Any good and honest Merckantile endeavor must needs good honest Weights and Measures, but that system customarily in use is assuredly of the Devils of Hell and Hell's Prince, so lately evickted from our mighty Ports and Harbors.

Impiously the wicked Merchants and Burghers cling to their Hell-Spawned Measures, swindling and fixing prices by means of such odious Weights as the Libra of Westcrown, the Arroba of Corentyn, the foul Bushell of Ostenso, and vilest of all the Gallonns of Menador.

In consideration of which I entreat Her most Glorious and Wise Majesty to adopt the following good honest Weights and Measures,

1. the measure of Distance, the Litran, being the measure of those leagues across which dread Rovagug was cast by Her Majesty's blow when she slew Him in Single Combat, divisible into thousandth parts, the Glory;
2. the measure of Dry Weight, the Iomedae, being the measure of the prodigious weight of the sword of Iomedae which Her Majesty alone have the power to wield, divisible into hundredth parts, the Valor;
3. the measure of Liquid Weight, the Aspex, being the measure of that loyal Blood that was shed in making War against Hell and Hell's Prince, such Weight being so titanic that it be divisible into myriad parts, the Justice.

Once and for all we may do away with the Wicked, Devilish Figures of the Merchants.