Kib in Arda
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"What happened?"

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Kib passes the letter via the golem. "The Charp got the Elves talking to the humans and the Elves opened with 'you are gullible and stupid' and it's a golem not a person it just translated..."

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He reads it. "Gorthaur."

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"I noticed the matching syllable, yeah."

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"It's the Thindarin."

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"This tell us anything useful about his fucking-with-humans tactics?"

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"If I thought this were real my first guess would be that he's the King of humans. Fits his style."

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"Delightful."

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"And there's nothing at all we can do."

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"Well, if I drop into Evil Governor mode for a minute we could help the Elves, wipe out his shiny human resources which he apparently wants for some reason."

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"If we even can, it might just prompt him to actually fight and I'm not sure we could take him with the whole army - actually, no, I am sure we could take him with the whole army. But not with anything short of that."

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"The fuck was Eru thinking," mutters Kib. "Putting them there near the least helpful possible neighbors - could have put them thataway," he gestures, "we could've looked after them from day one..."

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"Yep. Wouldn't even have been clueless either about Arda things like breeding or about human things like physical limitations and mortality..."

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"Argh."

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"When my father has the means to injure Thauron. Not before then."

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"At which time we injure the fuck out of Thauron."

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"If it's sufficiently humiliating that'll incline me towards believing this is real, he'd have a hard time orchestrating a hallucination of his own humiliating defeat."

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"Well, that's encouraging. - Does your family know you think you're hallucinating?"

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"Yes. They're really good at thinking of solutions, it would have been silly to withhold it."

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"Yeah, I'd been assuming they would, just realized I'd never confirmed it."

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"You don't talk with them much. Busy?"

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"Yeah," Kib sighs.

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"I shouldn't keep you."

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Sigh. Love you.

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The humans burn the forest to the ground and encircle it so no monsters escape while they do. 

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