Zero interest.

"Info, perks, Srs Bsns." No, he's not sure how he pronounced that either.

Info // Perks

>> Starting (1)
>> BOD (7)
>> LST (7)
>> SED (12)
>> FUK (8)
>> PRV (6)
>> ERO (27)
>> Genre (34)
>> Meta (7)
<< Srs Bsns (9)
[] Erogame What Erogame (2 fragments)

You forget that the Erogame exists. The game automatically levels up, distributes stat points, selects perks, accepts quests, and invokes skills in whichever way it thinks will make your sex life the most interesting.

[] Goodbye (1 point)

You may enter any one fictional continuum at the place and time of your choice, arriving in your current form and with your Erogamer powers. You cannot displace an existing character unless you choose to arrive at the time of an extrauniversal summoning, such as by Louise the Zero. You arrive without your metafictional knowledge of the continuum, and able to speak and write the local language.

You cannot ever return to the real world. Even if the fictional continuum includes a 'real world' to return to, you will only return to the 'real world' of that fiction. In the true real world, nobody will ever know what happened to you, and any quests that would have depended on you will fail.

[] No (1 point)

Choose one event to disallow either prospectively, or retroactively up to 24 hours earlier. The event will not happen, either then or at any time in the future. Ongoing processes are not 'events', but their starting points may be considered so.

You cannot take this perk more than once.

[] Sin of (1 point)

You may take this perk only once. Choose:

—Envy: Take over another person's life. Everyone in the world now believes unshakably that you are they. The displaced person no longer exists.
—Gluttony: You never get tired, bored, or over-satiated during any pleasurable act, no matter how long it continues. You may accumulate unlimited DOM and SUB from such acts.
—Greed: You find a winning lottery ticket with the lump-sum cash payout option selected. After all taxes are paid, your after-tax winnings are a bit over $100,000,000.
—Lust: At will, you may temporarily increase your LST and/or PRV to any higher level you wish, for as long as you wish, up to a maximum of 100.
—Pride: All stats and skills increase faster.
—Sloth: Removes all time limits for acceptance or completion of quests. Negates or softens all other visible deadlines for accomplishing anything within the Erogame or your life.
—Wrath: Instantly kill anyone you choose. Bypassing quest challenges in this way will reduce their rewards. You may invoke this perk an unlimited number of times.

[] Slightly Smarter (1 point)

The cognitive subprocesses comprising your soul improve slightly in efficiency and computational power, corresponding to a rough gain of 3 points of IQ as it would be measured by contemporary tests. This increase in intelligence is not a game feature; it is real and applies to the true inner you.

You may take this perk more than once. This perk is incompatible with Slightly Stupider, and you cannot choose one after having taken the other.

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...wow, that's some pretty srs bsns.

He wants Sin of Greed. But... he's already got Sally. But he could stop mooching off her. But she doesn't care. And this feels like a trap, somehow. He doesn't know why the Erogame would want to trap him, but this section is creepy.

"Next," he says, shaking his head vigorously.

Info // Perks

>> Starting (1)
>> BOD (7)
>> LST (7)
>> SED (12)
>> FUK (8)
>> PRV (6)
>> ERO (27)
>> Genre (34)
>> Meta (7)
<< Srs Bsns (9)
[] Slightly Stupider (1 point)

The cognitive subprocesses comprising your soul decrease slightly in efficiency and computational power, corresponding to a rough loss of 3 points of IQ as it would be measured by contemporary tests. This decrease in intelligence is not a game feature; it is real and applies to the true inner you.

Gain two additional perk points, for a net gain of one perk.

You may take this perk any number of times, but you must have one perk point available to start each such series. This perk is incompatible with Slightly Smarter, and you cannot choose one after having taken the other.

[] Soulbond (1 point + 2 fragments)

If your love for someone is true, and they return that love, this perk creates a symmetrical emotional and telepathic bond between your soul and theirs, which will deepen over time if your love stays true. Both sides of the relationship are automatically protected as if by True Love Conquers All.

Failure of this bond does not refund the perk and may have psychological consequences. It goes without saying that Off Switch cannot apply to soulbonds. Consider staying married for a couple of centuries first.

This perk may be taken more than once.

[] Subspace Explorer (2 points)

If a BDSM session puts you deep enough into subspace, you can travel within it across vast distances of probability and possibility to visit other worlds. All alien societies connected to subspace have their own equivalents of BDSM, ensuring that you can always return home.

Minimum ERO: 100

[] Truth (1 point)

Regardless of any other Erogame perks taken and any other powers affecting you, you regain your memories of who you really are, what really happened, and what reality was like before. No further such effects can deceive you. Think hard before taking this perk.

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...he is tempted by Slightly Stupider. Why is he tempted. That is a bad kink and it should stop. He hits it on the head with a rolled-up newspaper until it goes away.

Then he thinks about his options.

Well, when it comes down to it, he's gotta pick something. He picks Naked Before Me and goes to sleep, thinking of the things he'll do to Eric tomorrow.

The next day he wakes up, slips on his shoes and socks, picks up his backpack, and heads downstairs.

He's got a big day ahead of him.

As luck would have it, Eric's manning the desk, wearing a suit and looking very prim and not at all like he just had a night of debauchery and indulgence.

Ari sits on his desk.

"Hey there, loverboy."

He sighs. "Mr. Kaltmann, I am at work now. If you want to pleasure me sexually, please do so from under the desk."

"But I wanted to show you something."

Ari slips over the desk and reaches down and-

right through Eric's pants, and wraps his fingers around his cock.

Eric already had a boner.

He jumps, and looks down, and then up at Ari, eyes widening. "What."

"How's that for impossible?"

With his other hand he tweaks Eric's nipple.

He looks down again, and at Ari again. Literally speechless.

Quest completed: Do Something Impossible

You have proved Eric wrong. He now believes you! Congratulations(?).

+1,000xp, +1 ERO, increased relations with Eric Jones

Ari kisses him. That is a face that needs kissing.

He kisses back, almost on instinct, and his cock twitches in Ari's hand while his nipple hardens.

Ari strokes him smoothly.

Then he breaks away. "Now, didn't you make me a promise?"

That snaps him out of it and his baseline look of smooth annoyance returns. "Yes, Mr. Kaltmann, why do you think my penis is in such a state? Now bend the fuck over."

Ari bends the fuck over.

Meanwhile Eric gets up and starts kicking his clothes off because who the hell even cares by now, he just saw Ariel fucking Kaltmann literally reach through his clothes to grab his cock. Is he in the X-Men or something now? He doesn't even know. Off goes the jacket and the tie and the shirt, with the ease of someone who's used to wearing suits every day and getting out of them every evening, and then his shoes and socks and trousers and oops he was commando today again who'da thunk.

"Do you even need condoms anymore?" he wonders, stroking himself and reaching with his other hand between Ari's cheeks to slide two fingers in.

"No, sir."

"Then I am going to fuck you raw over my desk," he says softly before pulling the fingers away and sticking his cock in with no prelude or preparation.

Ari is Naturally Lubricated, and he is very fucking happy.

Eric notes that his prediction that Ari wouldn't need lubrication was confirmed, idly, in the back of his mind. Most of his mind, however, is focused on slamming the blond against the desk as hard as he can. He wraps both arms around Ari's midsection, reaching down with his right hand to stroke him, and starts nibbling on bits of skin around Ari's very expansive back.

"Fuck me, Mr. Jones," Ari moans loudly, arching up into Eric as much as he can.