"There are... two types of war, I suppose. There's the more civilized type kind of war Drakes, Gnolls and humans tend to conduct, where there are rough forms of rules armies are expected to abide by, and everything is... predictable. The kind that ends in peace treaties and concessions and changes to the border, but low civilian casualties. Refugees—do happen, and sacks do happen, and mass exoduses, but no one's going to object to sheltering of refugees.
"I expect the generals will want you to take Pallass' side in that kind of war, impede enemy movement on our roads, help supply our armies, and so on. I expect they will be satisfied with you providing ordinary services to our military but denying it to enemies'. I think they will grudgingly accept if you decline service to all war operations, or only service defensive operations. I nonconfidently predict they'll be unhappy if you want to provide service to all passing militaries regardless of affiliation, even though it's technically as symmetric."
"There's the other kind of war, which is wars of... annihilation, let's say, or destructive conquest. Fighting the Necromancer, or the Goblin Lord, who made serious attempts at conquering Izril, and in the former case raising everyone as his undead slaves. Wars where when they take a city, you expect everyone left is enslaved or dead at the end of the day. The city will be upset if you decline service in those cases, and even more upset if you want to help the invaders.
"There's the obvious issue that the line between the two is unclear and the military has an incentive to argue it's the latter at all times. You might prefer to set an agnostic baseline—not assisting any foreign incursions or actively impeding Pallassian military operations, for example—and negotiate any additional work on a case-by-case basis."