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Ranko Saotome Adopts Everyone
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"I reserve the right to punch you in the face and bolt if you turn out to be an asshole and/or grope me, but aside from that sure," she says.

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Chuckle. "Hopefully that will be unnecessary."

"And you all," he says, turning to the ANBU, "Will be answering some questions." He makes a gesture, and more ANBU, these in slightly more colorful, less creepy versions of the same masks, drop from the trees, surrounding Ranko's attackers. "Search for any others," he orders, and several of his ANBU shoot off up into the woods or up the mountain.

The ANBU who'd attacked Ranko offer barely any resistance while being escorted away.

He beckons another ANBU over, and says, quietly, "Inform Inoichi and Shikaku that they're needed in my office."

Then, to her: "This way, please." And he leads the way past the downed trees - luckily she mostly only damaged the forest around her, he intervened before she reached inhabited sections - to a squat red building. 

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She follows warily. She will notice if anyone decides to cheatily fuck with her head again.

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She doesn't notice anything on the walk over.

When they get to his office, he goes to sit at the desk with the enormous window overlooking the village behind him. "I have some questions for the both of you, though first I would like to know your name."

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"Saotome Ranko, of the Saotome school of Anything Goes martial arts."

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"And where are you from?"

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"And where is that?"

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"--Uh, the Kanto region?"

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" - Which nation?"

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"Japan? Obviously?"

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"I haven't heard of it. Can you place it on a map?"

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"--You're speaking Japanese right now. Oh well, I suppose this isn't any weirder than the Chardins. Sure."

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And he points her to a rather large map on the wall behind her.

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Slooooow blink.

"Uh, what is this a map of?"

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"The Elemental Nations."

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"...Are we somewhere in China?"

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"I also haven't heard of there."

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"Okay, well, this map doesn't have Japan on it. Or anywhere else I'm familiar with."

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"Hm. How did you discover the boy, and how did you arrive in the Elemental Nations if you're so unfamiliar with them?"

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"Accidentally looked in a cursed mirror."

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"...And what happened then?"

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"Found myself in the kid's room, if you can even call it that. More like a monk's cell, if you ask me."

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"Do cursed mirrors usually act as a means of teleportation?"

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"They're pretty diverse!"

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