View Flat HTML
View Metadata
Search Post
Joey is cleaning out his grandmother's attic. She's dead and he's occupying the house for the time being, since his dad and aunt are tied to jobs elsewhere in the country and he's unemployed. Cleaning the house out isn't fun, but he's got Reeses Pieces in his pocket and a record on and it's tolerable. Better than living with his deadbeat roommate for another year of lease. Maybe he'll keep the house. It's paid off and everything.
He steps back, dragging his broom.
And then he's in another world, it smells green and it's eighty degrees and the air is so startlingly clear and look at the flowers -
Joey says ack and leans forward along the path of his broom. And he is back in the attic. There's snow heaped against the window. It smells like dust and Grandma.
What the hell.
He leans back again. Verdant summer.
Forward. Attic.
When he's done this enough times that it starts feeling stupid more than fantastical, Joey carefully leans into summertime and puts his broom down and tries walking back without it.
Works just fine.
He leaves the broom there, laid across two worlds but somehow fully visible in each, as a signal of where the thing is, and walks into the warmth.
He explores. It's pretty, it's a nice change of pace, he can't hear his music from here but there's so much to look at.
He finds a tiny person, can't be more than a foot tall, with a dumb hat and dragonfly wings. The tiny person is surprised to see him.
"Whose mortal are you?" asks the tiny person.
"...What?" It speaks English, why the fuck does it speak English.
"Are you new? Nobody's snapped you up? Well, watch out. Don't let any food or drink pass your lips and definitely don't tell anyone your name. But I'm not going to hang around you, somebody'll be after you, you're trouble." The tiny person tips its stupid hat and flies away.
Joey blinks, and turns around to head back for his marker. It was past this rock here.
feel-so-free
A woman appears, floating in midair, a few feet away from the broom when Joey is just within sight of it. She is not tiny. She is kind of tall, actually. And she has beautiful wings like fine sprays of rainbow dust sparkling in the sunlight, and when she beats them rapidly to catch herself before she hits the ground, the edges shed colourful particles that swirl away through the air.
She isn't wearing any clothes.
She's very pretty.
She touches her feet to the ground and spins around and around and giggles to herself.
She isn't wearing any clothes.
She's very pretty.
She touches her feet to the ground and spins around and around and giggles to herself.
Whoa.
Magical summer land of winged people, some of whom have stupid hats and some of whom are gorgeous naked ladies.
Joey stares at her.
"I'm a fan," says Joey. "Uh. Do you have a name?"
feel-so-free
"No," she says brightly. "Do most people? I guess they do. I haven't met any others, though. I just started. Do you have a name?"
"Nope!" Joey lies. "Uh, somebody with a stupid hat told me not to eat anything. But didn't say why. Why is that?"
feel-so-free
"Oh - maybe you're a mortal. Are you? I guess you are. If a mortal eats fairy food then any fairy with a claim to the food can take them as a vassal," she explains. "And the other way around. I don't think being someone's vassal is very nice, it means that if your master tells you to do something and means it then you have to."
"Oh." Joey looks around at the plants. They don't look like normal plants. Maybe they look like Asian plants or something, he wouldn't know, but he's betting they're weird fairy plants.
He looks at the hot naked chick.
"So does that mean you never get to know what peanut butter candy tastes like, ever?"
He looks at the hot naked chick.
"So does that mean you never get to know what peanut butter candy tastes like, ever?"
"Yep. Some mortals are allergic to peanuts and they just," he waves a hand, "drop like flies, all the time, can't resist peanut butter candy, it's that good."
"Well." He takes a Reeses Piece out of his pocket; it's an orange one. "It's sweet, and salty, and how do I describe the flavor of a peanut, really I can't. Pity you can't have one, isn't it? I'm not short on them or anything but it sounds like you wouldn't want a taste."
Joey holds out the Reeses Piece.
feel-so-free
Oh this is such a bad idea.
The fairy grabs it out of his hand and eats it.
...and the next step of this plan was going to be to flee immediately, but it turns out the candy is really really good.
The fairy grabs it out of his hand and eats it.
...and the next step of this plan was going to be to flee immediately, but it turns out the candy is really really good.
Joey can see his broom over there.
"Come on and follow me," he says, heading in that direction. He caught one! He is probably not going to go to the trouble of, like, marrying her, like he's under the impression you have to do with selkies, because she is not a seal. But he caught one and he's gonna take her home.
"Come on and follow me," he says, heading in that direction. He caught one! He is probably not going to go to the trouble of, like, marrying her, like he's under the impression you have to do with selkies, because she is not a seal. But he caught one and he's gonna take her home.
feel-so-free
The fairy, unavoidably, follows him.
"That was such a bad idea," she sighs. "But the candy was really good."
"That was such a bad idea," she sighs. "But the candy was really good."
"I've got more," he says, offering her another one.
He continues feeding her Reeses Pieces one by one until they are back through the gate to his grandma's attic.
"Don't go back through without my permission," he tells her. "...And sweep up all the dust in here into that bag, and then come downstairs, and we'll have some fun."
"Don't go back through without my permission," he tells her. "...And sweep up all the dust in here into that bag, and then come downstairs, and we'll have some fun."
"Smile!" he grins at her, as he heads down to the second floor.
feel-so-free
Well, now she is smiling. Unavoidably.
She wants to kill him. She can't kill him, but she wants to. You can do that to mortals, that is why they are called mortals, but not if you are their vassal.
She wants to kill him. She can't kill him, but she wants to. You can do that to mortals, that is why they are called mortals, but not if you are their vassal.
Joey, meanwhile, gets himself a beer and waits for her in his room. He caught a faaaairy!
