"Noted." He notes it. "Paper pad or computerized?"

"I've been writing everything important longhand and then burning it, the enemy's likelier to be able to read the computers."

"That's what I thought. I'll generate a pad that won't have been in the Hell Library -" He fiddles with his computer, the one that doesn't talk to the local networks, then hands Fëanáro a phone book sized thing.

"Thank you. I will stay in touch, or have someone else do it. - no way to verify our identities over this, is there?"

"I can verify communications to me by filtering for author and since you can write-then-destroy you shouldn't even need to encrypt it, other way's harder but if we assume nobody's got the pad anything that decrypts with it is me."

"Satisfactory. Thank you and go away, we both have lots to do."

Cam goes away.

Findekáno's waiting at the door. 

"Nelyafinwe's not here," says the King.

"Good thing I haven't the slightest desire to speak with him. Medical wanted to catch Cam before he left, ask for these ten drugs if this is sufficient specification of them - we've got the division up for responses to biological weapons, if that's not beneath your interest, your grace -"

"...okay, I can do the drugs, but dude can you make everything slightly less about your drama with your ex-boyfriend it's getting old."

"What the Halls did you just say to me."

"Ugh, never mind." Cam looks at the drug list. "What containers do you want these in."

He hands him one. 

Cam produces the desired drugs. "...seriously though," he mutters.

Findekáno gapes at him speechlessly.

"Cam," says the King, "come back over, will you? Nolofinwion, there'll be less friction if you send someone else to run errands. I do read your messages, or would if they contained anything of value, so there's no strategic need -"

Findekáno is still gaping speechlessly, but manages to congeal back into intense dislike, at that. "Yeah," he says, and takes the drugs and leaves.

(And leans against the wall as soon as he's in private and barely conquers the urge to wake Maitimo up with intense anger and terror and whispers '...what'.)

"...did I step on an Elf thing," Cam wonders, meandering back Kingwards.

"I'd rather not see anyone, even people I intensely dislike, insulted that cheaply."

.......

"What Elf thing did I step on."

The King looks confused for about a quarter of a second, which is as long as he ever does. "Oh, right. No Valar, and no childbearing - in Hell there's no sociological reason they'd even have that taboo - suggesting someone has a male lover, here, is a grievously insulting thing to say of him. I thought you did so knowing that, and I disapproved, because I wouldn't see the laws of the Valar weaponized like that. Or heeded at all, frankly, once we don't need them for reembodiment."

"...Oh. No, that is not what was happening. I can... go apologize? Or would that make it worse?"

"I don't know him, I have no idea. You can help me figure out a way to get the Silmarils so we don't need Mandos for backup and inappropriate sexual inclinations aren't ironed out of people by divine command."

"Yes, that is the plan in the long run," Cam says. "Thank you for the cultural update."

And then he goes to see if Findekáno is within finding-and-apologizing range.

He has still managed to resist the urge to wake Maitimo up - waking up to upset osanwe is unpleasant - but barely. The adrenaline hasn't yet faded and he's telling his body to stop doing it. Hallway's still empty.

"Hey. I'm sorry about that, culture gap thing, I was not trying to insult you like that." Just a little bit. Not that much.

"I'm surprised Maitimo didn't explain it to you. You could have made a costlier mistake. The King already can't be bothered with me.

Culture gap thing?"

"It didn't come up with Maitimo," shrugs Cam. "Although I suppose if I'd been peeking at the Valian reactions to the library of Hell I would have noticed? Uh, I was being slightly rude about your general... dramaticness... but not in non-Elf cultural terms especially rude about anything else."