing himself lightly with his fingers. He pulls on his skin, pulling the foreskin all the way back, and feels a shiver go down his spine and stomach—
—he quickly fetches some toilet paper and comes into it, groaning slightly, his phone forgotten on the bathroom counter playing the porn video to no one.
Holy crap that was the best orgasm of his life.
Quest completed: Self-Care.
You can't love others without loving yourself.
Goal #1 complete: Cause yourself the most intense physical pleasure (in some domain) of your life. +15 XP
Hidden goal #2 complete: Complete this quest before it's assigned. +5 XP
A spell has been unlocked by a special action! Giving yourself the best orgasm of your life has unlocked the spell Masturbate.
Your skill at masturbation has increased LUV by 1!
...ooh he can raise stats by doing stuff, right! And he has quests! But what the heck kinda spell is Masturbate, he already knew how to do that.
Well, the menu was, uh... "Manual, spells?" he tries saying out loud.
Masturbate: LVL 1, Active. 1 D | S / orgasm.
Birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it, but you can do it better than any of them. While this spell is active, you will have an instinctive sense of how best to touch yourself for exquisite pleasure and amazing orgasms.
Overuse of this spell may result in unlocking the Wirehead spell cluster.
Masturbating is a spell. That's ridiculous and awesome. "Okay, how do I get more spells?"
The Erogame is sure you can figure out how to get more spells if you try hard and believe in yourself.
"...am I gonna have to go out and have sex? Of course I am. Why am I in a sex wizard game. Whatever, I hope I have better spells later." He would bounce if he could, but he, ah, cannot. So he doesn't. He finishes cleaning up and puts his dick away then ponders. "Do you wanna perhaps give me a quest? I'd love to get experience for going after some sex. It's not like I do that regularly or anything, I'm rusty, might need some help, you know..."
Quest available: Try Hard And Believe In Yourself!
Find three quest-givers. Your quest-givers may be people or objects. Different quest-givers may lead to very different kinds of quests and types of spells.
Success: Six quests.
Failure: Unlock the Wirehead spell cluster.
Accept: Y/N
"You're making fun of me, aren't you? I know you are. I know your game. How do I even fail at this? Is there a time limit of some sort? Surely you're gonna throw quest-givers at me eventually if I just roll around the sidewalk." He taps the 'Y'.
Quest available: Wizard, Heal Thyself
The frontiers of magic have not been mapped, and many maladies cannot yet be fixed. Develop a spell that will cure paraplegia.
Success: +10,000 XP, +4 BOD, +$100,000, the ability to walk
Failure: Acquire status "Wheelchair Woobie"
Accept: Y/N
He stops rolling and stares at it. "Are you fucking with me? You're not. You're being serious. Right? You're being serious?—you're probably not a person. Probably. Who knows what you are." He gingerly taps the 'Y' again.
The purple text disappears. It does not appear inclined to comment on how serious it is. It also does not appear inclined to give Oliver a new quest unless he goes out there and gets it himself.
Yeah, that's fine. Alright.—oh, wait, he forgot his phone in the bathroom.
...and now he's acutely aware of how annoying it is to be wheelchair-bound. He was having a good day, he had barely thought of it at all. He's not likely to complain at the game about it, though, it reminded him by telling him he can be cured. With magic. He doesn't have the first clue how he'll do this but he bets sex is going to be involved.
Sigh. Roll roll roll to phone, roll roll roll to wallet, roll roll out, lock the door, call the elevator.
He blinks. "Good afternoon," he says, smiling up at her and rolling into the elevator. "Pardon me for the inconvenience."
"I probably shouldn't tell you that either." She has bruises. They're not very well-hidden by her dress. They don't look like they're in the sort of place sexy bruises would be. She is also, upon closer examination, wearing a rather excessive amount of eye makeup.