In the middle of an extended diatribe against artificial turf, Xan opens the door to Schuester Hall, which is... not the door to Schuester Hall.
Xan peers at it. "Are we being pranked or something? Has someone not been informed that I piss napalm?"
"You bleed napalm," notes Leo. "If you were pissing it we'd have a medical issue on our hands. Somebody could've thrown up an illusion, but I don't really see the point of replacing Schuester with... a bar? With some chick inside? Like, what, we're going to whip out our fake IDs and get in trouble? But Mom always says that if you can't see the point of a trap then whoever set it is smarter than you are. Let's go down the hall and take the south door."
"Jesus Christ," Xan mutters, hauling Leo in by the arm. "Let's avoid the cool-as-shit magic bar, he says. You're such a fucking girl."
Leo makes a noise of protest. "I'm working on that! And I object to your manhandling!"
They behold the bar. It's a very nice bar. It has a window to some exploding stars. "Huh. I'm... pretty sure that's magic of some kind," notes Leo.
"So am I, dipshit, we're both wizards."
"Just making conversation."
"There is lots and lots of porn made by adult men so you do not have to feel shame about liking it. Not that you should feel any shame at all, not unless they also have the bad remake in this world and you happen to like it."
"Leo being fucking ridiculous aside, I recall a purpose to this expedition. In the spirit of friendship, I will share my pot with you on this occasion."
"Fucking hell, the world is ending."
"Or your boyfriend knows what is good for him. Although if we are going to end a world lets end the one I came from since everything of value besides my sister's corpse has left."
"Sorry about your sister, I guess." Xan pulls out the bag he got from Milliways and passes it over with some papers, after rolling one for himself. He lights his with a flick of his thumb.
Leo takes out his own stash, but uses a pipe. He uses the same lighter spell.
"Put your fucking pinkie up, why don't you," Xan mutters.
Damara just uses a paper and an actual refillable lighter with an etched sailor moon logo. "Its fine, she's probably enjoying herself meeting all the skeletons she loved digging up." She lights up and lays down, blowing smoke into the air. "O do hope the sex is good enough to justify that pipe"
"Excuse me for having some fucking class," Leo sniffs. (He immediately goes into a small coughing fit.)
Damara starts laughing, "This is not fair, I demand a submissive fuckbuddy that is this adorable." She shakes her head, "Just use a bong, it is to weed what a pipe is to tobacco."
"Bongs are declassé."
"And you can find adorable people to terrorize scattered all over this great campus. This one's the best, though." Xan drapes himself over Leo.
Leo pets his hair in a beleaguered sort of way. "He gets really clingy when he's high. For reference."
"My ex used to look at other peoples asses more when he was high, clingy is a lot better." She takes very long drags between sentences, a less experienced user would find themselves passed out. "If anyone is going to fuck up this relationship it will be you."
"The variety and quantity of your baggage is amazing. Kudos."
"Is it baggage if I tried to stab holes into all of it? Besides don't tell me you have no problems in your past."
"Stabbing your baggage does not make it less baggageful, no. And I've had trouble, but your shit is clearly a level beyond. Or it all happened yesterday, one or the other."
"It was recent, if my time travel powers ever get really strong then I will introduce you to me from two years ago and then we can kick her face in together."
"A worthy goal."
"First I need to go further then a two minute hop and maybe get a longer music box. Also I need to have a magic wand. Maybe I'll figure out how to enchant my hair sticks."
"If you join our team, I can get Sally to make you some new needles. Maybe out of adamantium. That'll go straight through bone, you know. And she could inlay some mithril to help you focus your magic through them. That's what she did with our armor, it makes our magic work way better."
...Leo looks vaguely suspicious!
"So tell me one sexy yandere to another," Damara says before blowing smoke into Xan's face. "Are you always this generous to new girls?"