To the point where they feel comfortable saying that they'd find twelve people to go live with me even if their siblings decided I wasn't safe. Thats- probably them wanting to feel more in control of the situation, actually, now that I think of it. But still creepy that that's the solution they reach for, to either of those problems.

Are you worried that the people'd be coerced? Or just that, by speaking for them, he was talking in a sort of way that in your world people mostly talk like if they don't respect others?

Sort of both of those? I don't think me and twelve strangers chosen for willingness to go live on another world would be a very stable situation at all, even if it didn't start out coercive it could easily have ended up being, and yes, if you're Speaking for someone you really ought to be more careful than that. If it's just something like 'let me see if I can think of someone, I can probably make that happen', that's okay, but saying it like it's guaranteed? That'd almost count as violence by itself, among kobolds.

Yeah, I think that's a cultural difference. Or maybe several. Part of it is that if you're very sure of something you may as well say so, among the Noldor. Part of it's that your people seem to fear someone having too much power, and we don't fear that at all. Part of it's that unless Maitimo's in much worse shape than I can imagine, you and twelve people he chose for living well with you would definitely be stable. Part of it's that - most of you don't talk? That makes Speaking something different than what he does. He leads people. It involves understanding them very deeply and doing right by them, but the communication is the tool, not the goal. The goal is killing the Enemy. Everyone who works for Maitimo wants him to feel free to use them towards that goal, because that's how our people do important things. 

She considers, then nods.

That's very differently put together, yeah. Kobold tribes don't really have goals beyond keeping the people in them safe and happy. Individual people do, and they're usually prosocial ones at least by kobold standards, but having goals like that isn't what tribes are for, and I don't think a prospective chief would get anywhere at all if they tried to make one that was.

That might be the biggest cultural difference, then. There are communities that are for making their members safe and happy - we used to live in one, we left it - but a host in wartime is a community that is for letting its people achieve together something they could not achieve alone.

Nod. Not sure I'm going to cope with that well. Different needs, I think. For kobolds, your tribe is home, the safe place you can count on being there to support you while you do what you want to do, and before and after. Which means things like weapon-making and fighting lessons, but also... safety, companionship, if you don't want to do whatever thing any more or need a break that's what it's for. It's a place for coordinating but not a way of coordinating, if that makes sense.

Plus, for kobolds, being ordered is always a little bit of a threat. Not much of one, but if it happens often that's going to stress me out... possibly a lot, given I've already been exiled the once.

And I would not be reassuring if I said 'oh, I can have some people go off and create the kind of space you'd cope better with', because it's not just a difficulty coping, it's also a discomfort with that kind of community even when you're not expected to be part of it?

I mean, I'm not going to not help you, I know enough of what's at stake. I don't like everything about kobold culture, either. And if everyone who's here is here voluntarily and can leave if they want to, I really don't have much to say at all about how you do things. But... it comes down to companionship again, basically? Everything the tribe has to offer comes from people in the tribe wanting their tribemates to be safe and happy and well cared for, and that's important.

That seems like it calls for more hugs. That makes sense. Thank you for explaining it.

Hugs: such a good.

I can probably adjust at least some. If the right things are there and they're just shown different ways I'll probably be fine. If they are I haven't seen it yet but I also haven't seen very much at all, so...

Can I tell Maitimo what you need? That'll help him do it, and that'll make you both happier.

...if that's really not considered unethical here. Though at this point even if it was it should probably happen anyway. She sighs discontentedly and leans in closer. If they try to maneuver me away from you, let them, I'm still not sure they're actually okay with this.

If it helps, nothing bad would happen if Maitimo told someone to do something and they said "I don't want to". The reason our people listen to us is because they have decided the goal of our people right now is to see the Enemy dead and other things are secondary.

He squeezes her. And I don't think this would bother Maitimo if he believed it weren't a hallucination, which is what matters to me. 

By 'that' I mean telling them in the first place - there's a power imbalance there and you're right that we really don't like those; this kind of imbalance is pretty unavoidable, but I should still be trying to avoid making it worse - they shouldn't have to try to balance focusing on their recovery and taking care of me, under these conditions. But that assumes that I have a whole functional tribe to lean on for what I need, and I don't, and I was coping okay with that anyway but now I'm not, and that's dangerous for both of us, so. I don't like it but I think I need it anyway.

I think taking better care of you would be good for Maitimo. Doing wrong by you will not help him recover, it'll distress him a lot. And if he were to try maneuvering me away from you I'd be suspicious it was for political reasons not personal ones, so I can't promise I'd listen to him, but  - trust me, his wellbeing is a priority of mine.

Nod.

They're not going to stop me from helping your host, in any case; I'm not worried about that. But, yeah. Okay. Hug.

No, but if he wants to reunite the Noldor - and he might think it's hopeless, I certainly think it's hopeless - he'd want us reunited under him.

I don't think I even understand what that means, never mind how I'd matter to it.

Right now we're two tribes. We have the same goal. We'd be better at the goal if we worked on it together, but we don't trust them enough to do that. He might fix that if he sees a way.

Nod. I got that far, yeah. ...this is another one of those leadership things, isn't it, without that it looks so obviously impossible that nobody would even think about trying it. Okay. Where do you think I'd come in?

Well, if you wanted to do it you could make our tribes work together by saying you'd only help us if we worked together. You are not going to do that, and he wouldn't try to convince you to. You could also announce who you thought should be chief and because you're magic people'd give that a lot of weight...I can't think of other things but I'm not Maitimo....

She blinks, and takes a few seconds to consider.

That's really creepy, but I bet you knew I'd say that. But I think if I do have to show an opinion on that, it'll be that I think your parent would be best at it; Maitimo thinks they shouldn't be in charge, and for pretty good reasons, and I haven't been very impressed with their siblings, and getting a group like this across the ice seems like proof they'd be good at it, no matter which standards I go by.

Maybe Maitimo'd tolerate a united Noldor under my father, maybe not, the magic changes a lot of the considerations. I hope our cultural differences eventually stop seeming creepy to you, that'll make people sad.

I am starting to get a feel for the cultural differences - it does make sense that with this many people, they'd have trouble knowing enough about what was going on to make decisions by themselves. I have no idea why me being a mage would matter, though, I'll have to think even more carefully than I was planning to about how to share it if that's going to happen.