I also desperately want to go rescue all the people of your world, but it sounds like that's not very feasible.

Oh, yeah, that would be - really risky. And I don't know how to get back.

And Valinor is protected against the Outer Lands with magic such that one can't just waltz on out.

Makes sense.

What would you have done with your life, if your universe didn't mind people exploring it?

I don't know. The science thing was never my main problem; my main problem was hubris.

You don't strike me as an arrogant person at all.

Well, I've worked on that, you see.

Laughter. Then I'd say you've succeeded.

Is hubris dangerous here too or is that also just my own awful world?

I mean, you might annoy people if you think too highly of yourself. In the outer lands if you thought you could win a fight you couldn't win you'd, well, lose. I can't think of any structural ways one is disadvantaged by hubris, though.

I mean, those things aren't the major problem I had with it, I'm all for accurate self-assessment, the major problem is that powerful beings don't like it if regular people get uppity and 'uppity' can mean 'being actually arrogant in some way' but it can also mean 'feeling entitled not to be slaughtered by divinely-appointed natural disasters' or 'thinking it's unfair that fae can disproportionately retaliate against people being slightly rude to them' or 'wanting to be powerful enough not to have to worry about that, but not being there yet'.

...no, those things wouldn't be problems. I think Nerdanel at one point told Aulë she wanted to be a Vala when she grew up and he said they'd be delighted to have her but it'd interfere with her plan to have ten children - the Valar can't, you see. People can't become Ainur, we're fundamentally different kinds of being, but you wouldn't get struck down for wanting.

What if I don't want to have children? Or have all the ones I want and then am, you know, still alive, because I'm here and not at home.

He snorts. I still think we're a different kind of thing. You could probably pick any particular trait the Ainur have which you'd desire and then learn how to do that.

She giggles.

Did you just want to be powerful so powerful things couldn't kill you without thinking twice? Or did you want something else from it?

No, I wanted to - do things. I didn't want powerful things to kill other people either.

A commendably consistent opinion on the matter of innocent people being randomly murdered.

Giggle.

Here they aren't, and you still sounded tempted.

I think I just sort of generally want to be able to do things if things to do come up, to already be ready for them?

That makes sense. Wanting to feel like you matter doesn't go away when it stops being life-or-death.

Mm-hm.

When I saw you you looked utterly miserable. Doing a little better?