Well, he would do that, but instead he is going to fall over. Awesome.

This does not do any good for the parts of his leg which have got thorny mutant rose vines wrapped around them.

The dog seems to be doing a fine job of reducing the rest of the plant to limp shreds.

Fucking ow.

Okay, he'll just grab the things with his hands and try to pull them off, then. Why the hell not.

This works fine, except that there's — some sort of feeling going along with the holes poked in his hands. That isn't pain. And it's in his leg too. Doesn't seem to be like they want to burrow into him or anything, though; they easily come out and drop off like dead — or live — plants ought to.

The rest of the plant is now done for.

This is the second instance of concerning tingly plant shit that's happened to him today. That is at least one too many.

He pulls himself unsteadily to his feet (fuck he's hungry) and glances over at his new hexadecipedal friend.

"...thanks for that."

His new hexadecipedal friend looks at him and walks closer but is mostly watching the area around them for new threats.

He's going to finish checking out the mysterious red object before anything else.

On the way they encounter an ambulatory Brussels sprout stalk being attacked by an oversized over-limbed starfish. The combatants are too busy with each other to care.

The red does turn out to be a fire extinguisher! There is also a safety-neon-green corner of a box peeking out of a mess of drywall.

This place is so fucking weird.

He pulls out the fire extinguisher carefully, and then goes for the box.

Removing debris from the box reveals that it is a fairly large and heavy cabinet designed to be hung on a wall; luckily, it landed face-up. Big black lettering announces that it is LIFEFORM CONTROL. (The painting of the first word looks a little bit sloppy.)

...intriguing.

He makes sure the whole thing is clear of debris, and then opens it cautiously, just in case it contains LIFEFORMs.

It is neither deceptively labeled nor infiltrated by plants!

It contains weird guns, heavy gloves, canisters and vials of various sizes, and less immediately classifiable items.

Hmm.

He wonders if J knows how to gun. He sure doesn't.

Are there any bags in here he can swipe to fill with dubiously useful stuff?

There are bags and nets intended for containing LIFEFORMS, but there is also a bundle of straps that turns out to be a harness for attaching other equipment of one's choice to one's body.

The equipment has labels, but they are fairly esoteric, if not cryptic. Perhaps this code means these varieties of ammo goes with this gun? That only helps if he knows he wants to shoot things with a CRYOGEN or maybe a HUDSON INHIBITOR, though.

Here's a baton. It has interchangeable accessories to stick on the end of the stick, but it looks fine for just plain hitting things with too.

Ok, harness it is. Not like he’s never worn one of these before.

He grabs the baton (always good to have a hittin’ stick) and one of the smaller weird guns, and starts picking up baton accessories and ammo at random. He feels like Jonathan would know how to gun better than him, somehow, but he’ll try his best.

Jonathan continues to be unavailable for comment, and he is not interrupted by monsters whether by chance or by beware of dog.

The accessories and ammo have individual little belt-or-shoulder-strap pouches. Soon he can be carrying more ammo than you find in the room just before the boss fight and looking like the box art had "EXTRA BLOOD!" touted. Does he really feel up to carrying all that indiscriminately selected weight?

(Sadly, there is no gear to help doggy carry some supplies. if there were, he could probably clean out the cabinet with a one-animal pack train.)

He's still about to keel over from hunger, and ammunition is, by and large, heavy. This is maybe not an ideal amount of stuff to carry.

He offloads most of the ammo and looks over the accessories. Anything that looks familiar? Or pointy?

There's a pointy one where all the points are syringes. There's a spear head. There's a rasp. Less pointily, there is one that looks electric, and one that is just improbably heavy, and that's about it for recognizability.

The rest are cryptic and occasionally dubious. Some of them are probably contact drug delivery devices, what with being plainly shaped but having weird looking surface texture. Conveniently, they are kept in clear boxes so they can't be accidentally touched.

Well, the spear's straightforward, the rasp might be useful...the syringe one is kinda creepy, he's leaving that...definitely taking the electric one...and that should be fine for now. He doesn't know if he trusts the boxed ones.

He slots the spearhead onto the staff, stuffs everything he's not taking back in the cabinet to close it (just in case he comes back later), and strikes out towards the hallway in search of food.

The nearest available undestroyed hallway, as well as what can be seen of the other rooms at the fringe of the destroyed area, are made out of the same wall and ceiling panels as the obstacle course, but the floor is the same plain concrete that is found under the heaps of rubble, not carpet. The main lights are out, but there are barely-sufficient red emergency lights.

The hallway contains some small corpses, small scurrying things, and dimly lit doors.

...charming.

He’ll head down the hall and start peeking in some doors, then, holding his spear out at the ready.

Empty room (except for the rubble spilling in from the broken wall, and a small dead creature and a small live creature).

Room of mechanism-festooned racks of wall panels and other structural components, with an open ceiling leading off to the grid system.

Empty room. Empty room. Locked blank door. Locked door with window into empty room.

Room of ominous cylinders and pipes. Room with a heavy steel cover fastened to the floor, as if covering a hole dug below what otherwise seems to be the bottom floor of the facility.

Room with unused plumbing fittings in the wall and floor. Locked door with high-voltage warning sign.

Elevator.

Crap, crap, more crap, worse crap, elevator. It might go to more crap, but it'll at least be different crap.

This doesn't need a key card or anything, does it? He's not looking forward to looking for bodies.

There is no special access widget visible, but pushing the elevator buttons does nothing whatsoever. Probably due to the general lack of electricity in the area.