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Sep 19, 2019 12:37 AM
two disaster boys drink in a magic bar
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"Convince me."

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He groans.

"Don't fucking tease –"

He has to stop as he speaks, every so often, to gasp again for breath.

"You – you want to see me, I'll be – so fucking gorgeous for you, it'll feel so – so good, please, fuck, I need you –"

He tries to sit up to pull him in and doesn't quite manage it.

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Oh he is so convinced.

He pushes Z back down onto the mattress, hard, and puts a hand around his throat to feel him struggling for breath, and fucks him.

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It wasn't, before. He changed his mind. This is the best thing he's ever felt.

He gasps and chokes and thrashes underneath Jean as his muscles start to seize and his lungs burn like he's breathing acid and he is fucked perfectly and roughly and exactly like he needs to be.

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He feels his heart slow, beatbeatbeatbeat to beat beat beat beat to beat. beat. beat. His head spins, his vision blurs, everything goes missing but the pleasure. He isn't even trying to breathe anymore.

 

He can't speak, but his mouth moves, slowly, as he shakes –

i love you

i love you

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(he's so perfect, so perfect, and jean doesn't know how to feel about this, how to hurt him like this, how to be good enough for him, how to walk this tightrope and be perfectperfectperfect because if he misses a step--

 

-- but so good, so good, how can he not --)

 

 

-- he presses kisses to Z's forehead and lips and chest and tries to feel his heart beating --

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Beat.          Beat.                           Beat–

There’s a few last, sudden heartbeats, erratic, like it’s trying and failing to restart itself–

and then it stops.

(He feels Jean’s lips on his neck and his cock inside him and the burning-drowning-melting oxygen starvation of his body and he comes.)

 

Everything is still. The pain trickles away, the world ebbs into nothing, and there is

 

comfort, belonging, peace

 

 

and then silence.

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oh god

   oh god oh god oh god oh

 

god

 

  oh    god

 

nononononononono

 

"--don't, no, don't die, please, I'm sorry, I love you--"

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His whole body jolts.

He sits bolt upright, coughing, clutching at his chest as his heart stutters back to life.

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Jean tackles him back down to the bed and clings.

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He laughs, dizzily, as soon as his lungs will allow it, and starts to kiss Jean everywhere he can reach.

“You love me—you love me, you really do—”

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"--yes -- yes of course I love you -- don't, please don't ever do that again..."

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He holds him with shaking arms.

“I’m okay. It’s okay. I’m back. Shit, I love you...”

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He's not the only one shaking.

"Are you -- are you all right, I'm so sorry, I love you..."

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“Way better than all right.”

He pets Jean’s hair.

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Shivercling.

"I don't want to lose you."

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“You don’t have to.”

Pet pet.

“I’m still here, right?”

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"If I were a good person I wouldn't let you come with me."

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“Then please don’t be one.”

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"Oh, I'm not." Cling.

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He leans in to kiss him—

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