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This is the wrong building. She could have sworn the RA said "take a left at Emily, first on your right", and Bella did exactly that, and here she is and the rooms in this place don't even seem to be numbered, it's all letters and names. She's not going to find Intro to Subtle Therapy in Room 206 like that. Maybe the RA meant take a left after Emily, not before Emily? Maybe she was supposed to go the other way around the quad and approach Emily from the other direction? She's going to be late.
Bella tries to get out of the letter-named-rooms building to go ask Emily for directions, but that's not a stairwell after all, and there's someone shouting at her not to come in and she flinches back and clonks her elbow on the door and boots or no boots she's down and she -
- is falling -
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subtly_artistic
"I'm not, but they're also not allowed to stop me."
subtly_artistic
"...That doesn't seem like a very sensible way to have a rule set up."
"If I had to do all the things Father says I have to do I'd die, because he doesn't let me ever be alone or ever leave the palace or find things on my own to study because he's sad because I drove my mother away and scared because of the Outer Lands.
I need to be alone, sometimes, need it like my head will explode otherwise, and sometimes I need to see new things or talk to new people, and if I tell people what to do they do what they're told and I get in trouble for breaking the rule but they don't get in trouble and I only do it when it's worth it."
I need to be alone, sometimes, need it like my head will explode otherwise, and sometimes I need to see new things or talk to new people, and if I tell people what to do they do what they're told and I get in trouble for breaking the rule but they don't get in trouble and I only do it when it's worth it."
subtly_artistic
"That is a really horrible situation for you and you shouldn't have to be in it and I'm sorry."
"It's my fault. Before my mother got sick he was happy and there weren't any rules at all except the one about not being alone because of the Outer Lands."
subtly_artistic
"It is not your fault. She's sick; you did not do anything to make that happen."
"She got sick having me, and she doesn't like me and that made her worse."
subtly_artistic
"That doesn't make it your fault. You didn't decide to be born."
He is quiet for a long time.
"I would have, though. I like being alive."
And then he starts crying again, leaps off the wall, and leaves.
"I would have, though. I like being alive."
And then he starts crying again, leaps off the wall, and leaves.
He doesn't answer.
subtly_artistic
And he still has her pen.
She can't quite decide if she thinks this was a ploy to walk off with her pen or not, but frankly she's okay with letting it work if it was. It would, after all, be kind of cool if random twigs in Lorien leaked black sap onto paper when written with.
She goes back to the garden.
How is he? Rúmil asks. You can tell us that one because you're not his therapist, right?
subtly_artistic
I'm not his therapist. He - changes moods really quick, sometimes - ran off before I could mention smoke signals. With my pen.
Finwë can give him a talk about taking peoples' things.
subtly_artistic
I'm not even sure he meant to take it, although it crossed my mind, he's twisty enough. I don't think adding more talks from Finwë is going to improve that situation.
We can't let the crown prince be a thief.
subtly_artistic
The crown prince shouldn't be a lot of things and I suspect there's enough of them going on here that addressing them in the wrong order will be worse than useless.
He nods in acknowledgement. Which would you address first?
subtly_artistic
Well, I'm sort of hoping I can fix Miriel and all the other problems evaporate on their own. Failing that - not sure, would need to think about it more.
It shouldn't fall on you. But it's been a concern of mine for some time, and you're both close to his age and much much more mature, so you might be able to do things about it.
We all grew up in the Outer Lands, we all have the same paranoias. If you think it won't work, it's absolutely not your responsibility. He may stabilize as he gets older anyway.