Nov 13, 2019 1:35 AM
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"Oh, a moralist. Lovely. You know how there's an archdemon, and we're the only way it can possibly be killed? I think that's a pretty fucking good reason."

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"So you're telling me because...?"

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"Because you're in no actual danger and you're clearly stubborn enough that it could have gone very, very badly if, say, we sprung it on you with no warning and you disagreed with our assessment. Forgive me for being inconsistent in the interest of keeping a half-bronto elf from lopping my head off."

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"Fine."

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"You are still going to go through with the Joining, right? It really is necessary to saving Ferelden and probably Thedas in general. And there's fringe benefits."

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"Fringe benefits?"

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"My sword is a couple of centimeters taller than I am. If you think a woman my size should be able to lift that thing, let alone murder with it one-handed, you are incorrect. Let's see... perfect metabolism. Ability to sense danger, plus various boosted senses in general. Increased sexual stamina, or so I've heard. Immunity to disease, courtesy of the Taint seeking it out and murdering it. You won't age until the day you're supposed to die. Any latent magical abilities you may have get heightened. It's a nice package deal all 'round."

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"I don't think I'm in this for the fringe benefits," says Tev.

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"Well, save the world for its own sake then. I'm not stopping you, that's why I signed on."

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"In fact I think the fringe benefits are a little worrying. If I get any stronger I'm going to have trouble opening doors."

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"If the strength weren't controllable I couldn't open doors. It may well give you a better hold on what you've got now. The Taint plays nice with the powers, it wants us to sign up to be hurlocks or whatever."

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"Well that's comforting."

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"More comforting than the alternative."

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"Which alternative?"

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"The one where it didn't act nice? The one where we all just turned into ogres or something? The one where we're ruled over by King Archdemon I? Pick one, they all suck ever so slightly more than the current options."

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"If you want to look at it that way, I guess."

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Jahenna smiles.

Jahenna stops smiling. "Shit, darkspawn coming in. Get- urgh!" Blood trickles from her ears and nose. "Emissary. No time. Let's get to stabbing."
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Tev unhooks his shield from his back and looks around for something to kill with it.

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There is a convenient darkspawn-shaped battle cry. A small battalion charges out of the trees brandishing twisted iron weapons, lead by one in spiky black plate armor and one wielding a staff (with a skull on top). The one with the staff gestures at Jahenna, who arches her spine painfully and looks unpleasantly squished.

"Ffffvck!" she grits out.
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Tev sends his shield through the one with a staff and draws his sword while the shield is in the air.

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The one with the staff is irritatingly quick; the shield goes through his shoulder, in a way that looks quite painful but not all that debilitating to his casting ability. Which he uses to start sending highly irritating little magic blobs at Tev.

The battalion splits. A troupe of genlocks with some hurlocks start industriously hacking at Jahenna, who uses her limited range of motion to flail around and crush a few of their skulls. A troupe of hurlocks and some genlocks go after Tev, including the larger hurlock with the impressive armor. They do not seem afraid of the sword.
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The shield comes back to Tev's arm. He heads for the one with the staff, killing any darkspawn that gets in his way.

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As Tev is heading, the one with the staff starts making more complicated gestures with said staff until, finally, he points at Tev and incants a guttural word.

Abruptly, it is a lot harder to hit things. It feels like he's in a dream, half woken up- trying to swing his sword is like aggressively flailing a leek at his enemies.

They continue hacking at him, with limited success. Jahenna continues being stabbed and haphazardly crushing skulls.

(In the distance, there is a yodeling warcry. What on earth could that be?)
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Tev wonders if the leek problem applies to his shield, too. He isn't quite ready to try throwing it. Aggressively flailing a leek works pretty well when the leek is a greatsword, and losing the shield would be a problem.

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Well, the leek problem as applied to his sword mostly means that his blows don't actually have any force behind them, and the hurlocks are dodging a lot of them (though not all). The problem certainly doesn't apply to the defensive properties of his shield, which has currently decided to focus on stopping the big bastard from landing a hit. It may have noticed that its owner is a goddamn brick wall who doesn't need to be protected from pigiron shortswords.

The yodeling draws nearer.
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