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this is what I'm doing instead of tagging my threads, apparently
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"I'm not following."

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"Sasha liked me, apparently. You listened to me on podcasts. I assume you would have slept with me even if I weren't a hot demoness with big breasts."

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"That is true."

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"So it wasn't being ugly that was ever the problem. It was being something that I want to call 'shy' but that Speaking Your Mind is making me call 'scared.' I was scared of people. I cut myself off from relationships with people so they couldn't judge me, and wound up never being friends with anyone at all. I could have had this all along, if I were braver, and then I would be able to have a breakdown and interrupt myself instead of having to speak in perfectly correct grammar."

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Oh no, feelings, he's bad at feelings. 

He will try... hugs? Do hugs help?

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Hugs just seem to make Leah cry harder.

"Having someone who hugs me when I cry was never actually gated behind being hot. It wasn't."

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"This... is true?" he tries. "Most people haven't been bodywarped at all and yet they find partners all right?"

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"Maybe the mind control was necessary, because Speaking Your Mind is the only way that I'll actually tell the truth to anyone instead of trapping myself in a maze of self-doubt, self-hatred, and social phobia."

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"Women really will go on a morally reprehensible mind-control sex game show to avoid going to therapy?"

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That makes Leah laugh, a sort of hiccup between sobs. "Thank you." 

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He starts to run his fingers through her feathers. As he strokes, the feathers gently slip back into place, like running his fingers through water. He tugs lightly at the ones that are slightly crooked in order to straighten them. 

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"That feels good. I like that."

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Then he just has to keep stroking his fingers through her back. 

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"I'm going back on the show."

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"What?"

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"The voters don't seem to have it out for me the way they do for other people on the show. I went on this show as a self-destructive spiral, but I'm coming out of it hot, rich, and finally able to be honest about anything. The mental changes I have-- Speaking Your Mind, Free Use, even Gothic Splendor-- are good for me."

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"Proper English?"

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"They can't all be winners. I was worried about losing my Intelligence. However, if what Chrissi says is true, the show just isn't going to destroy my life. The voters aren't friendly by coincidence. They're friendly for a reason, perhaps even a metacausal reason. I don't know what metacausality is."

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"I don't think Chrissi does either."

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"I think that, if I go out there and finish the show, at worst the changes will be livable. At best, I'll be an emotionally functional billionaire."

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"This seems like a stupid idea!"

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"You're a feminist, aren't you? If it's my body, then it's my choice."

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"Come on, Proper English, what I was trying to say is a common slogan. You don't have to make it grammatical."

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"I'm still allowed to think the choice is stupid. --I think."

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"If your favorite economist turns into Chrissi, you can tell me 'I told you so' in between performing irrumatio on me."

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