"How long did he think? Keeping in mind that if I think the Enemy expects me to take twenty Years, then he's got no reason not to make me experience that many..."

"Well, the idea is that there would over the course of a long enough period of time be evidence of real-time progress. Music and stuff, if not your father's work. I don't remember the exact figure he quoted, something like a thousand years, I an impatient human pretty much registered this as 'forever' but it's not literally that..."

"And what outcome are you hoping for once I conclude that this is real?"

"It doesn't fix everything, I know it wouldn't do that. It'd just - make things more fixable, maybe."

"Yes, but what things? I can't change what I believe but I can try to change other stuff, if it's bothering you..."

"Inconveniently I have preferences about underlying psychological realities and not just whether or not you smile at me! I want you to be okay!"

"If this were real and I had some way to be sure, really sure, that it could never happen again, that I could never be anyone's prisoner again - then I think I'd be okay. Not the same, but okay. I would prefer being alive for more reason than preferring things happen which I need to be alive to see through."

"Well. I guess I will just wait a thousand years then."

"They go by faster than you'd think, if you have interesting things to fill them with."

Sigh. "I'll take your word for it."

"Hug?"

"If you tell your golem that it should let you get that close and you come here and hug me I won't move," Kib murmurs.

"Kib has permission to be within a foot of me," Maitimo says to the golem, and then watches him expectantly.

And then when he doesn't move he crosses the room and hugs him, a bit stiffly, and he's trembling, and - "Thank you."

Kib doesn't move. "- for what?"

"Not ending it yet, not - moving - working so hard -"

Sigh. "You're welcome."

He moves his hand across Kib's back as if trying to memorize him. 

Kib closes his eyes and breathes slowly and holds very very still.

"Am I hurting you?"

"No. Just have to concentrate not to - lean or anything."

"Asked Findekáno if he minded having the golem hold him but there's - less point of that, with you - can I touch your hair, I don't remember what it felt like -"

"Yeah," murmurs Kib.

So he does. Tentatively, with his eyes closed, shaking quite visibly -

One of these times I'll be so sure it's not you I won't even be tempted anymore, don't know if that'll be better or worse -

It's just me, it's - is saying that antihelpful -

Well, I hope you don't expect it to get a reaction of 'oh, what a relief, in that case all's well again' but I don't mind you saying it -