leave of absence | Glowfic Constellation

purposeful_glory

"Not until he kills more people than he saves-according-to-my-guesswork. To oversimplify considerably."

"I'd bet you that will happen by the end of this century, but I don't have anything at all to my name."

purposeful_glory

"I'm a little short on things I'm willing to stake, myself. I am not infallible. But there seemed to be reasons to heal him and if I must have a bias it will be in favor of healing." Shrug. "I used to sneak into hospitals and heal people without even learning their names."

"That makes a lot of sense. It's better that most people live. Just not someone who you'd specifically been told was a mass murderer twice over."

purposeful_glory

"It's occurred to me to wonder what would have happened if my sister had somehow landed among you instead of me."

"You have a sister? Lucky you. I have three brothers."

purposeful_glory

"I have a sister. Thor. She wouldn't have been able to heal anyone in the host, although she could have flown ahead and fetched back something to eat and would have done so. She would not have wondered much about the politics of it. She would have thought you seemed like very nice people who had been very badly wronged and would not have felt the need to complicate the situation, and while I am not sure she would have suggested going and massacring Fëanor's people it would not have been hard to talk her into it. And it would have been easy because her hammer, in addition to letting her fly, can control lightning. They would all be dead, because she's never been in a fight that was both real and non-lethal and restraining her mid-combat if anyone had a second thought would have been impossible. And then she would have killed orcs, and she wouldn't have been able to save them even if she'd wondered about the possibility, which I doubt; and she would almost certainly have challenged the Enemy directly within a week of her arrival and I don't know if he can take a direct lightning strike or a hit from a hammer that treats inertia like its plaything or not, but she would have tried..."

"Oh," she says.

"You're really going to hate me now but that sounds pretty great. I mean, I don't blame you for not being able to do it, but the Enemy dead in a week would make everything else worth it, and I'm not sure he could survive that. And there are no innocents in the Fëanorian camp - your sister wouldn't have killed children, would she? The rest of them all fought at Alqualondë, all torched their ships while we were waiting for them in Araman."

purposeful_glory

"I've never seen her on a battlefield with children present, although if she found herself on Jotunheim for some insane reason I wouldn't put it past her to kill juvenile frost giants. Your species doesn't look like frost giants, so it's not unlikely she'd leave the children alone, at least anyone smaller than yea high who wasn't brandishing a weapon - and boys a little older than that unless she'd really cottoned on that the local gender roles are different. And maybe it would have been worth it to have the Enemy dead; but Thor could do that herself more easily than I and you got me, not her. I might be able to do it too, but it might turn out I need Fëanor."

She shakes her head. "Then I hope he's worth it, and that you keep in mind that you're not using a sword but a forest fire."

purposeful_glory

"It's a mind I might need to use, and those are notoriously difficult to pick up and wield. But I am convinced that his is aimed at the Enemy and willing to cooperate with mine."

"And the minds of everyone who died at Alqualondë? Everyone who died on the Ice? Findekáno had a sister-in-law, Elenwë, a good friend of mine, who was the most gifted mathematician of our generation and also the kindest, most immediately compassionate, most good person I have ever known. You arrived too late to choose between having Fëanor or having her. But you are making choices like that, every minute that his heart is still beating."

purposeful_glory

"Please, point me at anyone who I might need to bodyguard and consult on the problem! I am eager to have more resources!" exclaims Loki. "I can hardly have too many and I cannot reasonably expect to sway Fëanor on behalf of someone I have not met and cannot defend the strategic value of!"

She shakes her head. "I'll keep that in mind, and let you know."

purposeful_glory

"Thank you."

"I'll also convey to my brothers that we have cousins."

purposeful_glory

"Thank you," repeats Loki.

She attempts a smile, stands up, and disappears between the overstuffed wagons.

purposeful_glory

And Loki walks more or less aimlessly along the line of host.

Findekáno appears at her shoulder almost silently. "Hey."

purposeful_glory

"Hello."

"I heard your meditation on what would have happened if we'd gotten your sister. I think it is very good that we got you. And that's not misplaced sympathy for the other host, it's - trying to imagine what kind of world we would have built, if your sister won.

You were right about everything you said to me on the ice. I apologize for wasting so much time that could have been spent filling you in on family politics and the enemy's capabilities on stupid, misplaced bitterness."

purposeful_glory

"Thank you. Although I hope I haven't prejudiced you too badly against my sister, who is in most ways a lovely person when she isn't screaming her way into battle as though she's the embodiment of Asgard's feminine ideal."

"I've heard much worse descriptions of people and found them well worth meeting.

Speaking of which." He squares his shoulders. "Artanis - is one of the people you should be protecting, if necessary, and relying on for intellectual problems. She's brilliant. That's the reason she and my uncle hated each other back before they invented good reasons. She is friendless and surrounded by enemies, here, people who she tried to kill and who are tolerating her because we feel so guilty about killing her family, and frankly she's not going to be any easier to work with than Fëanor, but."

purposeful_glory