This post's authors have general content warnings that might apply to the current post.
View Flat HTML
View Metadata
Search Post
Ivan is asleep when it happens, but the captain knocking on his door gets him up quick enough. "What? Where's the fire?" Ivan asks. This was supposed to be a quiet posting. Well, the posting on Earth was supposed to be quiet too, cultural, etcetera, but Xerxes is supposed to be downright boring. Ivan is not supposed to be awakened from his eight hours unexpectedly.
"Murder, not a fire. You're cousin to Lord Mark Vorkosigan, aren't you?" says the captain.
Ivan has to think for a second. "...Yes?"
"Security vid picked him up within radius of a murder. This is the first we knew of him being on the planet, but the locals want us to bring him in so they don't have to it themselves and risk mishandling a Vor lord. Seemed worth consulting you on him - the file on him's really something."
Ivan blinks. "You need to arrest Mark."
"Yes."
"...Sir. Uh, give me a while to try doing it myself. He's... I'm not positive I can succeed but I am pretty sure I can survive trying, and unless he's in a cooperative mood I'm very uncertain anybody else can say the same thing."
"He may have just killed a man."
"I'm aware. He likes me. He doesn't know you from a hole in the ground, or anybody else within fetching distance, sir. Give me his last location and a few hours? Please?"
"By yourself?"
"He wouldn't know anybody you could send with me from a hole in the ground."
The captain chews his lip. "None of your shenanigans, all right?"
"Sir, I'm not the shenanigans one, it's just contagious when m'co- my other cousin's around. I'll see if I can find him, if I find him I'll try to bring him back."
The captain eventually acquiesces. And that is why Ivan is tromping around downtown, debating whether or not to call "Mark? Mark?" like he's looking for a lost dog.
Ivan has to arrest Mark
middlingalong
unmarred
Naturally, Mark chooses to make his appearance when Ivan is walking down an otherwise deserted side street.
"To what do I owe the pleasure?" he inquires, stepping out of an alley a little ways ahead.
"To what do I owe the pleasure?" he inquires, stepping out of an alley a little ways ahead.
middlingalong
Ivan didn't actually think this through. Whoops.
"Mark! Hi. Uh. Hi. I'm. I'm actually supposed to arrest you please don't kill me."
"Mark! Hi. Uh. Hi. I'm. I'm actually supposed to arrest you please don't kill me."
unmarred
"Sorry," he says, between giggles. "It's just—this isn't about the used groundcar salesman, is it?"
middlingalong
"It is about the used groundcar salesman. If you did not kill a used groundcar salesman then it should be over with quick. 'S only the embassy's being friendly with local law enforcement, who decline to attempt to lay hands on a Vor lord."
unmarred
"I did not, in fact, kill the used groundcar salesman," says Mark. "I came very close to seeing it happen, but didn't quite. If I had killed the used groundcar salesman, I would have done a better job of it, and you would not currently know I was on the planet. How, though, am I meant to prove that I did not kill the used groundcar salesman?"
middlingalong
"Fast-penta? Sit quietly in the embassy till somebody else gets fast-pentaed?"
unmarred
"If their best suspect is me, they're not going to find the man who did it," he says with a slight shrug. "And I am not eager to subject myself to a fast-penta interview. Although I might, on... conditions."
middlingalong
"I don't know if they have better, you're just the one contracted out to the Barrayaran embassy and I convinced them to let me have a try instead of... trying anything else. Conditions?"
unmarred
"Unrecorded. No one in the room but you and me. I... value my privacy highly."
unmarred
"Then you might be able to convince me to come along," he says. "Good thinking not letting them send anyone else, by the way."
middlingalong
"Would they be dead, or just stunned with you rabbiting off into the untraceable yonder?"
unmarred
"That would depend on how much force they came after me with and how far away I saw them coming."
middlingalong
"Right. So... if I comm in and the captain says there's no way you can have your conditions, do I wind up stunned while you rabbit into the untraceable yonder?"
unmarred
"That depends on how hard you try to stop me from rabbiting into the untraceable yonder."
middlingalong
Ivan sighs. "I'll see what I can do. He trusted me this far, yeah?" And he taps his commlink. "Captain, found him - well, he found me - he'll be fast-penta'd nice and friendly if it's unrecorded and I'm doing the interview, nobody else there."
"That's not going to satisfy the locals, conflict of interest, Vorpatril -"
"Yes, well, he's not coming in elsewise and if you're going to tell me to attack him I'm going to wind up unconscious on the street, sir. If the locals want him hostilely fast-penta'd they can try to get ahold of him themselves, yeah?"
"Is he listening to this conversation?"
"You'd rather I wander off for privacy, let him out of my sight -?"
"No, no - If the locals fuss will he park in the embassy for a few days while they follow up other leads?"
Ivan looks at Mark.
"That's not going to satisfy the locals, conflict of interest, Vorpatril -"
"Yes, well, he's not coming in elsewise and if you're going to tell me to attack him I'm going to wind up unconscious on the street, sir. If the locals want him hostilely fast-penta'd they can try to get ahold of him themselves, yeah?"
"Is he listening to this conversation?"
"You'd rather I wander off for privacy, let him out of my sight -?"
"No, no - If the locals fuss will he park in the embassy for a few days while they follow up other leads?"
Ivan looks at Mark.
unmarred
"I'll tell you what I know about the person who actually did it," he says. "And I will stay as long as I am comfortable staying. A few days, if no one does anything to make me uncomfortable."
middlingalong
"Let me guess," says the captain, "you'll want to bunk with your cousin, too, Vorpatril seems very important to this business."
Ivan coughs.
Ivan coughs.
middlingalong
"What d'you want me to do, sir?" Ivan asks.
"...Bring him back with you, we'll do it his way," says the captain.
"Yessir." Ivan flicks off his comm. "Well, that went well."
"...Bring him back with you, we'll do it his way," says the captain.
"Yessir." Ivan flicks off his comm. "Well, that went well."
unmarred
Follow, follow.
"Can't say much for the circumstances, but it's nice to see you," he mentions.
"Can't say much for the circumstances, but it's nice to see you," he mentions.