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Ivan is asleep when it happens, but the captain knocking on his door gets him up quick enough. "What? Where's the fire?" Ivan asks. This was supposed to be a quiet posting. Well, the posting on Earth was supposed to be quiet too, cultural, etcetera, but Xerxes is supposed to be downright boring. Ivan is not supposed to be awakened from his eight hours unexpectedly.
"Murder, not a fire. You're cousin to Lord Mark Vorkosigan, aren't you?" says the captain.
Ivan has to think for a second. "...Yes?"
"Security vid picked him up within radius of a murder. This is the first we knew of him being on the planet, but the locals want us to bring him in so they don't have to it themselves and risk mishandling a Vor lord. Seemed worth consulting you on him - the file on him's really something."
Ivan blinks. "You need to arrest Mark."
"Yes."
"...Sir. Uh, give me a while to try doing it myself. He's... I'm not positive I can succeed but I am pretty sure I can survive trying, and unless he's in a cooperative mood I'm very uncertain anybody else can say the same thing."
"He may have just killed a man."
"I'm aware. He likes me. He doesn't know you from a hole in the ground, or anybody else within fetching distance, sir. Give me his last location and a few hours? Please?"
"By yourself?"
"He wouldn't know anybody you could send with me from a hole in the ground."
The captain chews his lip. "None of your shenanigans, all right?"
"Sir, I'm not the shenanigans one, it's just contagious when m'co- my other cousin's around. I'll see if I can find him, if I find him I'll try to bring him back."
The captain eventually acquiesces. And that is why Ivan is tromping around downtown, debating whether or not to call "Mark? Mark?" like he's looking for a lost dog.
Ivan has to arrest Mark
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middlingalong
unmarred
"You're welcome. Yes. Sorry. Well, not entirely sorry. It seems to have worked for the intended purpose."
middlingalong
"I could've taken him."
"Ivan?" says Ivan's girlfriend uncertainly.
"Right. Yes. Emily, this is m'cousin Mark, Mark, this is Emily, but I'm sure you know that because you've been stalking me."
"Ivan?" says Ivan's girlfriend uncertainly.
"Right. Yes. Emily, this is m'cousin Mark, Mark, this is Emily, but I'm sure you know that because you've been stalking me."
unmarred
"Hello, Emily." He glances at Ivan again and says, "I know you could have taken him, but you weren't. Someone might have gotten hurt."
middlingalong
"For God's sake, Mark, doesn't that seem a little like, one, an overreaction, two, something you might want to ask me about first?"
unmarred
"...well, I can see your point now that you bring that up... I don't agree that it's an overreaction, though. It seems perfectly proportionate to me."
middlingalong
"If I were in ongoing severe danger of some kind the embassy would've assigned me a bodyguard. They didn't. Everybody who kidnapped me was caught, they didn't have some larger and extremely popular agenda."
unmarred
"I know. But - it's not like I have anything better to do with my time. And if I'd been guarding you in the first place..." He shrugs. "So."
middlingalong
"Okay, I'm going to walk Emily home, and then I assume you've been unpersuaded that you shouldn't stalk me, so when she is home I will speak your name three times and you'll appear out of nowhere like some kind of deranged ghost and we'll talk, how's that?"
middlingalong
Ivan walks Emily home. He apologizes for his deranged ghost cousin. He gives her a kiss goodnight and declines a leftover muffin and gives her another kiss and then strolls back out to the sidewalk.
He looks around, sees no sign of his stalker cousin, sighs, and says, "Mark, Mark, Mark."
He looks around, sees no sign of his stalker cousin, sighs, and says, "Mark, Mark, Mark."
middlingalong
"Okay, thing the first. Are you aware that following people around without them saying you may do that is illegal on most planets?"
unmarred
"...Sort of? I mean, I did know that, I just... wasn't really thinking about it."
middlingalong
"And now that I've brought it to your attention, any questions or comments?"
middlingalong
"I am really very pissed off that you did it without my knowledge. If you actually desire to be my unpaid bodyguard, I dunno, maybe if I was less pissed off I'd be all over it, but God that's creepy, have you been following me continuously since you dropped me off at the embassy?"
unmarred
"Sorry," he says. "Yes. Well - depends what you mean by following - I've kept track of you but I haven't always watched you. Just enough to be sure you weren't in any danger."
middlingalong
"So I can honestly tell Emily that you haven't been - I don't know, perched in a tree outside her window while I was there. Yeah?"