Yeah, good idea. Thanks.

She closes the portal and waits for the soup and thanks the person who delivers it, and then - back in a couple minutes, probably, don't worry if I'm not - teleports back to her world, aboveground near the entrance to her cave.

Hey, she sends, gently.

Hey, you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine. Spent the night with the Ñolofinwëans, met another one of your siblings this morning. You?

I'm fine. Sorry I bothered you.

You really didn't. She opens a portal.

He remains still.

She waits a couple seconds, and then - what do you want, for now? I can stay with the Ñolofinwëans, I don't think they'll mind having me.

Just tell me how long this game lasts, how long until I wake up in Angband -

She whimpers. It's fine, he can't hear her.

I'm sorry.

I don't need an apology, just a number -

I know, I can't, you're out. This isn't perfect but it's real. I can't make it go away.

Okay. Sigh. I don't mind if you come back.

She takes a few seconds to calm back down.

That is the worst idea right now. Tonight, maybe.

Whatever's convenient for you.

Sigh.

I have your lunch.

Thank you.

I'll teleport it. She does that. Do you need anything else?

No.

Okay. I'll be back for dinner.

Thank you.

When I went to the Ñolofinwëan camp, practically the first thing Findekáno said, before I'd told them anything at all, was that having two people who both need to be doing right by everyone we interact with living alone together was obviously going to do this. I don't want to care less - even if that fixes it it breaks everything else that matters - but we can probably figure something out, for when even the best thing isn't really good enough.

It's hard not to parse things you say that touch on the Enemy's favorite games to play with me without guessing when and how he's going to bring about that they happen. I panic when that happens. It's not you and I don't mind having you around.

Mmhmm. But seeing that happen upsets me and you do mind seeing me upset.

Yeah. I can get better at concealing the panic attacks so they don't upset you.

Sigh. That's not the kind of solution I was hoping for. I think... does it change anything if I point out that when I get upset like that it's on your behalf, same as getting angry? They aren't even all that different, it's jut that one's aggressive and the other's not.