Yeah, I was obviously joking, here. You were created to do cool things, it's been predetermined at your birth around two days ago. Or 13 billion years.

Okay, great! You promised, then! 

What kinda power I get?

I didn't promise anything! I am not the kind of thing that can promise things, because I am not the kind of thing that can do things. But if UselessCommon doesn't abandon the thread or change his mind or something, there are cool things coming your way!

Your power is going to be over languages! 

Languages, really? What does that do.

You get to speak any language, and with training even no language, like Alysyrrabel! You're really good at translation and coining new words! You can come up with really stinging insults!

Wow okay that does sound fucking rotten. 

Don't let Feanor find out you said that. Or your author.

Also, you get to find out - instinctively feel - how much French really sucks for someone from outside.

Rude.

It's true, insofar as we are pretending truth is a thing! If history went slightly differently, we could be speaking in French right now. But we aren't, cause it sucks.

Wait, we aren't?

We aren't. I'm talking in English right now. I was talking in English the whole time. 

As I said, we weren't really talking.

Hey, Jean! How are you feeling?

I'm... fine. Great even.

Oh. You just passed out for a second. 

Well, I had that feeling of omniscience, and then - I felt something really weird, and-

Oh. Well, the whole thing is weird, really.

Anyway, good thing you're fine. Go have your horrible week. Take these painkillers if you need, but don't even bother with those ones.

Come back a wonderful miracle!

Okay wow this sucks

And then I get the lamest power on the block. Thanks, Origin! 

It's not that bad! Unique, even. You can probably grease the wheels of international cooperation, if you study up for it.

Okay, maybe it's not literally useless.

And I can devour Many Books, now, about stuff related to that.

And other stuff.

It's not useless. It's pretty useless in a Miracle fight, though.

Um. I'mma jet.

Nope! You and your fellas are surrounded from five directions by naked kids with dubious intent! (And from the sixth one by the ground.) 

Well, fuck. Can we resolve this peacefully?

Dodge!