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this is what I'm doing instead of tagging my threads, apparently
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"Choose a number for us, Leah!"

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She should stop now. Even if she trusts Chrissi, what if it's only going to be okay because she drops out when the last box available is Intelligence, like a reasonable person.

"Sixteen."

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"And you have a hundred million dollars!"

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Fifty/fifty shot. 

"Twenty-four."

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"Bad luck, Leah. Or good luck, depending on your point of view. You will NOT be a billionaire. You will be a bimbo! And I'm sure everyone is looking forward to taking you down a peg."

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"By popular demand, and for the first time ever, Bimbo or Billionaire is going to allow voting on the nature of the Intelligence decrease."

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"The audience has been unreasonably nice to me, so I'm desperately hoping that there will be one option that's okay. I feel like an idiot. I don't know that Intelligence will do anything to me, because I already feel like the stupidest person imaginable."

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"Our first choice is Born Sexy Yesterday. All of Leah's episodic memory will be wiped, as will her semantic memory about everything except medicine. Her procedural memory will remain intact. With Born Sexy Yesterday, Leah will be adorably naive about the world. Everything from the color of the sky to ice cream to the existence of orgasms will be a glorious surprise. Whether he wants to shape her into his perfect dominant or just show someone Star Wars for the first time, whoever picks Born Sexy Yesterday will be delighted."

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"I can live with that, I think. It could be worse. Caiden Callahan will babysit me and I don't think he'll abuse it. Losing everything I've spent my life learning would really hurt. I am angry at myself. I value all my semantic and episodic memory at more than ninety million dollars."

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"Our second choice is Dazed and Confused. With Dazed and Confused, Leah will struggle to focus on anything other than sex and medicine. All other thoughts will seem boring and hard, and she'll be easily distracted away from them by thoughts of orgasms. Force her to concentrate on something boring and hard, and you'll quickly find her blowing you so she doesn't have to think about it anymore. If you enjoy your bimbos with their characteristic blank expression, Dazed and Confused is for you!"

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"I am begging you not to choose that one. I don't have any bribes I can offer the audience. You guys want me to be a dominatrix. I can't be a dominatrix if I'm Dazed and Confused. Please choose something else."

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"Our third choice is Supersmart Superslut. With Supersmart Superslut, Leah's working memory, creativity, rationality, and general intelligence will increase the hornier she is, up to a maximum of three standard deviations above her current standard. Horniness will never distract her from her current intellectual project. Whether she chooses orgasm denial or having someone between her legs licking her whenever she does original research, Supersmart Superslut means that she never has to choose between sex and books."

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"I would like that one, please. I still don't have anything to bribe you guys with. Born Sexy Yesterday is livable but Supersmart Superslut is good. My life would actually be better with this one in it."

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"Our fourth choice is"-- the host blinks at the sheet in confusion-- "John von Neumann? John von Neumann raises all aspects of Leah's intelligence by two standard deviations, which is calculated to make her one of the smartest people of all time. It does stack with Supersmart Superslut, potentially making Leah temporarily smarter than the most intelligent baseline human who has ever lived or will ever live, at least for short periods. I have to say, I have no idea why you would choose this one. It isn't even hot? Why do you want her to think so many thoughts about physics and math, when she has breasts?"

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"I am so happy about this option existing that even Speaking Your Mind won't help me form sentences. I love you, Chrissi."

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"Thank you!!!" Chrissi says. "I love you too. Or at least I love your pussy, which is kind of like loving you. Can I lick Leah now?"

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"Maybe if the voters are wise and make her Dazed and Confused."

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The time it takes for the vote to come in is the longest of her life. It feels almost like it must be five months or something. 

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"And we have-- a tie! John von Neumann and Supersmart Superslut."

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"I am the luckiest girl to ever live."

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The pink fog passes over her mind for the last time.

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"I don't feel immediately smarter. I don't know what I expected being smart to feel like, but I feel like I expected it to feel like something. Can someone give me a crossword puzzle please? Or some other useful measure of fluid intelligence?"

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"Unfortunately for the crossword puzzle fetishists in our audience, most of our viewers are not here to watch hot girls solve crossword puzzles. So that's a wrap for tonight! Thank you for playing... Bimbo or Billionaire!"

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